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I need help, trigger warning.
Hello, i'm a muslim girl living in a muslim family. I recently turned 15 and my mother started talking to me about "circumcision" she said its an operation to cut the clitoris off and lower my sex drive so i dont get pregnant or masturbate. She said i will be going to holiday to my grandma in egypt. Im scared and i dont want this done to me. Please give me some advice and what to do. Should i just let them? should i run away, please help.me.
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Re: I need help, trigger warning.
I have to admit, I don't know much of female circumcision, other than by Western standards it is considered genital mutilation and is practiced in certain areas of the world such as Africa. There are many different stages of such circumcision. However, I won't go into details, given the site's rules. Mutilation of the clitoris won't protect you from getting pregnant. I can only assume she told you this to scare you or some other obscene way of trying to persuade you to undergo such a horrific procedure.
While I want to be respectful of your religious views, and that of your family, I simply cannot agree with mutilation of the human body in the way your mother has planned for you. It's your body. You and only you should be the deciding factor in whether or not you should have anything removed from your body. As you have access to the internet, I would strongly suggest doing research on what such a procedure actually entails, as well as the many dangers you face in having it. There are no health benefits in having this procedure, only an inordinate amount of risks such as pain, infections, and much worse. Again, I strongly urge you to research into this practice beforehand. In addition to this, I would consider discussing the issue with your mother. Again, while I want to be respectful of religious practices, surely she must recognise and understand this is only going to cause you more harm than good. Such a procedure has been scientifically shown to do so by the World Health Organisation. In terms of running away, I can't comment on this. I understand the situation you're in and the last thing I'd want is for you to be physically harmed by your mother's misunderstood beliefs on female 'circumcision'. You're also only 15 years old and you must ask yourself, where would you go? How would you get there? What exactly would you achieve by running away? You must be sensible about this. I understand why you'd want to run away. This is a really big deal and not something that should be treated lightly. Once you undergo this procedure, there is no going back. It's permanent. You won't get back what she's forcing you to have removed. I can't make the decision for you. Only you can decide what you want in this regard. But make sure you've fully researched everything before you make any kind of decision. |
Re: I need help, trigger warning.
For a female is a big loss. I understand if a boy needs a circumcision, but a female? You're not an animal, even there's a religious meaning. That's what your parents need to know. :(
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Re: I need help, trigger warning.
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Re: I need help, trigger warning.
Hello and welcome to Teenhelp! It is wonderful that you have joined us and I am sorry that you are having a hard time with this right now and hope that you will be okay soon. Do you have any other family members that you can go and stay with? Are you able to talk to your friends about this? If you are in school, see if you can try talking to a teacher or someone at the school about this and maybe they can help you out with this. Maybe they can also help you to talk with your mother about this as well. Sometimes it is hard talking to our parents about something, try writing a letter to her and put everything in it that you are feeling and put it somewhere that she can see it. Ask in the letter if you and her can try talking about this together. If you are talking to her about this try talking calmly if you can, because then you will be able to say why you feel like this. I hope that you will be okay soon and everything works out for you.
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Re: I need help, trigger warning.
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Re: I need help, trigger warning.
If you can, try writing a letter and put it somewhere that she can see it and read it. Hope you will be okay.
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Re: I need help, trigger warning.
Hi, can you try talking to a friend's parent and maybe they can help you out with this. Hope you will be okay soon.
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Re: I need help, trigger warning.
I'm so sorry about this and hope that you will be okay soon. :hug:
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Re: I need help, trigger warning.
Hey, Is there a way when you arrive at the airport or are on the plan and attract the attention of the air stewards etc and explain the situation to them so they can alert the authorities etc so that you can get the help you need? or once you are in Egypt could you maybe find a way to alert the authorities etc? Theres lots of advice online about FGM.
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Re: I need help, trigger warning.
is there someone you can contact like the police or someone ?
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thanks for the help and i'm sorry, i was too scared to do anything |
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Re: I need help, trigger warning.
I'm so sorry about this and hope that you will be okay soon. Sending you lots of :hug: :hug:
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Re: I need help, trigger warning.
