TeenHelp - Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.

I don't know if fantasy has kept me alive, because books and games have always been an escape, or if it has ruined me, because through fantasy I know how boring my life in this world is. Had it not been my for my parents and family, I would be long dead. I know it may sound really ungrateful, but sometimes I prefer they just... weren't there. Not dead. Just not there. So that I could peacefully fade away.

Odyne

December 30th 2018 11:55 AM

Re: Screaming thread.

Why did you move in next to us?!

Celyn

December 30th 2018 01:40 PM

Re: Screaming thread.

Cold, shivery, cramps, feel sick. Don't know what I'm doing.

DeletedAccount69

December 30th 2018 03:53 PM

Re: Screaming thread.

I am struggling this morning.

Starseeker

December 30th 2018 06:47 PM

Re: Screaming thread.

I want to cry. I don't know why I'm doing anything, I don't even know what I'm doing. I want to cry. I want to die!!!

Tigereyes

December 31st 2018 02:51 AM

Re: Screaming thread.

I really need to be alone but I also need a friend even more..

Tigereyes

December 31st 2018 01:28 PM

Re: Screaming thread.

Why is suffering always a fucking competition>?????? I want to fucking die if it's only going to get even worse so stop fucking saying that or I might actually go through with it.

Tigereyes

December 31st 2018 05:16 PM

Re: Screaming thread.

How do you stick with recovery when sobriety is worse than relapse?

Starseeker

January 1st 2019 07:20 PM

Re: Screaming thread.

I have to go to school tomorrow. Seems like a nightmare. I feel my mind fighting to stay home, but it's as if kept in a cage of my body, which won't listen. My body will go and my mind will have to suffer. How horrible.

DeletedAccount69

January 2nd 2019 02:12 AM

Re: Screaming thread.

I can't handle this anxiety!!!

Kate*

January 2nd 2019 03:17 AM

Re: Screaming thread.

I can't remember if I took it or not, but I've only forgotten one other time and it didn't do anything to me. Better safe than sorry.

DeletedAccount69

January 2nd 2019 01:38 PM

Re: Screaming thread.

I'm struggling so much today.

Starseeker

January 3rd 2019 03:38 PM

Re: Screaming thread.

..........

DeletedAccount69

January 4th 2019 02:04 AM

Re: Screaming thread.

I feel so anxious and I hate it!!

Starseeker

January 4th 2019 09:48 PM

Re: Screaming thread.

I'm so afraid of everything. Of life. Of what I should achieve but I'm not going to. Of other people, of being judged by no one but myself, of... the world, it seems, and the atrocious way it works.

Unless I could be one of those badass characters in books and games, who begin as gifted but defiant youth, live through countless adventures and learn wisdom from the wiser to become the wisest in the end, I am content with only following these characters' stories. But I want nothing more demanded from me and that's the fucking problem.

DeletedAccount69

January 5th 2019 04:08 AM

Re: Screaming thread.

I'm panicking

Starseeker

January 5th 2019 05:40 PM

Re: Screaming thread.

I'm going to an escape room tomorrow. As if this alone wasn't enough for me to freak out, it's gonna be a horror one, Jesus fucking Christ, what was I thinking when I agreed on that shit? I'm panicking so much now...

DeletedAccount106

January 6th 2019 12:42 AM

Re: Screaming thread.

Feeling like binge eating:(

DeletedAccount69

January 6th 2019 12:57 AM

Re: Screaming thread.

And the anxiety hits.

Omg I can\'t do this. I can\'t do this. I can\'t do this.

Tigereyes

January 6th 2019 02:26 AM

Re: Screaming thread.

I have next to no support. It\'s only going to keep getting worse. I see no hope for me. I\'ll never be okay again. I wish I had just killed myself already. It\'d be better for everyone if I had never been born because my failed efforts just hurt everyone I love. I\'m sorry.

DeletedAccount69

January 6th 2019 06:46 AM

Re: Screaming thread.

I feel like I don\'t matter.
I feel stupid.
I feel like I am terrible person.

