Re: Screaming thread.
 

Re: Screaming thread.
 

I don't want to go to work but I can't call in.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Re: Screaming thread.
 

I wish I could make this dread and anxiety disappear.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

I'm already struggling with work and it's only 830

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Fatigue is the worst it's been in half a year but I can't sleep. Not that sleep would fix it, but sleep deprivation doesn't help either.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Everyone is getting job offers except me.. they've all barely spent any time or effort applying. They don't have tens of thousands of dollars in student loan debt. they don't need to move out of an abusive house. But things just don't work out for me apparently. I'm about done. If I don't get the offer after my only second interview, I'm probably going to give up.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

I don't feel like I can keep going. Interview next week and I'm nervous I'll screw it up.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Re: Screaming thread.
 

I'm ready for this to end. One way or another. I need out of this hell.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Re: Screaming thread.
 

I am going to panic all week long about this interview and then what? Panic until I get the results and then freak out when I don't get it? Everyone is jinxing me by saying I'll get it.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

No amount of caffeine works anymore. Just reduces withdrawals. But it doesn't even stop withdrawals anymore.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

I can't do this

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Re: Screaming thread.
 

The only thing worse than a phone interview or an exam is a phone interview with exam type questions during it. Need a ton of benzos, but don't have access.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

I'm struggling and my head hurts a ton

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Please let it work out.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Fuck everything. Contemplated suicide today. I can't live in this house with my parents and go to work with them and have them hovering over me constantly as I try to get a job (and in general). Unfortunately, I have no choice until I get a decent job. And I can't get a job because my mental and physical health have gotten so bad from living with my parents and not having an actual job.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

You're impossible.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

That's the one thing I'll argue with you about. I try not to engage. I post what I want and when you respond with ignorance I ignore it. However, when you victim blame and shame and basically accuse rape survivors of lying... I'll fight you on that because that's exactly what I dealt with.

I was a liar. My family was full of losers so obviously it couldn't be true... Yeah I need to stop being your friend but it's so damn hard.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

I have a phone interview test thing that I feel super underqualified for. I can't do phone interviews or tests. It's in less than 3.5 hours. I don't have anything to treat my anxiety and my parents make fun of me for anxiety because most mental illnesses don't exist in their minds so to them I'm just overreacting and being immature. They keep trying to take videos/pictures of my panic attacks to show me "how stupid I look" to "fix my unreasonable behavior." And you guessed it, the anxiety has only gotten even worse. So they keep doing that and yelling at me more, which makes me even more anxious. No shit.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Well, I screwed that up. So much for a new job. Nnow I just wait for them to send out the form "We are sorry but you didn't get it". I want to die.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Apparently I can't do anything or go anywhere without being interrogated by my parents. I'm 23... please stop.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

I wonder how it would feel to cut the hell out of my body. Might make some of the anxiety disappear.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

This desire to end my life is too intense

Re: Screaming thread.
 

I'm losing hope. Have to make plans for moving back into the house because the other lease ends in 3 weeks. I can't get another apartment because I still don't have a job. It's too late..

I can't deal with my parents going through all my stuff again with no cause to do so. But I doubt I can afford to rent a second storage unit. I don't even want to rent the first, and my parents will have access to that one.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Re: Screaming thread.
 

It's nearing the date.. and everything just constantly keeps getting worse with no hope of ever getting even slightly better. I've waited long enough. I'm done.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Re: Screaming thread.
 

It's another work week. This week will be shorter than others but I'd prefer not having to deal with work at all tbh.

I feel exceptionally suicidal

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Yes, there are moments I feel okay, even good, but that doesn't take away the pain and suffering I feel the rest of the time.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

It's not fucking fair! I want to be happy for you, but I'm jealous that you get the easy way out when I'm suffering so much alone because you won't support me.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

I feel like all I want is to die. I know why I'm feeling this way. I just wish I could enjoy my week. I'm taking a vacation and the way I'm feeling... It'll be hard to enjoy.