[SouthernBelle.]

Originally Posted by Guile

Look man, I've been around the block and into the alleys a few times so let me help you out here, you need to follow my directions exactly though.

You must initiate contact with the female entity. Now the female entity may or may not appreciate your approach, if she does you must immediately continue your dialogue regarding a topic of mutual interest. This is not the time to bring up your amazing stamp collection or your collection of finely stacked Magic the gathering cards. If the female does not reciprocate contact immediately move in a serpentine pattern to get away from the female, you might be surprised to find out that females cannot track a serpentine pattern, it is an evolved weakness through selective breeding.

Once the female has been engaged in audible verbatim for at least a minimum of five minutes you must begin telegraph contact, using the audible graph. Once the routing number has been acquired you must initiate contact between 48 and 72 hours later. If you are havin trouble acquiring her routing number, pay her compliments, it isn't relavent as to if you mean them, the female will take to any reasonable compliment like a psychiatrist to cocaine.

Once you have the routing number initiate a courtship, this is done by spending audacious amounts of capital on the female, if she finds your economic investment adequate you may be able to bed the woman. To do this you must take the female to a suitable location for bedding, a drawing room may be appropriate, or one's living quarters, that being the bed in which you lay for respite, and wear the intestines of a sheep around uour erect phallus to protect yourself from venereal diseases fitting of a prostitute.

Okay, just saying, this is genius.

But in all seriousness, the way to get a girl is this: First, find one you like. Second, find something to talk to her about, and talk to her about it (smile a lot, but don't treat her like she's gold, 'cause she won't like you if you seem desperate). Third, get to know her a bit more. Fourth, flirt with her, and if she flirts back, move onto step five, which is to ask her out. Either she says yes, or she says no.

Simple as that.



Now, getting over the social awkwardness: Just ignore the fact that she's a girl, and talk to her like she's just another one of the guys. Don't think of her as better than you, as an angel of goodness or a goddess of light, or you'll start panicking because you'll wonder: "How the hell am I going to impress her?" Someone on this site once said to remember that that beautiful, angelic girl you adore so much farts just the same as you do. The only downside to thinking that while you're talking to a girl is that you might end up laughing like an idiot.


And no, I'm not a dude, but seeing how us girls have a lot of experience in being 'dated' and dealing with socially awkward boys who like us, I think we're more than qualified to offer our advice.