Hey Adel,
First of all, I want to welcome you to Teen Help. I'm glad you're confiding in us, and this is, believe if or not, a step in the right direction. Reaching out is always a good thing. Regardless of the result, staying quiet about something like this isn't good and you've taken the first step by opening up. You'll find that in time it can be a good experience and I hope you can get the advice you're looking for here.
The think about feeling lonely is it can happen at the worst times. I find when I'm feeling great, I don't feel lonely. Often depression and suicidal ideation follow hand in hand and you need to keep that in mind before making any rash decisions. Ending your life would be a rash decision. Consider the fact that people talk to you because they like you. If no one liked you or cared, they'd avoid you. And whoever does avoid you doesn't deserve your time anyway - because they're only harming themselves. They're missing out.
Finding people that understand and can relate is often a difficult task. I find finding people you can relate to comes when you're involved in things you enjoy. My advice for this is to join something you like to do. Get involved in a hobby that makes you happy and start to get to know people in there. You'll find conversation much easier there. Also, you might want to consider speaking to a professional about this. Especially if this has been going on for some time, you may need to seek a professional to help you heal. I want you to know that it's okay. Some of the best people ask for help. You might even be able to join a program through your counselor that gives you other teens to talk to.
The biggest thing here is remembering not to assume the worst. It's so easy to believe no one cares, but you need to take the step and believe someone cares. Because often people we've never met before will care. And I guarantee people would know you're missing. More people than you notice care. Suicide affects many lines of people. It affects family, friends, friends of friends. The question you need to ask yourself is do you care? If the answer is yes, then stick around. If the answer is no then the goal is to find a reason to care. Suicide isn't just someone dying, it's someone taking their own life and that thought ruins the people who love you. They might blame themselves and in the end, it's causing more pain than necessary.
I think you can do this, and I believe that with the right help you can get better. It just takes time and perserverence. But you've made it this far, don't throw all the progress away just yet. If you need anything at all,
PM me. Remember to try to use our HelpLINK or Live Help if you need it. : ) Take care.
Have hope,
-Melissa