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Re: Screaming thread.
My head hurts, another stress headache, I think. >.< I feel a panic attack coming on.
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Re: Screaming thread.
The only time in the world I've hated my body for being too thin.
There was a blood drive at my school and I wanted to donate but I don't weigh enough. Fantastic. I was really excited to do it, too... One thing I could say I did and be proud of... and of course that had to happen. Just can't be satisfied with my body in any way whatsoever, can I? :( |
Re: Screaming thread.
Well thats nice to know that you just really don't care, thanks. all my friends but one are becoming assholes.
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Re: Screaming thread.
You can't control others actions and you certainly can't make someone love you. Move on, live your life, and don't spend your time waiting on someone who may never show up.
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Re: Screaming thread.
I know what the problem is, but it may not be fixable in time to pass, if it's fixable at all. I'm not doing this s*** again so it still feels like the world is falling apart
I was MEANT to be here except for this, but this seems to be everything, nobody knows how to fix it, and if I don't do it within 3 weeks my dream career goes out the window and I've wasted the last 2 years believing that I could really succeed at something that was just never meant to be. |
Re: Screaming thread.
so you force me to go to some group support thing, to make me better? I don't want to go... It shouldn't be your choice... It's suppose to be mine, like you said. And I say no... And you guys just FORCE me to go?!?!?! YOU SAID IT WAS MY CHOICE!!
You just expect me not to get pissed, because I hide my emotions from all y'all!!! When it shows you freak out and say I'm not "safe" to be honest I'm never safe nor ever will... I just want to be gone is that so hard to ask? |
Re: Screaming thread.
Well, that's kinda worrying...
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Re: Screaming thread.
Why can't she just leave me the hell alone?
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Re: Screaming thread.
I don't even have words for this anymore. I JUST CAN'T I'm not strong enough to do this again and it's taking all the energy I have just to stay safe. I guess I was right when I said that I can never have anything that I want, I will always come as close as you can possibly get despite wanting, working, and believing, only to have the ground crumble under my feet as the world comes crashing down.
Good news: I think I know what what's been "wrong" my whole life Bad news: It's going to cost me everything that I want and almost had |
Re: Screaming thread.
I wore a damned bloody blister on the palm of my hand.
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Re: Screaming thread.
I know you read what I post on this forum, and though I detest family nosiness, want to tell you that the tobacco I smoke is entirely is paid for out of my own pocket. You have no goddamn right telling ME not to smoke when YOU puff away on a joint. Yeah, I know your secret ways. Can even smell the stuff on your clothes. So don't come the aggroshit with me at home, trying to shame me in front my sibs. You don't tell me what to do - not now, not any time. You're not my mother and you're most certainly not my CPO and have charge of me. So Sod Off. :mad:
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Re: Screaming thread.
I hate taking my meds!
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Re: Screaming thread.
I know you only said that because you have to.
There are no "diagnostic criteria" for this it's made based on history and symptomatology and EVERY quirk I've had my entire life is explained by it who the hell cares how I figured it out?!?! I think it means one of 4 things: 1. You're telling me to withdraw without saying it 2. You're telling me that you're giving up on me 3. You're telling me that my dream just fell apart 4. You're telling me I'm dismissed for an ethics violation (I really don't think this is it because I'd like to believe that you have enough respect for me to do that in person) |
Re: Screaming thread.
I have just told my close protection officer Mark all you have written. All. I am very, very angry and distrust you.
[Edit by Adam the Fish] Take this as your only warning, you bastard. I am not frightened of you. I am far tougher than you can possibly imagine. :mad: |
Re: Screaming thread.
You can't salvage your image. You can't. I hate you.
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Re: Screaming thread.
So fucking triggered and it's all because of you. for calling me the things you did and giving me the looks that tell me you want me to die. don't worry i want that for myself as well.
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Re: Screaming thread.
Dad I'm well aware that it is past midnight but I can not sleep due to your yelling and druken rage..I want to cut. I want to die. I don't need to you calling me names and telling me I deserve to be dead so please shut up. I haven't slept more then a couple hours the last couple of days.
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Re: Screaming thread.
Knowing full well the farm needs as much help as possible, you fly off to Monaco and leave me and my sisters to run it. You're an irresponsible, self-centred lousy mother. :mad:
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Re: Screaming thread.
I hate myself and I'm so done. I'm afraid. I just need things to be over.
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Re: Screaming thread.
I can't believe I forgot it again! I'm an idiot!
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Re: Screaming thread.
I feel so alone.
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Re: Screaming thread.
