Lonely

[Adel]

I'm not really sure how these things work, so forgive me if I sound mean or something..

I'm lonely, and in highschool and by lonely I mean I feel as if no one understands me. Parents, friends..they seem just not to care, I dont know..I seemingly lost the will to live. Even as I type this, i'm starting to cry because its hard for me to be like this. I grew up being a child to show off for my parents, and Idk; if I don't they get mad and say you're blah blah and this this. My friends, are just idk; they don't care..they dont seem like it. I want to kill myself, something thats just quick and easy. Thinking about it and what'll it do to my "parents/friends"; it seems unlikely that any of them will care. Idk what to think anymore, i've lost my state of my mind, who I am as well..Someone please, help me..I need help and I dont know what else I can do. I need someone anything, anyone at all please. I'm begging. Thank you for listening..

[SimplyComplex]

Hey Adel,

First of all, I want to welcome you to Teen Help. I'm glad you're confiding in us, and this is, believe if or not, a step in the right direction. Reaching out is always a good thing. Regardless of the result, staying quiet about something like this isn't good and you've taken the first step by opening up. You'll find that in time it can be a good experience and I hope you can get the advice you're looking for here.

The think about feeling lonely is it can happen at the worst times. I find when I'm feeling great, I don't feel lonely. Often depression and suicidal ideation follow hand in hand and you need to keep that in mind before making any rash decisions. Ending your life would be a rash decision. Consider the fact that people talk to you because they like you. If no one liked you or cared, they'd avoid you. And whoever does avoid you doesn't deserve your time anyway - because they're only harming themselves. They're missing out.

Finding people that understand and can relate is often a difficult task. I find finding people you can relate to comes when you're involved in things you enjoy. My advice for this is to join something you like to do. Get involved in a hobby that makes you happy and start to get to know people in there. You'll find conversation much easier there. Also, you might want to consider speaking to a professional about this. Especially if this has been going on for some time, you may need to seek a professional to help you heal. I want you to know that it's okay. Some of the best people ask for help. You might even be able to join a program through your counselor that gives you other teens to talk to.

The biggest thing here is remembering not to assume the worst. It's so easy to believe no one cares, but you need to take the step and believe someone cares. Because often people we've never met before will care. And I guarantee people would know you're missing. More people than you notice care. Suicide affects many lines of people. It affects family, friends, friends of friends. The question you need to ask yourself is do you care? If the answer is yes, then stick around. If the answer is no then the goal is to find a reason to care. Suicide isn't just someone dying, it's someone taking their own life and that thought ruins the people who love you. They might blame themselves and in the end, it's causing more pain than necessary.

I think you can do this, and I believe that with the right help you can get better. It just takes time and perserverence. But you've made it this far, don't throw all the progress away just yet. If you need anything at all, PM me. Remember to try to use our HelpLINK or Live Help if you need it. : ) Take care.

Have hope,
-Melissa

[noise94]

Hey there, Adel! Welcome to TeenHelp!

I'm really really glad that you decided to take the step to come on here and ask us for some advice! That's not a very easy step to take, and a lot of people never manage to ask for some help. But you've done it, so you should be really proud of yourself! You should never try to handle all your problems on your own, that's just too difficult!

I know it must be awful feeling like none of the people around you care, but I promise you they do. Why would someone be friends with you if they didn't care/want to? They wouldn't. They do love you very much, some people just aren't very good at showing how they feel! Of course your family loves you so much, they're your family! They love you by default.

I think you need to have a chat with them, Adel. They can't help you if they don't know whats going on! It's very difficult to open up to people, I understand that, but it's always worth it in the end. Keeping everything locked up inside does way more harm than good. If you don't think you can open up to them yet, then try to talk to someone else. A teacher, school counselor, anybody that you feel you can trust, even if just a little bit.

Suicide is not something anybody gets over. I've had people I barely knew commit suicide, and it devastated me. The pain it causes people who are close to the person who dies is so unbearable. You would really really hurt your loved ones, and I'm sure that's the last thing you want to do.

It's all really difficult right now, I know. But just hang in there. You have so many people who care about you. And we're all going to be here for you every single step of the way. Here's a list of people that can help you when you're feeling really down. Just stay strong, okay? You can get through this, I believe in you.

[Adel]

I don't know what to think anymore, who I am, what I was; Its just like this abyss thats in my heart and thank you for replieing, I needed someone anyone. I feel as if i'm being pushed up against a wall.
I don't even know what "love" is anymore, I'm afraid of life, of living, many questions pop into my head "Who am I? Should I tell someone? Would anyone believe me" Nothing I do seems to make my life any easier. Its like each step I talk, it'll come down and haunt me in the end.
I can't tell my parents because I know they are going to get mad and yell at me, I can't tell my friends, cause I know they are going to spread rumours and be really vicious about it. No one ever seems to care about me, my sanity is gone, rather it feels like it and it's hard for me not to assume the worst, because I've always seen the "reality" of things. I feel as if i'm spiriling down into an abyss that I can't climb out of...