TeenHelp - Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.

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- - Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread. (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f31-why-me/t115887-screaming-thread/)

Re: Screaming thread.

I hate this lack of motivation.

Re: Screaming thread.

I wonder if anyone would care or notice if I died.
Every single person would be better off without me

Re: Screaming thread.

[FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""][FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""][FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""]I don’t want to work. I don’t want a career. I don’t want to sell my soul for money, sacrifice my life, or waste good years that I’ll never get back. I don’t want to be exploited or just some cog in someone else’s machine. I don’t even want to be the machine. I don’t want to work. I don’t think any kind of work will give me any great meaning in my life. It's foolish that society equates work with worth, success, and fulfillment. People are praised for learning “work skills” and “career building” as if that’s the be-all-end all of a good and prosperities life. To me, it isn’t. It’s wasting away in some office cubicle punching the same numbers, going into the same building selling the same things, pumping out the same art over and over again. That’s not how I want to live and that’s not the air I want to breathe. I don’t want the pressure of trying to stay relevant and not get fired. I don’t want my entire life and entire identity tied to what I do to survive. I don’t want to work. I don’t want to feed this toxic system and culture that’s so ingrained in our society. And yet, I still feel like a POS for it all. For not doing anything or not changing the world when I know I can. For just sitting on my behind all day and feeling sorry for myself. I want to do something but I can’t because when I try, all I think is “oh maybe I can do this for work.” Then it scares me because it’s work and it’s no longer for me, it’s for a profit. Even the dreams I thought I had, the work I thought I’d be happy doing, I don’t want it anymore. Because it’s work. Because it’s something I have to do. It sickens me knowing I have to if I want to stay alive. If I work, if I sell my soul, I waste my time when I could be free. I really wish I didn’t feel this way. I wish I didn’t know so much. Dive so deep. I wish I just kept buying into the myth I was sold all my life. I happier then. I don’t know anymore. At this point I don’t want to be anything, I just want to be.[/size][/color][/font][/size][/color][/font][/size][/color][/font]

Re: Screaming thread.

I wish I had more satisfaction at my job.

Re: Screaming thread.

So much for not craving things. And my only option is either crackers I hate, or a giant plain bagel. I meant to ask for healthier things I could nibble on for when this happened.

Re: Screaming thread.

Sigh. I knew it was going to happen. I said to my friend last night it was going to happen. As soon as I settle into starting to do some writing. SARAH SARAH SARAH. I talk to you every day. I give you loads of attention. My door is closed. Can't you give me some peace for ONE day.

Re: Screaming thread.

This year is starting off just as crappy as the last. I don't even know what to say.

Re: Screaming thread.

I really hope it's not what I think it is.

Re: Screaming thread.

This situation is hopeless

Re: Screaming thread.

I hate being this anxious.

Re: Screaming thread.

I need some sort of breakthrough here or else I'm going to be stuck where I am forever.

Re: Screaming thread.

I wish things would clean itself.

Re: Screaming thread.

I want to die... again

Re: Screaming thread.

"I wasn't looking for or expecting this." "I never would've thought of doing this, but I absolutely love it."

I feel like this will never be me. Nothing is ever going to "fall into my lap" or just happen to work out. That everything has always been, and always will be a fight for me, and I hate that.

Re: Screaming thread.

I wish I wasn't so busy. I thought 2021 would be a calmer year for me.

Re: Screaming thread.

I just want to not feel like this anymore.

Re: Screaming thread.

Julie and I feel like hell on earth

Re: Screaming thread.

I wish things would sort itself out.

Re: Screaming thread.

I feel like a failure and I don't know why

Re: Screaming thread.

I hope it isn't what I think it is.

Re: Screaming thread.

I feel sick right now.

Re: Screaming thread.

I really wish my life wouldn't be this busy.

Re: Screaming thread.

I just want a break.

Re: Screaming thread.

The eating disorder is screaming

Re: Screaming thread.

I just want someone to give me a chance.

Re: Screaming thread.

I hope you're not disappearing again, but either way, I'll be here when you're ready to come back.

Starting to worry, but he'll work through it like always and he has her to help him. Plus, they're moving next week, so it could just be that.

Re: Screaming thread.

Julie says we've got 'covid insomnia'.

How I wish it could all be over.

Re: Screaming thread.

[FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""]Your name leaves such a bitter taste in my mouth and takes up so much space in my mind.[/size][/color][/font]

Re: Screaming thread.

I wish I was in a different position.

Re: Screaming thread.

My stalker is back. Let's hope they don't meet me on a dark night. For their sake.

Re: Screaming thread.

I wish my life wasn't so busy. I just want one week to catch up.

Re: Screaming thread.

Who the fuck is calling our landline at 4:30 AM?! Unless there is a life or death emergency you do NOT do that at this time. EVER!

Re: Screaming thread.

I wanna die. I hate every day of this life

Re: Screaming thread.

Did I have a panic attack just now or is it something worse? Can't work out if my head feels scrambled because of that or if I have something wrong with me.

Re: Screaming thread.

Still feeling zoned out of life. So tired.

Re: Screaming thread.

When you're lucky you only lost 600 bucks gambling. Fuck the stock market.

Re: Screaming thread.

I wish it wasn't this hard.