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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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I need help, trigger warning. - September 13th 2021, 08:15 PM

Hello, i'm a muslim girl living in a muslim family. I recently turned 15 and my mother started talking to me about "circumcision" she said its an operation to cut the clitoris off and lower my sex drive so i dont get pregnant or masturbate. She said i will be going to holiday to my grandma in egypt. Im scared and i dont want this done to me. Please give me some advice and what to do. Should i just let them? should i run away, please help.me.
   
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Re: I need help, trigger warning. - September 14th 2021, 12:55 AM

I have to admit, I don't know much of female circumcision, other than by Western standards it is considered genital mutilation and is practiced in certain areas of the world such as Africa. There are many different stages of such circumcision. However, I won't go into details, given the site's rules. Mutilation of the clitoris won't protect you from getting pregnant. I can only assume she told you this to scare you or some other obscene way of trying to persuade you to undergo such a horrific procedure.

While I want to be respectful of your religious views, and that of your family, I simply cannot agree with mutilation of the human body in the way your mother has planned for you. It's your body. You and only you should be the deciding factor in whether or not you should have anything removed from your body.

As you have access to the internet, I would strongly suggest doing research on what such a procedure actually entails, as well as the many dangers you face in having it. There are no health benefits in having this procedure, only an inordinate amount of risks such as pain, infections, and much worse. Again, I strongly urge you to research into this practice beforehand.

In addition to this, I would consider discussing the issue with your mother. Again, while I want to be respectful of religious practices, surely she must recognise and understand this is only going to cause you more harm than good. Such a procedure has been scientifically shown to do so by the World Health Organisation.

In terms of running away, I can't comment on this. I understand the situation you're in and the last thing I'd want is for you to be physically harmed by your mother's misunderstood beliefs on female 'circumcision'. You're also only 15 years old and you must ask yourself, where would you go? How would you get there? What exactly would you achieve by running away? You must be sensible about this. I understand why you'd want to run away. This is a really big deal and not something that should be treated lightly. Once you undergo this procedure, there is no going back. It's permanent. You won't get back what she's forcing you to have removed. I can't make the decision for you. Only you can decide what you want in this regard. But make sure you've fully researched everything before you make any kind of decision.


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Unhappy Re: I need help, trigger warning. - September 14th 2021, 06:51 AM

For a female is a big loss. I understand if a boy needs a circumcision, but a female? You're not an animal, even there's a religious meaning. That's what your parents need to know.
   
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Re: I need help, trigger warning. - September 14th 2021, 01:40 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rivičre View Post
I have to admit, I don't know much of female circumcision, other than by Western standards it is considered genital mutilation and is practiced in certain areas of the world such as Africa. There are many different stages of such circumcision. However, I won't go into details, given the site's rules. Mutilation of the clitoris won't protect you from getting pregnant. I can only assume she told you this to scare you or some other obscene way of trying to persuade you to undergo such a horrific procedure.

While I want to be respectful of your religious views, and that of your family, I simply cannot agree with mutilation of the human body in the way your mother has planned for you. It's your body. You and only you should be the deciding factor in whether or not you should have anything removed from your body.

As you have access to the internet, I would strongly suggest doing research on what such a procedure actually entails, as well as the many dangers you face in having it. There are no health benefits in having this procedure, only an inordinate amount of risks such as pain, infections, and much worse. Again, I strongly urge you to research into this practice beforehand.

In addition to this, I would consider discussing the issue with your mother. Again, while I want to be respectful of religious practices, surely she must recognise and understand this is only going to cause you more harm than good. Such a procedure has been scientifically shown to do so by the World Health Organisation.

In terms of running away, I can't comment on this. I understand the situation you're in and the last thing I'd want is for you to be physically harmed by your mother's misunderstood beliefs on female 'circumcision'. You're also only 15 years old and you must ask yourself, where would you go? How would you get there? What exactly would you achieve by running away? You must be sensible about this. I understand why you'd want to run away. This is a really big deal and not something that should be treated lightly. Once you undergo this procedure, there is no going back. It's permanent. You won't get back what she's forcing you to have removed. I can't make the decision for you. Only you can decide what you want in this regard. But make sure you've fully researched everything before you make any kind of decision.
She doesn't want to discuss at all, she said she doesn't care. I'm going there in a week. I think my only option is running away, I don't know how to tell anyone, im scared. I don't know where i will go if i run away but anything is better than having this done to me. I want to be able to.. have it intact.. i want to have a sexual life. She got mad at me when i said i don't want it
   
