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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
i need your help
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
I wish you could see how much pain I'm in.
I wish I could tell you how much it hurts to be this way, how much pain somebody has to be in to put that blade to their flesh, to cry themselves to sleep every night, to want to starve themselves for perfection, how much it hurts to feel so low, day in and day out. I wish I could tell you. E- I love you so much, and I'm scared out of my mind that I'm going to lose you..I miss your voice, your eyes, everything. You don't know how much this hurts me to miss you. I'm picking up the pieces, for you. I'm fighting all the urges and thoughts and behaviors, for you, because I love you. |
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
I'm sorry.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
This is my last chance. Please.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
'You like your Sagittarians, don't you??' - that is, in four YEARS, the first of any kind of reference you have made to the two of us ever being together. The first. In all that time. I know you're a Sagittarius but I ignored you because that threw me. Why now?? I have to talk to you but I'm not sure if I can get up the guts. And I think it's interesting how today we had two big hugs while we were in our brother-sister characters but we never do that in real life.... I don't know why, but it's interesting. I'm still attracted to you but it's nowhere near as problematic as it was over the summer. It's calmed down now.
You - I feel like I want to take care of you. I feel so protective over you. I think it's something to do with how I saw you last week...it hurt to see how cut up and self-hating someone could be and I don't want you to feel that way. You appear somehow fragile to me... you're so skinny and you look so sad sometimes and I don't know if it's because of that - you seem to have been through a lot - but I just want to hold onto you and make you feel better. I loved that you asked me for a hug the other night and that we kissed each other goodbye in the morning - I don't know why, I just would like to have that closeness between us. Maybe I was mixing up feeling attracted to you with this feeling?? This feeling that I would just like to do anything to make you feel better. I don't think it's that I have proper feelings towards you or anything - I still love my boyfriend and this doesn't seem like something that would get in the way of that - I jsut want to feel closer to you and make you feel better and I don't know why. |
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
Nope, today it was just attractiveness. Even while hearing you telling me about your drag act as Marilyn Monroe. Fuck's sake!! My boyfriend needs to come home.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
You make me so freaking anxious. It's not fair. >.<
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
I might sort of like you. And that's really not good on sooooo many levels
Done trying with you and you. You're the reason I'm mentally unstable :) |
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
You're freaking insane!
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
You are soooo fucking annoying! ARGH! You make me want to burn over and over and over and over again! FUCK YOU!
Jay. |
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
I want to be with you sooo bad, but also dont know how I want you. I just feel so happy being around you, but i dont know. Im only not bad looking HA thats code for ugly or pity. but god i love him. ugh so confused
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
Tell me to stop.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
You know why you piss me off? It's obvious, it's because you try and control me! YOu shout at me when I'm not doing something YOUR fucking way and I'm sick of it! Nup, you weren't worried about me tonight, admit it, you loved the attention you received. You went to the fucking neighbours! You texted our whole family!
Jay. |
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
G - I love you. I still love you after everything you've done to hurt me. You were, are my first love, but you need to stop playing games with me. You are hurting me so much more even now and it's not fair.
C - Thank you. You've saved me, and I'm sorry I've been mean to you at times S - Don't tell me you suspected I wasn't safe and yet did nothing about it. It doesn't exactly fill me with hope. Mum - Stop playing games. |
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
Am I really that good at hiding? Can you honestly not see that something is seriously wrong with me? I'm not happy! I get angry/violent feelings way too often. I'm entirely hearbroken. I don't sleep. I barely eat. I have no motivation to live. I'm sick all of the time. I'm seriously not okay and you don't see that? Either I'm the best actress in the world or there's some hardcore denial happening around here.
What is it like to have someone really notice you? |
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
I want a hug. Really bad.
