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Jen Offline
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Name: Jen
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Location: Massachusetts

Posts: 1,480
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Join Date: March 28th 2009

Re: Supporting her with her anorexia. - October 11th 2009, 06:16 PM

Hey Jess <3

I'm really impressed with this post. You really recognize that you need to put yourself first, and get better with your own things, before you can help someone else fully, and that's an amazing realization. It takes most people a long time to realize that--myself included. Good for you.

I think there is a difference between being there to support your sister, and totally investing yourself 100% in her issues. I think it's absolutely okay to tell her that you love her, and you want to be there for her, and you will always believe in her, but that you can't help her until you help yourself, and right now you need to focus on yourself. It's the same thing with her--she needs to fix herself, and yes she needs support, but SHE is the one that needs to do it.

And, of course, this isn't to say that you should tell your sister that you never want to talk to her or hang out with her, but let her know that until you are in a more stable place, you need to put up some boundaries, because you need to take care of yourself as well. And overall, Jess, the best thing you can do for your sister is tell her you love her and that you believe in her. Often times that's all anyone wants, you know?

I'm proud of you for putting yourself first.
<3




"Do not ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

“if nothing changed, there’d be no butterflies”