[gabbystar]

About 4 months ago, i went to a pub with my friend and some lads. A chap was there from when i was at school, two years older than me - right player slept with everybody used girls but people liked him because he was handsome- and we spoke a bit as you do. I had three drinks in total.. i can take my drink was fine, however he bought me one i was outside i later found out he had spiked it with some kind of drug. I dont remember much after that, so many blank moments.. i remmeber my friend going in side her house and waiting at the bottom of her drive with him for a taxi.. we were only two left. Then its a blank, then i remmeber saying 'no no i cant no im taken i cant' and him saying 'hmm please hmm' he took my hand and placed it down his trousers i was so out of it i didnt even acknowledge it at the time. I then have another blank moment then a small flash of being bent over behind a bush then blank again then i remmeber being in the taxi and him saying 'get the morning after pill'

i dont remmeber having sex but its obvious he ejaculated inside me
the next few days i felt physically sick i had std tests and everything- luckily it was clear. No one but the friend who was there that night knows.. i still to this day feel like a dirty disgusting girl, i hate the fact i have no memory of it but then i wonder if thats a good thing..

when i was younger an older cousin tried to touch me, i kind of mentally block it out. but this as well.. is this the same? am i to blame for having the drink, flirting a bit? makes me hate myself more to be honest