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Re: Screaming thread.
I almost had it. I thought I had it but I lost it.
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Re: Screaming thread.
Take me home, please. This place isn't home. And life, how about you stop falling apart? Just stop it all.
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Re: Screaming thread.
I swear to God you will regret this. I will make sure you know you've BEEN wrong.
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Re: Screaming thread.
When you say you gave up on my sister, I feel like you gave up on me, or you will in the future. I mean you've already said you gave up on me, but sometimes I think you changed your mind. And you really have to watch what you say. Words hurt and you just don't care. When I try to speak to you, you don't want to liste. You're constatnly making fun of me, or telling me what say is invalid/ dismissing my feelings. Or you say I'm too philosophical when I'm just speaking. Maybe you only wanted 2 children out of 4 because you seem to only have enough love for two. If we're you're daughters you shouldn't give up on any of us but you did and it makes me sad. I don't like being the one pulling the relationship through, you're not even interested and I'm doing all the hard work to keep my relationship with my own father alive.
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Re: Screaming thread.
Here's an idea if you want me to stop defending myself, stop putting me in situations where I feel a need to defend myself. I don't understand why standing up for myself when I feel jumped on is somehow WRONG now, it used to be the other way around.
Get comfortable with ambiguity, you don't know me and I'm not divulging what I went through in a professional public forum; even if it is relevant because of how it would reflect on me. I was NEVER told that there was "one right way", I just failed a class after being told for 3 months that I did everything WRONG and then the (doc student) professor basically told me I don't belong in the profession. Which was COMPLETELY uncalled for. That kind of goes against what you're saying! If only you knew how wrong you are, some people are so f***ing IGNORANT! |
Re: Screaming thread.
I just wish I was better, somehow...
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Re: Screaming thread.
I wrote a LONG blog entry and then my computer messed up and I lost it.
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Re: Screaming thread.
No likes a fat fucking failure like me.....
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Re: Screaming thread.
Stop moaning and trying to get my attention. You should just come to terms with the fact that I don't fucking like you.
And, mind you, I usually love it when people try to befriend me. It's not like I'm Mr. Popular with loads of friends, social interaction is rare for me. I should appreciate your efforts. |
Re: Screaming thread.
I should be on my way home right now, but instead I'm stuck here an extra day and have class tomorrow for 6 HOURS STRAIGHT! Whose idea was THIS? and I get to do the same next week too. You have NO IDEA how much this SUCKS.
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Re: Screaming thread.
I'm so fucking fat, ugly, and disgusting.....
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Re: Screaming thread.
I'm so unwanted...
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Re: Screaming thread.
Why is someone always on my fucking case no matter what I bloody well do?!?!
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Re: Screaming thread.
Alone.
Everyone hates me. Urges are so intense right now. I really want to cut myself right now. |
Re: Screaming thread.
Taylor, shut the hell up, your life isn't that bad....
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Re: Screaming thread.
I can already see your reaction. You're gonna say Dad brainwashed or bullied me into wanting to move and how it's because I want to get back at you and Marcus for the airport fiasco and how you shouldn't be given chances because you're my mother, there's no reason for me to give you chances, you're perfect, I'm a bad kid, I always want this, that, and the other thing, what I have isn't good enough, and then you'll go into how I can't live without Alex and am I trying to get back at him for something and did something happen with him and I'm trying to put him through hell.
The real issue here? You're incompetent, your priorities are all fucked up, and I gave you a chance that you blew to hell and back. You never even recognized that I'd given you a chance, you'd just thought you'd won over him again.If you think I'm trying to get back at you for something because I would be a lot happier in my dad's house, there's some guilt there somewhere. |
Re: Screaming thread.
I just can't believe he did it. The guards must have made a mistake. There's no way he would try to kill a man. Not him. He's just not the type. I don't know...fuck it.
He...he didn't do it. He didn't shoot that fella last night. I know for sure that he didn't. He wouldn't. |
Re: Screaming thread.
You're gone now, and I hate to say it but I'm kind of glad you are. All I have to do is see you on weekends. After last night, I don't know anymore. So you let people make fun of your family and you go along with it; without even defending us. In fact, you side with the person! Thanks a lot.
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Re: Screaming thread.
Why am I so stupid? I can't do fuckibg anything right! How the hell coil I lose my iPod like that? Why can't j help him? I'm so fucking useless! I can't even stop gaining weight. It's pathetic.
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Re: Screaming thread.
I feel disgusting... I can't stay below that number for anything...
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Re: Screaming thread.
Woman. Could you lift your thumb up for just a little while? I. Can't. Fucking. Breathe.
I just want to make you proud but there's only one way to do that. |
Re: Screaming thread.
