is this rape??
 

Um,,, is it rape if you consent to vaginal sex but then during the sex, the guy goes completely anal after you've said in the past that you werent into that sort of thing, but he just shoved it up there anyway?? I told him to stop and after a forth thrust into me he stopped, but the damage had already been done... it ripped a bit of my ass, and it bled and hurt for days.. Is this rape?

Re: is this rape??
 

Yep, because it was unconsensual.

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O.O what is there I can do about it?

Re: is this rape??
 

You can report him to the police, if you feel its necessary. Police statistics are often skewed because not enough women report sexual abuse. Also as much as I hate to take the 'panic' approach to things, the guy may become worse and lose control later after he has been told 'no' too many times and I would hate for you to risk that to yourself and would hate for him to do it to others.

Re: is this rape??
 

This happened months ago.. there is no evidence... and I've just been sooo in denial about it.. and one of my friends said it wasnt and that I was a whore for agreeing to it

Re: is this rape??
 

If you made it clear you did not want to do it then it was rape. There are always going to be people who won't believe your story or will try and blame you but don't let that stop you. You know what happened so don't let anyone elses behavior hurt you.

I would suggest you look into finding support for this. If you can't go to your friends then I would look into professional support. Find some support groups, get into therapy etc. I know it might be hard to do but it will help immensely with the healing process. Also, if you seek help from professionals they can give you some information about how the reporting process would work etc. There are also organizations that will help people through the reporting etc. By seeking help a counselor might be able to direct you to one of these places. There is help out there so don't be afraid to seek it.

Remember you did absolutely nothing wrong! I hope this helped and if you ever want to chat feel free to pm me.

Re: is this rape??
 

i havent told my parents thats the thing... and I cant tell them...

I might be getting emancipated anyway so it would only be a hinderance if I told anybody

Re: is this rape??
 

Re: is this rape??
 

what your doing is fine... its enough... I guess there is a few people i can trust... that I can confide in... its just weird... i mean i dont know how I would go about telling people... its not something you just randomly throw out there in a conversation

Re: is this rape??
 

Well, it is hard to tell people, I will admit that. It isn't something you just randomly bring up. I would suggest you sit down with the person or people you want to tell and say ''I have something I really need to tell you....''. Of course you can start it off differently but just let them know that you need to talk to them about some important things and go from there. Something I did when I wanted to confide some important things to a friend was send them a message saying ''I really need a friend, do you think we could meet some time and talk?'' With that I let him know I needed to talk about something important and we were able to set up a date. Doing that took some of the pressure off of the situation because I knew my friend already knew I was struggling. Bring it up in a way that feels comfortable to you. If you want write a letter explaining what happened. It is all about being comfortable. Of course there is no way to feel 100% comfortable when confiding something like this but there are certain things that can make it easier, you know?

Re: is this rape??
 

I didnt want to think about it for a long time.. and i was wondering lately if it was... and thats why i posted and now its like just hitting me... and I feel weird...

some say it isnt rape cuz I consented to regular sex, and that he just stuck it in my ass, and that it happens....

I know it wasnt right... but was i in the wrong at all??

Re: is this rape??
 

Re: is this rape??
 

Re: is this rape??
 

Re: is this rape??
 

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I'm sorry that this has upset you so much, and it definitely wasn't your fault.

However, I don't believe this was rape. Even though you had told him earlier, is it possible that he had forgotten or was just caught up in the moment? Of course that is no excuse, but when you asked him to stop he stopped.

Again, it was terrible you went through that but it seems to me that it was an unfortunate misunderstanding and when you made your wishes clear he stopped. Is it worth ruining his life over? Not to be harsh but if you do go to the police you probably won't get anywhere because you consented to having sex originally and because he stopped. You would put yourself through a lot of emotional trauma where people would unfairly question your character.

You should DEFINITELY talk this through with someone though.

Re: is this rape??
 

I'm not going to the police, I never said I was going to... I didnt consent to anal at all. I said no. I consented to vaginal sex. That is all. and to be perfectly honest, this has affected me to the point where people cant stand directly behind me, and unless I trust someone, (which is rare) they're allowed to hug me from behind... This has really messed me up....

Re: is this rape??
 

Yeah. this would be rape.
you didn't consent to it.

Re: is this rape??