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Re: Screaming thread.
Life is one glorious black hole- it sucked me in and fucks me up.
And I've had enough of it. It lets my dreams remind me that I screwed up the path to my desired career. And because of that, it tells me over and over again at how worthless and idiotic I am. Everything about me is a huge fucking burden to my family and friends. |
Re: Screaming thread.
Things never get better. >.<
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Re: Screaming thread.
I just want this pain to be over so I can sleep.
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Re: Screaming thread.
I deserve to suffer.....
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Re: Screaming thread.
Dear Brain,
Please stop with the damn insomnia. I'd like to sleep and not think about my crappy problems at ten past one on the morning. Sincerely, me. |
Re: Screaming thread.
Can you please give me a little credit for being at least somewhat intelligent? Yes, I get that meeting people from the internet is risky, but believe it or not not everyone online is a psycho killer. Can you at least give me credit for having SOME judge of character, for taking steps to ENSURE that I'm as safe as possible when meeting people from online? I'm not a fucking idiot. I don't just go meet these people without telling anybody where I am or who I'm with. Safe calls are placed, pictures of drivers' licenses and license plates are taken, addresses are given. So please, stop lecturing me about how all the crazies are out to get me. I don't need to be told the world is a dangerous place anymore; I'm a fucking adult and I fucking know that. And, I fucking know how to keep myself as safe as fucking possible. So please, give me at least a little credit.
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Re: Screaming thread.
I don't want you in my life. Go away. Don't come back. If I need to beg I will, but I don't want to deal with this often. It's hard, harder than I show.
|
Re: Screaming thread.
I'm such a burden.....
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Re: Screaming thread.
Dear step-dad,
Please stop talking like you know everything because sometimes you don't know shit. And stop taking the piss out of people despite them being on TV, it fucks me right off and I know one day you'll go too far and I will put you in your fucking place you will be shaking in your damned boots. DO. YOU. UNDERSTAND?! |
Re: Screaming thread.
I don't want to fucking see him, I could care less about what he is going through. And I don't care how rude or spoiled it sounds. I hate him.
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Re: Screaming thread.
Argh!!
Two screams in one post! Scream number 1: I knew I was becoming ill by each hour of this day, sooner or later I'm going to wake up in the middle of my sleep tonight and puke. I do not have time for this shit! :censored: Scream number 2: I really need to become stronger for everyone, those who need me and those who just... suffering, but I'm scared I'll become emotionless in doing so, or maybe I'm just being foolish... *Sighs* I'm inexperienced with much of life just like any young person, a part of that scares me... :huh: |
Re: Screaming thread.
he's in all of my nightmares and hallucinations and i cry at the thought of him.
and now he's back. i can't do this again but im so scared of what will happen if i don't....... |
Re: Screaming thread.
Stop talking. You are confusing me!
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Re: Screaming thread.
Too depressed.....
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Re: Screaming thread.
I thought I was waiting for something...
I was actually waiting to die... |
Re: Screaming thread.
Even if I wanted this career as badly as I wanted the first 2, everything the second one put me through has made this one impossible too.
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Re: Screaming thread.
I have no strength to type. But my mind is racing. What will they think. I cant even think about it. How am I worrying what they are going to think when I cant even bring myself to think about it. I dont know. I just dont know what to do. ... . .. I'm trying hard. Yet i'm still dying. And i'm lying about how i really feel. Because hell no, people are always more important than me. I wouldnt dare say i'm sick, because you need help more than I do. Whats there of me anyways. Who would be there to fight for me and stand by my side if I opened my mouth and spoke. So I remain silent. Every day. The light is fading away. And yet, still you dont see that. (as i space out and everything gets blurry.) My butt bone hurts. Cant sit anymore. Going to go try and sleep. oh joy.
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Re: Screaming thread.
Just applied for the perfect job for me, but between the lack of driver's license, the lack of experience, and the lack of previous employment, I won't get it. Story of my life, This is why I fought so hard for the masters degree. I don't know how much longer I can do this.
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Re: Screaming thread.
This has all just become too much, I can't do this alone anymore!
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Re: Screaming thread.
FIRST I PASS OUT DUE TO THE FUMES AND THE PILLS THATS COOL.
THEN I BREAK MY PHONE SO BADLY THAT IT'S VIRTUALLY DEAD. NOW SHOW CHOIR IS COMPLICATED. AND TO TOP THAT ALL OFF I'M SO CONFUSED AND SAD THAT THERE REALLY ISN'T A POINT. |
Re: Screaming thread.