I can not even begin to articulate to you how badly I DO NOT want to do this stupid critique/paper! If this possible diagnosis is correct my entire life could fall apart and I'm forced to sit here and write a paper where I try to explain everything that I do wrong that could be explained by a disorder that I MIGHT have without saying that because you already think I've diagnosed myself or asked you to do it and violated ethics in the process when I did neither. What do you want to bet I get a failing grade on this no matter what?
And Bonus: Even if I get this diagnosis officially, it doesn't change a damn thing! I'm still in the same mess I'm in now, it just makes sense why. They can't dismiss me for a disability, but if said disability prevents me from ethical and responsible practice in this profession (regardless of my degree of control over it) they have an obligation to protect the public. And as much as I understand that, you have NO IDEA how much that is going to hurt. |
Re: Screaming thread.
We can only help you if you ask for it. So ask. You don't have to stand by yourself anymore. Open up for once; let us in.
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Re: Screaming thread.
Broke my promise. I hate myself sometimes.
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Re: Screaming thread.
Is this all I can do? Pathetic.
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Re: Screaming thread.
It's not real because it's not in the DSM, "but if it ever becomes real, you probably have it" REALLY DUDE?! If I have it I will have it regardless of where it is or isn't listed. The symptoms and struggles won't change, your belief in them will along with my ability to get HELP that I've probably deserved for my entire education!
At least I got some warning, but you always pick the WORST times for him to show up! I have midterms on Thursday and Monday and then another week and THEN Spring break. Why couldn't you time it for when I'M NOT HERE?!?! and he is the most disgusting person and I HATE IT when he's here. This should be the last time though because you aren't staying here next semester THANK GOD!!!! |
Re: Screaming thread.
If you want someone to treat you like an adult, start acting like one.
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Re: Screaming thread.
Can I have peace for five minutes today?
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Please, stop yelling at me. I'm doing the best I can.
No the Prozac isn't helping, I wish it were, but it's not. I JUST WANT ANSWERS! I WANT YOU TO TELL ME WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY MIND SO I CAN TRY TO FIX AND SO THAT I CAN NOT BE JUST A CRAZY GIRL. AND I WANT A FRIEND, NOT A THERAPIST. I want to ask you about your scars, but I' afraid you'll think I think you're broken. But that's not it, I really just want to talk to someone who might be a little like me. I want to know how you survived. |
Re: Screaming thread.
I haven't gotten anywhere with this! I try and try and where do I get? Nowhere.
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Re: Screaming thread.
I need to have a serious discussion with who ever created our calendar. I have one assignment and a midterm this week, then a midterm Monday followed by a session sandwiched between 2 more classes and then FINALLY Spring Break!
The problem is that I burned out 3 weeks ago and have no motivation to do any of this crap. It doesn't help that I'm taking this midterm for the 4th fucking time after having my career threatened AGAIN. I am beyond DONE, but I'm not allowed to be. I just need some time to breathe. |
Re: Screaming thread.
I'm so tired. Not going to sleep well tonight. I'm scared and I feel weird.
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Re: Screaming thread.
The way you treat people is unbelievable. You'll learn eventually, or atleast I hope you will.
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Re: Screaming thread.
Thank you, for continually finding ways to make my life more miserable than it already is.
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Re: Screaming thread.
If I have to hear her say that to me one more time I really will scream.
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Re: Screaming thread.
WHY DAMMIT WHY!!!! I THOUGHT YOU WERE FUCKING DIFFERENT! BUT YOU'RE NOT..YOU'RE JUST LIKE ANY OTHER MAN IN THIS WORLD...A CHEATING,BACK STABBING, CYBER WHORE BASTARD!!!! I FUCKING HATE YOU...AND I DON'T THINK I CAN EVEN FORGIVE YOU!!! YOU'VE HURT ME...I LOVED YOU...YOU WERE MY EVERYTHING...WE WERE GOING TO GET MARRIED! WHY DAMMIT..WHY'D YOU DO THIS TO US?! :'(:\'(
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Re: Screaming thread.
Dammit, it\'s MY life, not yours. For once, just once, let me live it the way I see fit.
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Re: Screaming thread.
What could you possibly want? I really don\'t want to call you and deal with whatever it is. Next time you leave somebody a voicemail please tell people what it\'s about so they don\'t freak out
For the millionth time, I know I was exposed to Chickenpox, I had Chickenpox just before I turned 3, but if you want to notify people that I got Shingles instead that would be awesome. I really hope I got shingles after being exposed to Chickenpox and that I did not give someone Chickenpox instead. |
Re: Screaming thread.
There are times I\'d just love to run the hell away from here...
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Re: Screaming thread.
so close to having a panic attack, can\'t handle this right now
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