TeenHelp - Triggering (SH): CoNtRoL (annnnother poem...i have so many now)

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- - Triggering (SH): CoNtRoL (annnnother poem...i have so many now) (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f40-self-expression/t104481-control-annnnother-poem-i-have-so-many-now/)

CoNtRoL (annnnother poem...i have so many now)

Hey everyone who I guess...reads my poems :hug: I wrote this at play practice while I wasn't up on stage. I started crying a little and by watching my friend up on stage he cheered me up. I still managed this poem. I'm having a horrible....horrible time trying to cope with this whole "the two people who 'loved' me left me alone for eachother since they didn't want me anymore" thing. And....ugh...fell into hopelessness..again :'( ...and now I'm back to my old self. SH, maybe once a week, and only one person knows besides the teenhelp people. And maybe...my friend from play practice might....not sure though :? anywho I'll stop ranting.
This is about me, going insane and using pain as my only way to feel love now that I'm alone.

Cage this monster,
chain this whore,
she's not in control
anymore.
her head is spinning,
her heart is full,
she's in pain,
she's out of control.
She's gone mad,
the end of her rope,
she sees no other
way to cope.
Her skin is dripping
a lovely red,
simply bleeding
til she's dead.
She knows its crazy,
completely insane,
but the only way to
feel love is with pain.
She lost the love,
her perfect dream,
he's gone to never
hear her scream.
She tried so hard,
she gave her all,
but he knew
that she'd soon fall.
He never cared,
he kept on lying,
and now she's phycotic,
bleeding, dying.
Lock her up,
she's a nightmare,
say goodbye
without a care.
Forever alone,
she shouldn't be here,
forget her,
make her dissapear.
She's dangerous,
she's lost her mind,
look at her skin
and see what you find.
See the heartbreak,
the pain he's made,
control that girl,
control her blade.