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Re: I need help, trigger warning. - September 14th 2021, 05:18 PM

Hello and welcome to Teenhelp! It is wonderful that you have joined us and I am sorry that you are having a hard time with this right now and hope that you will be okay soon. Do you have any other family members that you can go and stay with? Are you able to talk to your friends about this? If you are in school, see if you can try talking to a teacher or someone at the school about this and maybe they can help you out with this. Maybe they can also help you to talk with your mother about this as well. Sometimes it is hard talking to our parents about something, try writing a letter to her and put everything in it that you are feeling and put it somewhere that she can see it. Ask in the letter if you and her can try talking about this together. If you are talking to her about this try talking calmly if you can, because then you will be able to say why you feel like this. I hope that you will be okay soon and everything works out for you.


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Re: I need help, trigger warning. - September 15th 2021, 12:16 PM

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Originally Posted by Golfing girl View Post
Hello and welcome to Teenhelp! It is wonderful that you have joined us and I am sorry that you are having a hard time with this right now and hope that you will be okay soon. Do you have any other family members that you can go and stay with? Are you able to talk to your friends about this? If you are in school, see if you can try talking to a teacher or someone at the school about this and maybe they can help you out with this. Maybe they can also help you to talk with your mother about this as well. Sometimes it is hard talking to our parents about something, try writing a letter to her and put everything in it that you are feeling and put it somewhere that she can see it. Ask in the letter if you and her can try talking about this together. If you are talking to her about this try talking calmly if you can, because then you will be able to say why you feel like this. I hope that you will be okay soon and everything works out for you.
I only have a week left. My mother doesnt want to hear anything i say, she wont listen to me or change her mind. I dont want this done to me.. But i don't want to be an orphan without a family either.. i don't know where to go, im too scared to talk about things like this with anyone. Should i just accept it and let it be done?.
   
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Re: I need help, trigger warning. - September 16th 2021, 12:10 AM

If you can, try writing a letter and put it somewhere that she can see it and read it. Hope you will be okay.


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Re: I need help, trigger warning. - September 16th 2021, 07:04 PM

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If you can, try writing a letter and put it somewhere that she can see it and read it. Hope you will be okay.
my mother just doesn't care what i have to say.. She insists. I'm scared.
   
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Re: I need help, trigger warning. - September 18th 2021, 01:15 PM

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If you can, try writing a letter and put it somewhere that she can see it and read it. Hope you will be okay.
Just two days left. I can't.. please do something save me i have no idea what to do
   
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Re: I need help, trigger warning. - September 18th 2021, 01:56 PM

Hi, can you try talking to a friend's parent and maybe they can help you out with this. Hope you will be okay soon.


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Re: I need help, trigger warning. - September 18th 2021, 03:19 PM

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Hi, can you try talking to a friend's parent and maybe they can help you out with this. Hope you will be okay soon.
I dont want to lose my family. Is this my fault? maybe its not a big deal and im overreacting. I dont know what to do because im too scared to talk to anyone about my genitals. And that i will be taken away from my parents and have no home.
   
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Re: I need help, trigger warning. - September 20th 2021, 11:56 AM

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I dont want to lose my family. Is this my fault? maybe its not a big deal and im overreacting. I dont know what to do because im too scared to talk to anyone about my genitals. And that i will be taken away from my parents and have no home.
And today i'm going to my grandma.
   
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Re: I need help, trigger warning. - September 20th 2021, 06:39 PM

I'm so sorry about this and hope that you will be okay soon.


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Re: I need help, trigger warning. - September 20th 2021, 07:51 PM

Hey, Is there a way when you arrive at the airport or are on the plan and attract the attention of the air stewards etc and explain the situation to them so they can alert the authorities etc so that you can get the help you need? or once you are in Egypt could you maybe find a way to alert the authorities etc? Theres lots of advice online about FGM.



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Re: I need help, trigger warning. - Yesterday, 01:55 PM

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Hey, Is there a way when you arrive at the airport or are on the plan and attract the attention of the air stewards etc and explain the situation to them so they can alert the authorities etc so that you can get the help you need? or once you are in Egypt could you maybe find a way to alert the authorities etc? Theres lots of advice online about FGM.
I wish i had ran away, i'm getting it today and i dont know if i can escape now.
   
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Re: I need help, trigger warning. - Yesterday, 08:00 PM

is there someone you can contact like the police or someone ?



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