It's not your fault that I'm an ugly fuck, but I hate that you're so shallow and that I still like you so much. If I would just get over this shit, we could be amazing friends without all of the shit that me liking you introduces. |
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
I can not believe you just said all that shit to me. You just made me feel so bad about myself. I mean, I know I'm worthless but you didn't have to verbally tell me. >.<
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
Im trying not to care about you, or think about you, but you are always one my mind. I want to push you away, but im scared that it will actually work and you will leave for good. sigh. i really need you, i wish you could see that.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
Ohhh nooooo, I actually proper fancy you now. Haha, how inappropriate!! You're seventeen. Oh deeeeear. Well jsut two more weeks of kissing each other in rehearsals and then we won't have to see eachh other again and I'll stop feeling like a perve.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
I love you more than you'll ever know. All of your little comments, compliments, laughs, make me smile. I can't imagine life without you anymore. You are so, so lovely. ♥
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
I wish I could talk to you, I wish I could trust you, you always fill me with hope and tell me I'll be an amazing author someday but how can I talk to you? Am I paranoid or would you ring somebody and get them to take me away and lock me up?
I wish I could talk with you about something other than books and how we both are, even though I've been replying 'could be better' now rather than I'm just great, which is a total lie. I need to talk to you, but how can I ditch my friends? Jay. |
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
Soo...
So we kissed last night. You kissed me and I kissed you back before remembering my boyfriend was right there and would probably prefer it if I stopped, so I stopped, even though kissing you was great. I'm trying not to like you. I really really like being your friend - I fancied you for the first week and then when I reminded myself it was always going to be useless I set about trying to just see you as a friend and it's starting to work and I really like it. We really really click, I haven't met anyone in a while that I have so much in common with. If fancying you isn't a good idea I want us to be good friends and it's been starting to work. And then you go and kiss me in the middle of...whatever that was last night. And now I'm scared to look you in the eye. I loved that we were holding hands and touching off of each other while those things were being done to us, I wish I could let you know how much I would have loved to keep kissing you. I'm so so scared things are going to be awkward on Monday. :( I don't want this to get in the way of what's starting to be a really good friendship. I feel weird because even though my boyfriend is ok with it, it feels odd that I've kissed someone else. I haven't kissed someone that's not him in 2 and a half years and then you come along and kiss me out of nowhere so no wonder I'm feeling a bit weird. I jsut feel...weird. And smug..like...I knew you always wanted to do that. |
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
How could you do this to me i hate you just go away and leave me alone
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
B- I really don't know what to say to you. I guess in some way, I should thank you. Without you, T would have no idea how to deal with me now. Because of you, he knows how to handle all of crazy emotions, my random attacking and defending that only he understands and everything else that comes with me. So, uhm.. thanks. But you see, there is this other problem. He says a part of him still loves you. Like a ghost love. I believe him. But you don't deserve it. You were messed up. And yeah, I'm messed up too. I guess in a way, I'm jealous of what you had with him. Messed up, but it's there. I'm kinda glad you're not in his life anymore. But why can't I get you out of my head?
T- Where do I begin? I love you. You know I love you. And you love me too. It's beautiful. I think I have finally found the one. I finally know exactly who it is I want to spend the rest of my life with. You know this, though. So we both want to date each other.. but we're not dating. I think it's because you're such a gentleman you want to meet my dad first. I don't blame you and I think that's adorable. And I love you even more for it. Understanding my heart, you're going to even ask my dad before you hold my hand. I love that and I think it's beautiful. But I really, really, really want to date you. And I'll admit I'm getting a little impatient. But I'll wait until the end of the earth and back if I have to. I love you so so so much. And I'm never going to love anyone else as much as I love you. I hope you know that. <3 |
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
I regret, but dont regret talking to you about my problems that night, i feel so stupid and upset and confused. You kissed my cheek, and it felt so amazing. I felt high, euphoric high, and now im wondering if you did it out of pitty. I love you so so much. Im trying not to, but i cant help it. Ive loved you my whole life, im just not sure what kind of love this is. I miss you like crazy. I think about you constantly. i hope you think of me a little. I feel you dont appreciate what i do for you, but im not gonna say anything. I just write it all out. I wish i could just give you the letter i wrote for you. It doesnt even begin to describe how i feel, but its a start. I LOVE YOU
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
I'm 15 god dammit, I'm not your puppet and you're not my master. Stop making me believe that the only thing I'll ever be good for is bjs and stripping! Control your hormones and stop being so damn frustrating when I'm sad! Okay I get it! I have some issues, I cut, I'm depressed. But you said you would understand. I cut again because I'm a whore. And okay lets make it better by trying to fuck you. NOOOOOOOOOOOO -.-
and okay, heart-breaker's turn. I'm not your girlfriend, so stop making me feel like I am. You send me hearts and call me tay and make me feel great. you invite me to your house....alone. just me. and ride your bike places in the middle of the night just to have me in your arms.... its been 6 months. i'm trying to get over you and you're making it so hard, i wish you knew that. but at the same time.....thank you. sometimes i just flat out miss you....i wish you knew that too. |
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
BP:
Thank you. Thank you for believing in me and for always being there. Thank you for letting me love you even if from a far. I still love you but thank you |
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
BS (I just realised his initals can also be bullshit): I want to die! I just don't have the strength to continue anymore.