Hi, sorry to hear that, you can still get help, is there anyone you can speak to like a teacher or a school counsellor or something like that? or could you go to a Dr or the hospital and get checked over? Sorry I didn't reply sooner I haven't been able to get online alot over the past week.
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Re: I need help, trigger warning.
You need to see a Dr or a GP , its important to make sure that is healing properly, your right it is unfair, but if you see a dr or gp or go to a sexual health clinic/center they will be able to help you and put you in contact with organisations etc that can help you as well.
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Re: I need help, trigger warning.
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Re: I need help, trigger warning.
Hello there,
I'm sorry for being so late to the conversation. Firstly, I want to send you all my love and support. I'm so, so sorry that this has happened to you. I personally do not know anyone who has opened up as honestly as you have about circumcision, but I have heard a lot about this practice. It happens a lot in my part of the world (South and Southeast Asia) among the Muslim community. I have so many Muslim friends but no one has uttered a word about it. From what I understand, it is a very rampant yet hushed practice, which explains why you had to suffer alone. Please be assured that support exists. As others on this forum have mentioned, there are support groups for people like you. I'm attaching a few links here: https://www.yourwholebaby.org/for-the-circumcised https://sahiyo.com/support-resources/ (this has country-specific resources) https://www.humanrightscareers.com/i...al-mutilation/ (here is a list of such organisations) Circumcision without consent, as in your case, can have a physically and emotionally scarring effect. Please don't hesitate to reach out for help - it is available and it can do wonders for you. It's so important that you reached out to us. I understand that you would be overwhelmed by so many emotions right now. It's best if you: 1) Meet a GP to check that your vulva region is healing properly. I really assert this point because from what I know, female circumcision is not always done in a safe or hygienic way. I don't know the kind of place you were at when it happened to you, but I would be very concerned about the healing of such a tender region of the body. 2) Meet a counsellor. You're 15 so I assume you're in school. Your school will probably have a guidance counsellor whom you can talk to about this. If not a guidance counsellor, perhaps meet a teacher. These are complex emotions you're going through - you want to be able to cope with them in the best way possible now so that you can look forward to better days. Also, I thought of sharing a short documentary I watched on FGM in Singapore where I live. It shocked me, because I have lived in Singapore for close to 20 years and I had no clue it was so rampant. One of the featured ladies has a story similar to yours. However, I will add a trigger warning here as the documentary is about a topic that is still so raw in your mind. But if you feel it might give you a sense of solidarity to see that you're not alone, you can go ahead and watch it. Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FGLPtcXv8aE While you might not be able to change what has already happened, you can be a voice for the future. Stay strong :hug: Don't hesitate to PM me if you have any questions! |
Re: I need help, trigger warning.
I miss masturbation too much..
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Re: I need help, trigger warning.
It seems like your biggest concern is masturbation and not the fact your genitals were mutilated. Getting to the second part, have you spoken to anyone about the trauma you went through? Have you sought out medical care to check for and prevent infection? I suggest looking into support services so you can healthily cope with this. As for masturbation, there are other things to worry about, including your trauma and I think it's important to educate other young women about it.
What you went through is pretty serious and it affects so many Muslim girls that have to conform to outdated traditions in the Islamist faith. Join in on the many young women that have experienced and will experience this trauma, speak out! |
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My hope is that you'll take whatever time you need for yourself to recover and come to grips with many of the complicated emotions you might be feeling. You are not alone, but that does not mean you have to seek out others right now, or speak out publicly about the horrors of female circumcision. I would honestly be surprised if you were in a place to do so now, as it is still so fresh and you are still probably in a great deal of shock. It will be a long process to healing, both physically and emotionally. Beyond minimizing the risks of physical infection, and making sure your wounds are healing okay, I don't think you need to worry too much about speaking out on behalf of all the women who undergo this atrocity. Let yourself heal at your own pace, and seek out others who have undergone this same experience when you are ready. It could be helpful to be able to speak to others who can relate, but don't feel pressure to do that now if it's not something you are ready for. Please, focus on taking care of yourself, and remember, it's okay to be wherever you are at in this healing and recovery process. |
Re: I need help, trigger warning.
You must firstly speak with them, and explain that you don't want that.
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Re: I need help, trigger warning.
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