Re: Screaming thread.
 

I can't handle this. It's nearly the last two weeks of the semester, but that means it's about to be two weeks of hell, and I just don't have the energy (mentally, emotionally, physically, and otherwise) to pull through this anymore. I'm keeping myself away from caffeine so I can take full advantage of it to study for finals because there's no other way to get through this. Healthy people live off of caffeine. I'm not like them, so how can I NOT live off of caffeine? I really need caffeine now to get through this week, but I'll need it more later, and it's too early to build a tolerance because last time, it stopped working. But I can't keep going anymore, and there's still so much left to do. My mind can't take it. My body can't take it. No one understands. My parents are expecting a 4.0 again because I've pulled it off before, but it is 100% impossible to get an A in one of my classes, and I'll be lucky to get a B, but I'd rather die trying than give up. Friends have one tough semester, and say they admire me for doing this to myself semester after semester, but they shouldn't. I've started telling them not to do this to themselves, not to be like me. Because it destroys you. If you can find that one hour in your day for free time, please keep taking it. I wish I could. Don't do to yourself what I'm doing to myself.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Re: Screaming thread.
 

I accepted a Greek coffee. Arggh it was so strong I nearly chucked up O__O

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Watch me get it and fail because I'm stuck with jerks.

No one has faith in my ability to do this.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Re: Screaming thread.
 

What guy in their right mind would want to be with a girl like me? I'm ugly, fat, a failure, a burden, a nuisance, worthless, useless, and worth more dead than alive. There is no feeling worser than the feeling I got when I overheard the guy I had a crush say that all girls at this college are ugly and fat. Even though this incident happened when I was in college, I still think about it all the time.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

I'm wishing I could make myself believe I was worth something.

I wish I could believe that I mattered.

I want to give up on things and just live the way I have but I want more at the same time.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Re: Screaming thread.
 

I am struggling so much that my support and advice is lacking. Maybe I should just disappear.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

My parents are fighting tonight, what's happening to them?

Re: Screaming thread.
 

If I hang out with friend's I probably won't finish my book. I think I'll go anyway since I have to sit around a bit tomorrow anyway.

Something I ordered was slightly disappointing and I feel like I wasted my money. Of course, I can't get refunds.

Something I have coming in the mail isn't coming till Saturday and I hate my dad and his partner seeing me get packages. My dad doesn't care but sometimes I feel like my dad's partner judges me. It only bothers me this time because I technically don't have the money that I spent. I don't feel like explaining that I had a minor shopping spree this month (not so minor) and used my credit card. It makes me embarrassed.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Even when I'm right, I'm always wrong and I'm the bad person. Even when the other person is clearly in the wrong, I'm always in the wrong and I'm the bad person.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Re: Screaming thread.
 

What's the point

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Thanks for reminding me of how much of a failure I am. I will never be good enough for anything.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Not sure how I feel about all of this. It doesn't seem fair

Re: Screaming thread.
 

I hate the fact that I always feel bad because of you.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

I seem to have a really bad dissociative episode once a year. I don't think it's around the same time but it could be. I wonder if there is a trigger?

Re: Screaming thread.
 

I wish I can have just one day where something doesn't go wrong.....

Re: Screaming thread.
 

I swear to god I saw you in the s quadrant, Texas the 28th..you were standing right there, with the flag, right in front of me...
I know you'll probably never see this but I want you to know that I am so proud. I miss you, more than anything. And I'll still love you, no matter what you do...

-your clc

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Why are you talking to me about this? She's the one that gave me the binder. If you should be upset with anyone it's her. It's not my fault she gave it to me without asking for permission and I shouldn't get blamed for it.

Speaking of which, you're really fucking awful at communicating between people. First the party thing, then the OTHER party thing, and now the binder. You've really got to make sure you're talking to everyone before you do stuff/make plans with people.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

I can't take living in this house anymore. I would rather die than keep living in this household.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Always second best

Re: Screaming thread.
 

ARGH I really don't want to go to my singing lesson and I hate it that people just heard me sing because i am honestly not good so i want to kill them then me

Re: Screaming thread.
 

I hate when conversations repeat in my head and I realize how stupid someone was and I get angry.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

I'm nervous and feel like a failure

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Don't say you care when you really could careless what happens to me.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Anxiety is bad right now. Need to calm down.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Having thoughts again. Panicking.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.
I jyst want peace. Why are you so damn stupid? Why do you have to make everyone else miserable? Why can't you just fucking listen?! Even the dogs do that.
You know you shouldn't have come. He didn't even want to see you, and you ruined all the time he had. I can't believe how much you disgust me.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Re: Screaming thread.
 

My anxiety is bad again. Just need to get through tomorrow

Re: Screaming thread.
 

I woke up to find my phone open to a new thread about his physical abuse and anger issues. Getting really close to contacting the police.
I just want to go home, where ever that is.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

I'm not okay today

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Re: Screaming thread.