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Re: Screaming thread.
I wish it was snowing. :p
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Re: Screaming thread.
Neck hurts. Back hurts. Hope I'm not getting the flu again. Tablets are doing nothing.
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Re: Screaming thread.
On God if I get sick again I'm quitting life. One little group B strep turned into group A strep and colitis and overall it's been almost three months. I'm so done with it. Done done done. No more.
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Re: Screaming thread.
Why am I so tired today.. All I want to do is sleep
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Re: Screaming thread.
The second this happened to me, you told me to get over it, but you defend her every fucking word! "She's depressesed","She's can't see"',"She's lonely", "She's can't eat". She eats what she wants to, just like she sees what she wants to, her better eye is my normal, and as for the rest of it, SO AM I, but nobody came running to defend or help me. I found my own way through on my own while you questioned and doubted what I'm really dealing with. It's time for her to do the same. I just can't anymore with anybody. I HATE this family.
Right, because the idea that everyone doesn't love you is impossible for you to comprehend. |
Re: Screaming thread.
I hate myself. It doesn't take much as all really does it?
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Re: Screaming thread.
I can't sleep. I feel so low and I'm not sure why.
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Re: Screaming thread.
I hope things are going well. I haven't heard from you in a couple of days and I'm starting to get nervous. :o
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Re: Screaming thread.
You better make this up to me. Don't you dare take me for a fool.
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Re: Screaming thread.
No one cares. I should just give up already.
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Re: Screaming thread.
Illness, disability, and being victimized AREN'T a "choice to self-pity" that's just fucked up. I lack empathy, but you can post that!? The really sad thing is that people will agree with you.
If you don't want to think of yourself or your child as broken, then that's perfectly fine, but you CAN'T expect the world to bend over backwards for you because you're "different" Teach them to self-advocate for what's necessary for their functioning, not to demand that their comfort be catered to. I can't do this, and if the end result is failure no matter what, then there is no point trying this hard. I know he did, and I clung to that, but if there are no options then there is no point. I'm past the raw emotion I never thought I'd survive, but now I've just given up, something else I never thought I'd do. Of course, everything I never thought would happen has happened so it only makes sense. Even if there was a way out of this, I don't have the resources to pursue it. |
Re: Screaming thread.
All I can hear in my head is that girl screaming 'just let me die already'
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Re: Screaming thread.
Don't act all butt hurt. You are the one who knows I don't like it when people get close to me especially in the back and scare me. Of course I'm pissed off because you always do it even though I've told you numerous times I don't like it.
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Re: Screaming thread.
I'm so frustrated that you never keep your word!
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Re: Screaming thread.
Update: he took me for a fool. Bye, boy.
should probably come up with a plan B other than suicide but I mean what IS there for me to do if I don't get into this college? |
Re: Screaming thread.
I wish that we would have gotten more snow already. I'm dying to go out and play in it. :\
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Re: Screaming thread.
UGH I just want to sleep for a day..
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Re: Screaming thread.
All I do is create more problems for people. I'm a burden.
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Re: Screaming thread.
According to FAFSA my dad is expected to contribute $7000 to my college education and the EFC number I got means I'm not eligible for aid??? There's no way. Even if my grades get me in my wallet will keep me out. Nice. Thinking of alternatives.
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Re: Screaming thread.
"I don't understand how people my age don't have jobs. Do you still live with your parents? Like how? I can't imagine depending on someone else to get by."
I always thought you were a hoity toity bitch. Because illness must not be a thing, right? Where would you go if you got seriously sick or hurt and couldn't work? I hope your parents would help you, otherwise that's a little messed up and you're fooling yourself thinking you're on top of the world when you're up a shit creek. I can't stand that attitude. "Oh I'm capable of working which means everyone else must be lazy" yeah, okay. Good luck to you should you need help because it doesn't look like anyone is gonna be there. |
Re: Screaming thread.
Pretty shitty life. Mums still ill, dads lost his job so he's working away again and he hasn't worked in Scotland for almost 7 years, my grans gone and my parents won't get off my back about exams and stuff, even though did we'll in them!, and then when I get really down about it they saywelll we're not putting pressure on you, you're putting it on yourself. So done with everything.
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Re: Screaming thread.
