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Re: Dating multiple people at once - May 18th 2011, 11:12 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by xxpaigiexx View Post
I think it very much depends.
With me, I will see more than one person unless it has been specified that we are exclusive. If I'm exclusive with someone I will be happy just to see them and spend time with them.
Being in a relationship with someone is completely different though, that definitely has to be discussed.
For example, I'm seeing someone at the moment, but he hasn't asked me to see just him exclusively, but I'm spending so much time with him and the time I'm spending with him I'm enjoying so I have no need to spend time with someone else because I fully intend to be in a relationship with this guy when the time is right.

I think as long as you're open and honest then there is nothing wrong with dating more than one person, and when things start to take a turn towards being more serious you have to decide if you wish to be more exclusive with this person or if you're happy with just dating them for more time.
What would happen if the guy thought you two were exclusive and you didn't feel the same way? Or to flip the tables using your situation, what if the guy does not see you exclusively, but you are seeing him exclusively?

Just wondering.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Superstar View Post
Speaking as someone who does date multiple people at one time, I think it's a fine idea. Some people do it to seek a family of sorts to share their life with, others like it to augment a relationship with a primary partner, and still others do it just to have a little fun. Whatever the reason, dating multiple people is a completely okay type of relationship style to have; it's simply different, and less common, than traditional monogamy.

I am involved in what is known as a triad, a Female-Male-Female triad. In this group of three people, everyone is involved with everyone else. In addition, we have it set up that we can see other people on the side as long as they are approved by our partners, primarily by the male in our relationship, since he heads it. For us communication is of utmost importance. It is in any relationship, but it becomes doubly so once there are multiple people involved. This means that everyone needs to be on the same page. If you aren't exclusive with someone, it's best to tell them upfront that you aren't exclusive with them to avoid confusion and hurt feelings down the road.

In my experience, poly relationships are truly an amazing thing. They have a sense of community, of family, that is stronger than that of a typical dyad relationship. There are more people to rely on, more people to trust and share intimacy with, and more people just to have fun with. But be warned, poly relationships can come with a lot more burdens, too. It's difficult to balance everyone's wants and needs in the relationship, and there will be times you will get hurt and disappointed because yours don't get met first. There can also be more jealousy and envy in poly relationships, which can be hard to deal with.

While poly relationships are different, they're a lot like monogamous relationships, too. Both face the challenges of daily life and both have their respective issues. A lot of people can be weirded out by the idea of polyamory, but when all is said and done it's just a different style of relationships.
In all honesty, I have never heard from this type of relationship outside of "swingers." Interesting perspective. Seems like it would definitely be viewed as "strange" by most people but it is probably cool for the people that are involved and willing.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ShannonPants View Post
It depends.

I think that if both parties are consenting that it's okay for either one, or both, to date other people or multiple people at once, it's no big deal. If one doesn't know of the other's dating other people, then that could be considered as cheating, I suppose.

It all depends on the situation, and what both parties had agreed too.

Open relationships also mean friends with benefits, so I'm not sure sleeping with multiple people is cool; I mean, your having sex with one person, then those two people are also having sex with one or more people. It just leads up to bad reputations, possible pregnancies (where one doesn't know who the father is) and STD's if you don't know if the other is clean. It could be fun for a while, but dangerous as well.
If it is never defined as an exclusive relationship, can it be considered cheating?

I definitely agree with the "friends with benefits" thing.

Do you guys think that there is a double standard in regards to dating multiple partners at once (women are labeled as "sluts" where men are "studs") or is it becoming more acceptable for both genders as time goes on?


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