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Re: Screaming thread.
I've been waiting half a year for that prom and doing the dance. I was really waiting impatiently for that. So why am I the only one who won't be dancing?
All their shit has drained me so much that right now I detest having to attend this prom. I don't want to. |
Re: Screaming thread.
I wish I could burn myself.
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Re: Screaming thread.
Too depressed to give a damn
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Re: Screaming thread.
Having a down day. Sitting alone in the villa for the next 7-8 hours probably
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Re: Screaming thread.
Want to write. Can't think of anything.
It's hot. There's a community pool. Need to shower before I swim. Don't want to shower. Want to play video games in the next room. Don't want to put clothes on. at this point it's just a matter of time |
Re: Screaming thread.
Too depressed to care about anything.
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Re: Screaming thread.
I have been irritable today. I woke up that way. Hope tomorrow is better. Just one more day and then I can spend the weekend sleeping in.
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Re: Screaming thread.
I know it was the perfect storm, but seeing other people's stories makes me wonder if I could've done it somewhere else. Some can, some can't and no one else I read about went where I did. I guess it doesn't matter since I can't do it over or start over and go back anyway, but you have no idea how much everything huts sometimes. I guess the fact that it was so similar to an abusive relationship should've been a clue. I guess we'll never know. I wish I could at least get the money back though or have the credits count for something.
I wish I could go somewhere else and start over to see if it was really possible or to try something else with a clean slate. It would take a miracle though. I persued my dream and a corrupted program ruined my life! "Don't adopt a victim mentality." "Don't adopt an asshole mentality." First of all, you didn't even read the damn thing it has nothing to do with that. Second, since when is it a "victim mentality" to admit that an ILLNESS ISN'T A CHOICE?! What the fuck is wrong with people?! Some people need to learn the appropriate time to use the laughing face on Facebook. Not everything is funny! Especially children dying, what the fuck?! When do parents stop being held accountable for their children's actions and lives? When the children are considered adults 100% capable of making indepenent life choices in their own best interest, and have been taught how to do so. That doesn't mean that their childhood doesn't influence them, just that they can't blame it forever. Every life event has an expiration date of being used as an "acceptable excuse." Stop playing the victim because you don't like that patents are always blamed, kids don't like that they sometimes don't get blamed enough. |
Re: Screaming thread.
woke up in the middle of the night. went to turn on the lamp. had a small flashback of what she did to me. nothing's really making sense right now, and i'm not liking it.
i hate being sick. |
Re: Screaming thread.
Ok so you are in the math camp now, calm your nerves down Ivan!
And make sure you sleep the whole night without getting up and do something in the midnight! Death is never an option and dont do it! I am talking to myself and I am crazy lol |
Re: Screaming thread.
I don't know what I'm waiting for
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Re: Screaming thread.
I know you don't have anyone else, and while I love taking you out and being able to help you, I can't help but always feel overwhelmed and stressed out, because I know that you have to take care of him, but he drives me insane. Always running around, screaming, breaking things, and I know it isn't your fault, and I don't even think it's his fault, I think it was the way he was raised, and I can't put that blame on him, but it's so stressful to deal with, and I'm just not sure how I'm going to handle that.
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Re: Screaming thread.
Why is it so tiring living life? News is tiring, being social is tiring, everything is tiring. Of course, no one said life would be easy, but why can't everyone in this world stop yelling and being mad at everyone and just be happy for once? Life doesn't have to be hell. You allowed to be happy even if it's just for a moment.
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Re: Screaming thread.
So tired today, I am ready to crawl into bed and sleep but it's only 1:30 PM.
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Re: Screaming thread.
I want to go homw
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Re: Screaming thread.
I feel like crying. I can't believe this happened.
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Re: Screaming thread.
Every time I text her I feel like such an idiot.
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Re: Screaming thread.
I don't like being around people and it doesn't go well when I am around people. What a horrible characteristic to have when you simultaneously are desperate for a relationship.
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Re: Screaming thread.
i dont want to be poor anymore
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Re: Screaming thread.
Wish Monday would hurry up.
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Re: Screaming thread.
I'm feeling okay today. But I can feel it slipping.
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Re: Screaming thread.
Does it count as SH when you deliberately sit in direct sunlight for 2 hours or more and don't apply su cream? I've basically managed to cook myself
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Re: Screaming thread.
I wanna cry and I don't know why. Yay PMS.
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Re: Screaming thread.
I hate you so much. Why did you steal my story? I can't believe you did that to me. You're a terrible person!!!!!!!
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Re: Screaming thread.
I knew going in that probably wouldn't work and I was right again! Why? Because you need what I can't have. I'm so fucking over this.
Found a better option, and the closest one is 30 minutes away. He said he fixed the AC, but it's only partially fixed. I'm basically waiting for it to die completely and then replacing it is $3000 we absolutely don't have. |
Re: Screaming thread.
Envious of people who broadcast their lavish lifestyle on Facebook. :glare:
Oh, here's me in Italy! :D Ten years ago... :? No big lavish trip since then. :whistle: |
Re: Screaming thread.
It's a beautiful evening and I've had a really good day and all i want to do us curl up and cry anyway. Sitting on my own convincing myself that everyone hates me and would be better off without me. What a way to spend a holiday.
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Re: Screaming thread.
I'm tired and I don't want to wake up anymore
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Re: Screaming thread.
I don't know what I'm doing. And why am I depressed? What the hell do I have to be depressed about?
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Re: Screaming thread.
I would rather walk into traffic than go to this interview
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Re: Screaming thread.
I wish I were dead. I honestly do. It's the only way out of all of this.
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Re: Screaming thread.
On God if I start my period while I'm out today I'm gonna throw myself in front of a car. There's only so much physical stress I can handle when I'm all by myself.
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Re: Screaming thread.
I hate being disappointed!!!
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Re: Screaming thread.
I hate that feeling between too awake to sleep and too tired to get up.
I really wish I could rebuild a life worth living, but I think I'm just torturing myself for no fucking reason. Apparently I'm less alone than I thought. Other schools and programs have been doing and getting away with this shit to people with this disorder for over 20 years. If I could get paid for that, my problem would be solved. That usually means they're editing it. Hopefully, they only cut out what I probably should have and don't mess with it too much Well, those few minutes of feeling good were nice. Too bad it'll never last. |
Re: Screaming thread.
Why do I bother?
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Re: Screaming thread.
I alternately want to scream and break things or scrub myself raw in the shower.
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Re: Screaming thread.
So devastated I didn't get to meet you properly. The only time we met was at the funeral and nana loved you so much. I hope somehow the two of you are back keeping each other company and causing mischief. Life's a bitch and both of you were too young to be taken so soon.
Rest in peace. |
Re: Screaming thread.
Okay, so yellow fever vaccination really causes fever. I am not so sure whether I am allergic to paracetamol or not since my throat itch lot right now.
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Re: Screaming thread.
I'm not yelling because I'm trying to be evil. I'm yelling because I'm in pain. I wish someone would know that.
I'm not even screaming anymore. I'm just crying silwntly something you easily ignore because you hate me and I want to go away so you'd be happier, but you also want to use me so I stay for that. Becsuse I would be responsible if things went badly due to me not being there when i should have been. I wojld feel guilty. This limbo is killing me. |
Re: Screaming thread.
Ooohhh wow I'm a failure. I hold myself back.
Between nightmares and dreams about C, I can't catch much of a break. and I am seriously considering walking into traffic rn |
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