Re: Screaming thread.
 

Okay, sure, that’s cool. Walk out of the room while I’m talking to you. Obviously my attempts at human connection fail and nothing I have to say is important.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

I want to die. I don't want to stay at work but I can't go home because I need to try and catch up. Need to complete a certain amount of things before I'm caught up and I doubt I'll get it all done today but maybe by tomorrow

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Starting this day with fatigue level 8-9. I have so much to do, but I can't afford the time to rest. Not to mention, I'll get yelled at by my parents for hurting them by being lazy. They'll say to just have caffeine. As if that does't cause pain and other symptoms. Caffeine won't work anymore anyway. It's the only way to fake normal energy, but it only works short term.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

What's the point of giving life any chances when all that happens is more tragic?!
God fucking... damnit!

Re: Screaming thread.
 

I hate my anxiety. I am trying to manage it but it's a difficult thing to do.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

My anxiety is so bad I want to fucking die!!

I should feel confident but I mostly just feel like something will go wrong and I won't get it.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

No clue how I will find the energy to move and clean the apartment with minimal help all this weekend. Not to mention, someone apparently left it worse than when I was last there, but I don't know how much worse. Could really use uppers.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

I'm stressed

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Re: Screaming thread.
 

This weekend was absolute hell, and I feel like I was run over by a truck. Phone interview this morning (probably?) That I'm not ready for, and I'm already too anxious to focus. I need to rest. Nope.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

I'm not the greatest person and it shows

Re: Screaming thread.
 

I'm really losing hope fast. Not that I had much to begin with.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

I have the desire to die. I hate myself. I hate who I am. I hate how I am. If I died I wouldn't have to feel this way.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Re: Screaming thread.
 

If they could notify me of the interview results that would be fucking awesome. I know it's going to be this week sometime but it would have been great if it'd been today.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

No more...

Re: Screaming thread.
 

I'm going to kill myself.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

I'm not going to be able to kill myself because it will destroy D and he's already struggling a lot. I want to be selfish but I can't

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Re: Screaming thread.
 

My anxiety is making me so miserable.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Fuck that bullshit. I'm not allowed to be exhausted after ANOTHER 12 hour day after 2 weekends of moving out of the apartment and cleaning the damn thing mostly myself with over full time hours monday through friday both weeks before? AND sleep deprivation? And a tonof other shit? AND no fucking support? I even tried to hide it from you, and you have no clue how horribly dependant on caffeine with protentiators I am. But it's all about who jas it worse to you. Fucking leave me alone. I can't wait to move out. If I'm alive long enough to get that chance. Bet that would shock you too. Even though it's so fucking obvious. Like no shit, of course I've been suicidal. Totally understandable. But that kind of self-validation I've struggled so hard to find is a huge part of the problem.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Re: Screaming thread.
 

I feel overwhelmingly anxious

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Anxiety woke me up early

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Re: Screaming thread.
 

My head hurts

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Just shut up for a minute!

Re: Screaming thread.
 

My head is killing me.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

This migraine is killer. On top of everything else.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

I don't know how to think rationally right now. I am worried the job will fall through. I did this last year too. I signed paperwork. It's a done deal but I am still worried.


I am nuts

Re: Screaming thread.
 

I didn't get to sleep in like I was hoping

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Tried something new to improve my shitty life and failed. So now I want to die even more.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Re: Screaming thread.
 

I have a terrible headache and I know I shouldn't cancel my neurology appointment but I also don't want to miss work on my first few weeks

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Well I fucked up. Maybe she didn't notice

Re: Screaming thread.
 

I've been up since 445 and it kind of sucks

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Feeling worse every day. My body can't keep up. Doesn't matter how hard I try or how much caffeine I take. Nothing works. But clearly I'm faking my symptoms because I'm not quite sick enough (at least not with dangerous complications that require surgery) to be in the hospital right now.

Re: Screaming thread.
 

Extreme anxiety hit. Extreme anxiety. I knew something was going to go wrong. Without the child development I have 22 units of soc/psy. I am just worrying over nothing