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Re: Screaming thread.
Warning: Strong and excessive language
Hey, fuckheads, do you get the point of insurance? The point of insurance is to help pay my goddamn medical bills. I haven't needed to use you a single time this year, but when I go to the hospital I suddenly "don't qualify" for any assistance in covering my bills? What motherfucking bullshit is that? And now you want me reassessed for my IOP or else you won't pay for that, either? I got that assessment a week ago; do you really think my mental health state has miraculously turned around in one week? So, I have a novel idea: why don't you twatwaffles do what the fuck you're supposed to do and fucking PAY MY MEDICAL BILLS! Mkay? |
Re: Screaming thread.
Sometimes I wonder why I even got myself in this mess instead of thinking first and then making a decision. Why was I too quick to respond? Truth is, I'm still too scared and the only way to get out is to run away to a place that you will never find me. I still got time....but I'm sure you will find me again no matter where I go. Never-ending cycle of life. Ugh.
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Re: Screaming thread.
Suicidal again...
*Sighs* Well, I got nothing positive to look forward to in life. Not sure how I'm gonna keep going, I think I've been cut short of miracles. Guess I should just... tear the skin off from my arm. I really wanna... although I'm luckily just too numb to do it... |
Re: Screaming thread.
I can't do this.
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Re: Screaming thread.
I fuck up everything, no wonder why everyone leaves.
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Re: Screaming thread.
I’m never good enough!
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Re: Screaming thread.
Never enough, never good enough, always second place... And when this anxiety attacks stop ugh...
Calm down, calm down, calm down... |
Re: Screaming thread.
I can't hold things together anymore and I'm slowly giving up... :'(
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Re: Screaming thread.
I'm in such a dark place now...
I fucked up. |
Re: Screaming thread.
Come on guys, this is a screaming thread, get mad and let your anger out, and don't stew in your own sadness. Like this:
Fuck you Melaina! Stupid bitch, leadin me on, what the fuck happened to being "study buddies"?! And Katie! I thought we were gonna hang out tonight?! You know how much I hate my fucking school, whyd you make a promise you wouldn't even attempt to keep?! |
Re: Screaming thread.
I need you now, more than ever.
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Re: Screaming thread.
Just fucking... great.
Can I just go a day without wanting to end my fucking life?!! |
Re: Screaming thread.
We get it. You're not happy he's having to see his dad. Frankly, none of us are - especially not my fiancee who happens to be his mum. We know the relationship was abusive. We've been over this a dozen fucking times. Do you really think taking out how you feel on us is going to make it any fucking better? You are making my fiancee, your own daughter, feel like a total pile of crap over something (a) she's not happy about herself and (b) she can do nothing to stop anyway. How is that helping the situation?
And blanking me the majority of the day when I'm trying to help keep him occupied after having to see his dad - yeah, that was really helpful too. NOT. Get a new coping mechanism and stop treating us all like shit. |
Re: Screaming thread.
That was none of your business, not to mention COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT I will do whatever I have to do to have my dignity and rights respected.
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Re: Screaming thread.
Your antics are pathetic. You've driven off one daughter and you are doing a good job of pushing away the second one. I can't do this anymore. For years I've given you chances, but I can't put up with this. I may have my bad habits, but at least I work hard to overcome my obstacles. You won't even admit that you have a problem, and you never will, not unless everyone and everything left you. I'm not sure whether I am angrier that you won't ever realize the truth or if I pity you and how sad you must feel to live like this.
Either way, keep going, mom. I may live in your house, but each day I distance myself from you further. |
Re: Screaming thread.
So tired of being ill all the damn time..can't sleep or work or study when I'm constantly coughing and struggling to breathe.
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Re: Screaming thread.
You left. how am I supposed to look men in the eye? you left. abandoned me. why me? why did she keep me when you cant? Cant I just let it go?
Why is my heart so tight. So guarded... You left... he replaced you... and he was a convincing liar. he planted this realization inside me... he made me hate every sound I made. he made me hate my reflection, my flesh... He destroyed her. until she realized and left. She left the one who told me the truth. She made me a lonely child. I am alone. always alone. Im choking... why did you leave? I don't want you back... don't try to fix this.. just stay gone.. Now youre... "replaced.." He says he is more of a father than what you ever could be. I hate him. My father image is ruined. it always will be. I want to hate... and let the rage that has boiled over the years explode. Why me? Now here I sit.. My only friend the blade that I keep in my movie case... I want to cut deeper... but I cant be that selfish... I cant make my mother pay for my funeral or a trip to the hospital... why me? I cant say anything... I laugh and smile and pretend... I need this release... I have nothing else... I need to see the few small dot of blood I manage to get to feel okay. Why me? Why is it me that every one tells their problems to..? I always listen.. no one listens.. no one wants to hear.. My heart will continue to stay full of pain. Im tired of this spiral downward.. Why me? |
Re: Screaming thread.
Now I'm thinking I should ask you just to be sure that I haven't heard because there was nothing and not because you think you sent something you didn't. This is why I don't send e-mail to faculty after 8PM. I'm going to ask him about it first.
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Re: Screaming thread.
urgh so sick of dealing with this shit
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Re: Screaming thread.
ghhjhjfhhjhjffghgfgh
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Re: Screaming thread.
Feel so fat, so ugly and worthless. I'm just pathetic.
