TeenHelp - Conversations with myself

Soft wind blowing tree branches to and forth. Closed blinds and dark rooms. Birds chirping and distance laughter. Silent screaming, faucet dripping.

Fresh air will do you well. Bright sun shining down upon you. Soft breeze in your hair. Warmth.
No.
Stop.
The gleaming laughter of a friend, the soft lightness from a hug.
Stop.
Nobody cares.
Why are you like this? When did you stop wanting the warmth that comes with life
when everyone stopped caring
But they do care. They always have. Just reach out and talk
But why me?
I don't understand
why must i be the one to reach out
Because you are you.
what's that supposed to mean
Well, you always reach out. You always talk first
let them come then
But you have to make an effort.
I'm tired of making an effort
What do you mean?
.....
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
.....
Stop this. Why are you like this?
.....
What happen to the happy girl from age 15.
She died a long time ago
What... When?
when... When she reached out and nobody came. When she cried for help and nobody cared
People do care. Just got to keep trying.
once again, why must i keep trying?
Well, don't you want to get better?
I want to move forward
Then reach out to others.
No.
Why don't they reach out to me?
Why don't i recieve anything from anyone.
Because you haven't reached out.
Lies.
What of all the messages sent?
Messages? What messages?
All the messages of hopeful hellos and love filled wishes.
All the messages of happy holidays and happy birthdays
.....
Years upon years of reaching out...
Yet nobody every reached back
Surely someone...
Nope. Nobody
But what of--
nobody
Well then...
Stop.
I'm tired of this.
You can't just run!?
Not running.
Ignoring.

The booting of a laptop, the typing of keys Voices of children laughing and skipping around with ease. Sound of a game opening and click of a mouse Car horn going off under the bright blue sky. Soft calming music. A false reality.