Jay. |
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
You've given me courage.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
I DON'T FUCKING CARE THAT S IS ON A FUCKING ONLINE DATING SITE! HE'S YOUR FUCKING EX AND NOW YOU HAVE MADE A PROFILE UNDER A FALSE NAME, PUT UP SOME PHOTOS FROM THE FUCKING GGOOD IMAGAES PAGE WITH SOME CHICK FLOPPING HER TITS OUT AND YOU THINK THIS IS FUCKING FUNNY? YOU ARE SO IMMATURE! WHY DON'T YOU JUST GROW THE FUCK UP! NOW YOU ARE VIOLATING THE RESTRAINING ORDER YOU PUT IN PLACE!
Okay, rant over. Jay. |
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
I want to just leave this house so bad.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
You're not me; how can you say what I am or am not?
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
How can you say I'm attention seeking or that I'm not really suicidal if I'm telling you? Well, you know what? Fuck you! Maybe I'm trying to reach out. but, oh, look at this, another mark upon my arm and another scar on my heart, one too many, oh look at that I'm crumbling. Don't you see how your words effect me?
Jay. |
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
My dad says:
DONT CALL YOUR MOTHER UNLESS I SAY ITS OK!!! I say back: Fuck off, I will call my mother when I want, and as far as that movie you hid from me WHICH I BAUGHT fuck you fuck you fuck you |
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
So glad you care about me. Thanks. Really appreciate it. Like I don't already know that I'll never be good enough.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
I'm so sorry it had to happen like this. I love you, I wish I could make the pain go away. It's not fair.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
Sorry, daddy.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
For once, can we pretend not everything is my fault?
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
It doesn't matter, it never fucking matters. I don't matter, and you can't argue me on that. You know as well as I do that the second you graduate, you're going to forget all about me. I'll just be another name, another face and voice that you'll forget all about. I'm not important enough to remember.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
Last night, while we were on the phone... you cried. Now, the next day, it would be awkward to bring up. And if I did, it would make you close up again. So I won't. I won't bring it up. But if you only knew that I will never, ever leave you. I am so afraid of you leaving me too. Why can't you understand that? You know this but the only reason I could come up with as to why you would still think I would leave is that you are afraid of me leaving more than I am afraid of you leaving. Which, is crazy. I've finally found someone who fears my leaving as much, if not more, than I fear theirs.
I promise I'll protect your heart. Just like how you promised me you'd protect mine. Well I promise I'll do the same to yours. I love you. I love you more than you'll ever know or understand. I won't hurt you. And I won't leave. You are not just supposed to live your life alone. There is someone out there for you that is going to be amazing. She'll be everything you ever wanted. And I love you enough to know that if that's not me, that's okay. I want you to be happy. But I really would love to be happy together. I'm a hopeless romantic and I've never been so in love in my entire life. But don't beat yourself up today for crying. It was safe with me. Anything you share with me is safe. Emotions. Thoughts. Anything. I'll keep it safe. I love you. |
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