Sometimes I get so mad at you! I just have to remember that if I don't matter to you, then you shouldn't matter to me.
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Re: Screaming thread.
Wish my hearing aid would stop feedbacking. It's not as if my head isn't a sensitive object. :?
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Re: Screaming thread.
Oh but why can't I just eat like a normal person? I hate this life but I can't seem to make it better. Not yet anyway.
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Re: Screaming thread.
Some people: Don't be an ass. Show reasonable restraint when interacting
Other people: Have reasonable expectations. This is a balance, it's not someone else's fault if a reasonable comment spirals the crap out of you. Completely out of line crap is another story entirely. WHY am I so TIRED?! "I'm hearing a lot of excuses." You fucked with your notes on me to ruin my life and my reputation, and I have a 14 page neuropsych assessment and an MRI that say that this shit is 100% real. I was never perfect, but I was NOT the problem here! This is the ultimate proof that the world does not revolve around you. If this doesn't grow you up, I don't know what will. Torn between the same two things that have been on me for the last 2 years. One is WAY too expensive, and the other won't have ANY jobs available for me, so I can't afford to do either and I remain stuck. Figures, I submit then find a typo, please fix it before you publish this. Every book I've ever read has had at least one typo in it, so it's not a HUGE deal, but if it can get fixed easily, why not? I don't think I'll ever stop wondering if I did this to myself. If it's true that I was forced out for refusing to accept illegal actions against me and standing up for myself in a respectful way, then I don't want to be one of them, but I still want to do what it would've allowed. |
Re: Screaming thread.
I've been cutting for months now and nobody has noticed. I'm not seeking attention, just an excuse to sit down and talk with my mum. About everything. And she saw my legs in the light of day and mouthed "I can't believe you did that" and NEVER SPOKE OF IT AGAIN. I'm just so fucking tired.
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Re: Screaming thread.
i have a plan
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Re: Screaming thread.
This tendency to overthink things is making me crazy. When did I become this person?
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Re: Screaming thread.
I wish we had more snow already. :(
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Re: Screaming thread.
Why is time moving so fast? I can't keep up.
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Re: Screaming thread.
I am tired. I am done. I want to go back to mom's, but it's not safe there, either. when I screw up there, I apparently look like you and she wants to punch me. when I'm with you and screw up here, you tell me to go and write a 1000-WORD fricking essay on WHAT I THINK IS WRONG. YOU WANNA KNOW? YOU!!! YOU. ARE. NOT. HELPING. I want some solace and peace and quiet, but NO, you have to call me out, say I won't get anywhere in life, that I'm not good enough, and that I need to change. THAT'S NOT POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT. RETHINK your methods and then talk to me! Not come back five minutes later and be all "I'm just trying to help you, because you don't communicate with me and I don't know what else to do." But as a matter of fact, I DO COMMUNICATE. I TELL YOU WHEN YOU'RE DOWN-TALKING (Because "I never yell at you") ME THAT I NEED TO SORT THINGS OUT FOR A WHILE, BUT YOU REFUSE TO LISTEN.:mad:
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Re: Screaming thread.
I feel so sad today.
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Re: Screaming thread.
I really wish my cycle would change. I'm sick of always having my period over Christmas and New Years, then four weeks later I get it over my birthday! Curled up in pain :(
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Re: Screaming thread.
I have so much crap to do this week and next. All I want to do is sleep though. I want to cry. I want to cut.
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Re: Screaming thread.
Thinking of going back to IOP so I don\'t end up dead, or worse, half-dead in the ER/inpatient. I want to die but I\'m terrified to fail so I\'m trying to live and I just see myself going in circles. I got off track. I can\'t keep myself on track. I can\'t do this.
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Re: Screaming thread.
Econ would make me bash my head against a wall if the professor didn\'t keep putting me to sleep beforehand.
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Re: Screaming thread.
I wish you would understand how hypocritical you\'re being, but I suppose that\'s lost on you.
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Re: Screaming thread.
Managed to drain and exhaust myself. Fucking great cos I needed to be more tired, more stressed and more irritable than I already was.
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Re: Screaming thread.
I wanna die
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Re: Screaming thread.
It\'s almost slightly funny that you will say how bullying and gossip are bad, then turn around and bully people and gossip about them. It\'s really sad. You truly are a totally different person.
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