Starseeker

January 6th 2019 07:02 PM

Re: Screaming thread.

school tomorrow. FUCKING AGAIN FUCKING NO

my Dad\'s a jerk

DeletedAccount106

January 6th 2019 11:15 PM

Re: Screaming thread.

Feeling like binge eating:(

MWF	January 7th 2019 07:04 PM

Re: Screaming thread.

How the hell am I supposed to get a job out of college if they all require prior experience? Thats why I need a job in the first place.

DeletedAccount69

January 7th 2019 10:15 PM

Re: Screaming thread.

All that anxiety for absolutely nothing.

Everglow.

January 7th 2019 11:31 PM

Re: Screaming thread.

Can\'t stop crying.

DeletedAccount69

January 8th 2019 06:14 PM

Re: Screaming thread.

I\'m so overwhelmed.

Starseeker

January 9th 2019 12:54 PM

Re: Screaming thread.

ive been told high school\'s supposed to be the best time of my life, well fuck no it\'s like the worst so what are the other parts gonna be like? not sure if i wanna check that myself to be honest

DeletedAccount69

January 9th 2019 06:11 PM

Re: Screaming thread.

I screwed up. Hopefully I don\'t get fired for this.

Everything makes me worried I\'m gonna get fired but this worries me most.

Second guessing that job I applied for. I said I wouldn\'t like it cause I\'d be on graveyard shift etc but I think I\'m going to go for it and if I get an interview I\'m going to ask all my questions.

What shifts are available
What is expected of us on the job

It\'s more money any might not be as stressful as this. It might be worse but it can\'t hurt to go for it can it?

Kate*

January 10th 2019 01:18 AM

Re: Screaming thread.

I feel like I should take extra hours, especially now that it\'s so slow, but the times you want me, I don\'t want. I would much rather do a short shift on my day off than extend a 5 to an 8, especially on a weekend I know I don\'t have to, but I kind of do. I really wish you had offered it next week when you cut me by a whole day. I really have to think about this.

DeletedAccount69

January 10th 2019 04:08 AM

Re: Screaming thread.

I feel like I am going to break

DeletedAccount69

January 10th 2019 02:50 PM

Re: Screaming thread.

I wish I could have called in sick today but it would have made tomorrow worse.

Starseeker

January 10th 2019 05:02 PM

Re: Screaming thread.

why is my father destroying my life?

DeletedAccount69

January 10th 2019 07:31 PM

Re: Screaming thread.

I shouldn\'t have come in today.

Tigereyes

January 10th 2019 10:20 PM

Re: Screaming thread.

Why the fuck am I still alive? Why can\'t I just die already?

Kate*

January 11th 2019 03:53 AM

Re: Screaming thread.

The more I think about 2 extra hours at work tomorrow, the less I want to do them. It\'s not a weekend, it\'s not 3, and this is our slowest time. Hopefully, tacking one on at the beginning and one at the end will help it not be so bad and if she is there, she should be gone and I\'ll have instructions. I hate needing overrides, but I would\'ve needed them anyway. And YES this was manager approved. He said if I waned to come in early either tomorrow or Saturday, "feel free" so I\'m coming in an hour early and leaving an hour late. But I swear, if you give me any hassle or I end up bored, I won\'t help you out again.

DeletedAccount69

January 11th 2019 04:07 AM

Re: Screaming thread.

I am tempted to ditch the pot luck tomorrow.

I will bring the items I said I would and then just leave and go sit in my car. These pot lucks throw me off because I don\'t get to de-stress for an hour. I have to interact and do stuff I have no desire to do.

Tigereyes

January 11th 2019 11:45 PM

Re: Screaming thread.

In six months, I will either have to live with abuse again or be homeless.. can\'t fucking wait.

DeletedAccount40

January 12th 2019 08:40 PM

Re: Screaming thread.

So tired of being me. I wish I can press reset.

DeletedAccount69

January 12th 2019 10:53 PM

Re: Screaming thread.

Please let the Xanax kick in so I can go out tomorrow