[Emily.]

Hey there, Rachel.

I do think what happened to you was rape. You told him in the past that you did not want to participate in anal sex and he chose to ignore what you wanted. It's not your fault at all.

I also think the important thing in this situation, though, is how you feel. Everyone is going to have different opinions, but you were the one that was there and you were the one that was hurt.

Have you considered talking with a counselor about what you're going through? It can be really helpful in dealing with what happened and coping with the feelings after. There are some free services out there that shouldn't require you to talk to your parents if you don't want to. RAINN has centers throughout the US - this link should help you find out if there is one near you.

I hope you're doing okay right now. Be good to yourself and you can PM me anytime if you want to talk.
<3 Emily