With everything I do for you, you're going to say crap like this? Leave me the hell alone, bitch. I'm tired and I don't feel like dealing with it.
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Re: Screaming thread.
I told you this s*** was going to BREAK me. You just don't get it do you. And YOU, You make me want to drop your f***ing class, but it would screw me over. Can't begin to explain how much I HATE you.
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Re: Screaming thread.
Lol fuck it. I'm just not going to go to college. There's no point anyway. I'll work at a grocery store. It's all the same.
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Re: Screaming thread.
Looks like you and your spot checking my arms for cuts are back. You won't see my legs though, thank God. I'm sure you'll find away to take away my only way to cope just because you don't like it.
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Re: Screaming thread.
I can feel myself start to stuff my feelings back inside. Maybe that's a good thing. I should probably tell you that I need help, and that I need to start therapy earlier than planned; before it's too late.
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Re: Screaming thread.
I want you to stop talking to me, but you're the only one that does, so I guess I'm just dependent on you again because even though you only care about me for selfish reasons, you're the only one who cares.
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Re: Screaming thread.
thanks for just going to bed, not helping me clean the whole fucking house. Now i'll be tired tomorrow, and the house will just get messed up again.
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Re: Screaming thread.
I'm going to die, aren't I? Not eighty years down the road, but soon. And if it's not some spiteful person who ends it, I'll probably end it myself, right?
There's this hole in my chest. It's tiny for now, but it's just waiting. Waiting for some big tragedy to tear itself open and rip me in two. Fuck I sound dramatic, but it's true. It scares me how much I need you. I don't want to tell you because I'm afraid of scaring you away. You're everything I never thought I would have. I don't want to die. Not really. |
Re: Screaming thread.
I'm fucking sick and tired of wearing long sleeves or sweaters in 90+ degree weather jesus fucking christ
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Re: Screaming thread.
"Ah right, there must have been a mistake" = No, i didn't get the wrong day, you said Monday at 5!
"Yes, I will be fine until tomorrow at 5" = No, i'm not fine, you don't realise what this is going to do. "Yes, you can come then instead" = I'll just rearrange everything for you. "Don't worry about it, i don't mind" = Thanks, now my housemate knows that I get seen by you's. "It's okay, i can wait til tomorrow, i'll be fine" = No, you get me to open up about 'that', change my appointment multiple times, then talk at me for 20 minutes about how i need to just get on with things. I am NOT fine, I am sick of just plodding along, I am fed up with humoring people. The worst part is, nothing is ever going to change! |
Re: Screaming thread.
I can't post anything on here without getting bitched at it. If you hate this website so much, get off.
I don't even see the point of posting on here, no one sees it or cares anyway. This whole we're-too-poor-to-eat thing is getting fucking old. I can't eat chips and salsa and ramen forever, bitch. I don't see the point of wanting to go to college. What was I thinking, that my fucking mom or dad would pay for it? I'm such a fucking idiot. I need to stop eating and thinking and breathing and getting my hopes up and even trying to make my life better because I'm just stuck and I'm gonna be stuck no matter what I do. It's pointless. I'm done. |
Re: Screaming thread.
It doesn't seem to matter how long I work or how much I manage to do in one day, the workload never seems to get any lighter. I knew it was going to be bad but this is RIDICULOUS! and if I fail the exam at the end of it all because I never had time to study, or I fail a class because I didn't have time to study enough then I put myself through this hell for NOTHING!
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Re: Screaming thread.
I kind of don't even want to go to this job interview anymore.
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Re: Screaming thread.
You are supposed to be my best friend and you are always supposed to be there for me, but now I have to bother you before you'll even say hi. I don't understand. I needed you.
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Re: Screaming thread.
Quote:
I hate love and I hate myself. But really Taylor. Shut up. No one cares. |
Re: Screaming thread.
No one likes me.
Everyone hates me. Nobody wants me around anymore. |
Re: Screaming thread.
Can't even with you and your goddamn laziness. God forbid you have to get your own self up for work, make your own lunch, or wash your own damn car. You'd be in a big fucking hole without us, but you're a narcissistic asshole that thinks everything outside of your own reflection is disgusting and beneath you, so in your head it's us who need you. Spare me.
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Re: Screaming thread.
Can't even with you and your goddamn laziness. God forbid you have to get your own self up for work, make your own lunch, or wash your own damn car. You'd be in a big fucking hole without us, but you're a narcissistic asshole that thinks everything outside of your own reflection is disgusting and beneath you, so in your head it's us who need you. Spare me.
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Re: Screaming thread.
I don't hate you, I just dont want to have anything to do with you because you are an abusive jerk who sexually assaulted me multiple times and broke my trust.
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