Oh my god. I did not leave the house this entire weekend, except to go to a friend's and study with her. I did the review guide. I made flash cards. I did every single problem I've missed on a test. And after all this, I guess on half of the exam because I run out of time. You couldn't make the exam short enough to finish in the freaking two hour block??? If I can study that much and have my entire grade pulled down a letter, there is a problem. And really?????? You can't round up .2 percent??? .2???? You're a math teacher, you're supposed to get the rules of rounding. But no, you're just gonna leave it there, after me showing up for every study session, every homework assignment turned in, every review guide finished, every test passed with a fairly good grade. Maybe this is fair but it sure as hell doesn't feel fair.
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Re: Screaming thread.
Everyone get off my fucking back!
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Re: Screaming thread.
I want to cut, so badly. Its been months, I want to say even clothes to a year, lost count, it was easier not to count, not to notice. So triggered, so on edge and I have been all day and I don't know why. fuck, I just want to feel the blade drag across my skin. PLEASE.
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Re: Screaming thread.
You screamed at me again. This time you told me to shut up. For no good reason? I didn't do a damn thing to you!
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Re: Screaming thread.
I'm going to shut myself down and just drain the shit. I'm not good for anyone.
I'm starting to think I was truly born mad and I'll be like this forever... My depression is annoying and I should stop bothering anyone with it, pretend I'm fine all the time... |
Re: Screaming thread.
I won't freaking see him and I really don't give a crap that he's nearing the end. I won't. So you can stop yelling at me.
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Re: Screaming thread.
Periods with everything that is going on. I can't deal with anymore emotions right now!
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Re: Screaming thread.
Here we go again. Feel it happening all over again.
Might as well disappear. |
Re: Screaming thread.
My whole body aches and I'm so freaking exhausted.
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Re: Screaming thread.
Stop the emotions, please?
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Re: Screaming thread.
Rain, rain go away, go fuck yourself and never come back because I'm already pissed off and shitty weather doesn't help.
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Re: Screaming thread.
When the suicide hotlines run out of solutions for you, you know you're screwed. I really have no reason to keep going, even if I let go of that, this brain damage will make life impossible for me, no reason to keep torturing myself.
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Re: Screaming thread.
What's the point in living anymore when no one gives a fuck about me and couldn't care less if I died? So worthless and useless. I can't take this anymore.
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Re: Screaming thread.
I'm 23, I shouldn't really have acne >___<
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Re: Screaming thread.
Sad..........
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Re: Screaming thread.
I'm tired of letting people in just for them to make me feel awful for being me. I'm so tired of being abused mentally and physically by people.
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Re: Screaming thread.
Can I just hide? I don't want to bother you anymore with my problems, I know how hard working you are...I know you just want to relax. =(
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Re: Screaming thread.
I just don\'t get why you\'re being like this. Every time you realize I\'m out with him you get all weirdly quiet. I can tell you\'re upset. I know it\'s because you think I\'m going to stop thinking you\'re special and will leave you, but that\'s just not true. I\'m trying to be patient, I really am, but you are really frustrating me with this shit. So it\'s okay if I go have sex with other people, but the second it\'s a date you\'re going to flip out on me, every single fucking time? Am I just supposed to hide what I am doing from you? Because I don\'t really want a relationship where I have to say I\'m "going out with friends" just to make you feel better about me dating someone else.
Look, I\'m sorry you\'re fine with only two partners in your life. But it\'s not like I was ever going to stop dating just because I met you. I was very clear with you that my new resolution was to meet more people in both platonic and non-platonic ways. Maybe I\'m being selfish, I don\'t know, but this is my life, and I was clear with you from the beginning about what I wanted. I love you, but apparently I can\'t make you see that these days. Just do me a favor and please stop being weird about me going out with him. It\'d be really nice if you could actually be happy for me, instead of getting so insecure about it. Again, maybe I am being a bitch, but that would be really nice. |
Re: Screaming thread.
I have the biggest urge to harm myself and die. Every single night. One after the other
I feel so lonely |
Re: Screaming thread.
I CANNOT be your only source of happiness. Don\'t you see that that\'s the problem? You place this impossible amount of responsibility on my shoulders to make YOU happy, even though you don\'t see it. I noticed it a few weeks ago when you got upset that I was going out with new friends and it means you might see me less. Suddenly I get all this flack about how I\'m not being your best friend and you\'re just someone I go out to dinner with once a week? I\'m sorry I have other people in my life so you\'re not the ONLY thing I look forward to each week, but that shouldn\'t be used to guilt-trip me into hanging out with you.
I don\'t OWE you anything. Our time is our time because I CHOOSE to spend it with you. You have no, absolutely NO, fucking demands on my life or my time. You are not ENTITLED to part of me. This is MY life and I choose who I want to spend it with. If you can\'t accept that then we have a serious problem. I just can\'t be what you want me to be. I can\'t "pick you up" when you\'re broken-hearted when the broken-heartedness is about me. That\'s not fair to me. So man the fuck up and take some responsibility for your life. Stop depending on me to make you happy. |
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