Don't want to do this anymore. Don't want to be here anymore. Just want to leave. |
Re: Screaming thread.
Once again your influence in my life revolves around complaining about me and how I should be better than I am already. Not only you're not telling me anything I wouldn't know, but you're just being irritating. Please, stop being such a dickhead.
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Re: Screaming thread.
fucking done
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Re: Screaming thread.
cant say if more horny or longing for affection
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Re: Screaming thread.
I HATE how you keep forgetting things, can't hear ANYTHING anymore and how I have to keep nagging you to get things done by deadlines. You're retired, it's not like you have a ton of stuff that has to be done.
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Re: Screaming thread.
I CAN'T DO THIS ASSIGNMENT. I can't do it. I can't understand it. The whole class have been struggling with this for a week. I have 1150 words of pure shite and I have no idea where the other 900 will come from. I don't understand any of the material, I can't et what any of the articles are trying to explain, it's all completely over my head. ALL I have learnt from this is that a future in anything related to Cognitive Psychology is clearly not for me.
And honestly, it's impossible to stay interested in this because I think that we will NEVER be able to model consciousness, that as human beings there are some things that we have to accept that we are just not meant to know, and that we should quit all this arrogant behaviour and leave it. But obviously you can't add that to a psychological essay...unfortunately 'I CAN'T UNDERSTAND THIS' isn't an acceptable sentence either. FUCK you, ridiculous assignment. |
Re: Screaming thread.
I think I'm finally ready to tell someone this and due to the circumstances, I can''t. I don't want to scare you or end up there (which I REALLY don't think I would) This will also be the last session for at least 6 weeks, if not forever so I don't want to dump it on you and then disappear.
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Re: Screaming thread.
I give up with school, people and myself. I'm so tired of all this now, i just feel alone yet I have people around me. I am so so close to ending it all.
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Re: Screaming thread.
No reminder, REALLY?! I should probably call tomorrow before we leave then to make sure I'm still scheduled because that's never happened before and it's the only reason we're driving an hour each way. I'm hoping it's the time change
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Re: Screaming thread.
Why does he have to live with us?, im here, i came from florida to be with YOU! I left my family, i even dropped out to come see YOU!And you cant tell him to move out?!
What the fuck, why the fuck did i come? i wanted a relationship with you, a life with you, not you and Your fucking friend!!!... :mad: |
Re: Screaming thread.
You know, saying "what the fuck" when you see me crying doesn't exactly inspire me to be forthcoming about what's wrong. You don't exactly change my opinion on that when you say "that's bullshit" when I say nothing is wrong. I guess you think you're trying to be supportive, but maybe take a minute to think before you speak. Why would I want to talk to someone who asks me what the fuck is wrong?
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Re: Screaming thread.
If only someone had told me how it really worked before I got this far into it...
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Re: Screaming thread.
Why do I hate the thought of food? I can't stop starving myself...
I feel really scared right now for no reason whatsoever. Must be one of those nights where I get anxiety attacks and cry myself to sleep :'( |
Re: Screaming thread.
How the hell did I manage to sprain my neck, again! That\'s the third time, in the last 15 days D:
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Re: Screaming thread.
Why don\'t I ever get what I want? Why don\'t I get what I deserve? Why do you get it all? What separates you from me? What makes you so special? Why why why?
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Re: Screaming thread.
Damn! Every part of me hurts. How is a person supposed to survive with a sprained neck, a sprained ankle, a hurt knee and a swollen shoulder!
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Re: Screaming thread.
Why are you not fucking taking me seriously? I\'m not stupid. I GET that they probably won\'t find anything; that\'s why I don\'t want to fucking go. You fucking people always think it\'s goddamn anxiety. I KNOW what my anxiety attacks feel like! There is never, EVER any physical pain involved with them. So I don\'t get why you don\'t fucking listen to the person who has anxiety problems about their own anxiety.
And Christ on a cracker, I told you this only happens AFTER I SMOKE. This is not a PULLED MUSCLE. I was doing nothing strenuous at the time and I\'ve been getting these pains after smoking for months now. This time it\'s just not going away and that scares me. I don\'t want "nothing\'s wrong" to suddenly and irreversibly turn into "something is very wrong." I mean I\'m not saying I\'m going to have a heart attack, but I\'m telling you, something is off. Hopefully I\'m wrong. Hopefully nothing is wrong and it is a pulled muscle like you think it is. I really, really hope that\'s the case, because if there\'s ever a time I\'ve wanted to say "you\'re right, I\'m wrong," it\'s now. Oh, and on a similar note, stop acting like I\'m a fucking inconvenience! You want me to be honest and open with you but that\'s not going to happen when almost every time you act like I am somehow ruining your day with my problems. There\'s only so many times I can take it before I stop coming to you, and that day is approaching very, very quickly. |
Re: Screaming thread.
Feel so fucking alone. I\'ve lost a grand total of 4 friends this year.. I wish I was gone.
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Re: Screaming thread.
Okay. So its been 3 days and the pain won\'t stop and all you want me to do is.. what was that.. stay strong! Right! :/
How can I fucking stay strong when there is absolutely no strength in me and if you find this funny, I will be glad to push you off the stairs, so you know how it feels :/ |
Re: Screaming thread.
This cold is sucking all the fun out of my life. Leave me alone, illness. D:
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