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My father is dating a girl my age...
My biological father and I have never been close. He's always been emotionally controlling, never paid child support, was often absent from my life, and has disowned me in the past.
I've been working hard to patch things up with him lately. But today, I find out that the girl he is "talking to" (and went on a date with tonight) is a 21-year-old college student. A little over a year older than me. I pretty much lost it, although he's not aware of that (the conversation was over text). I'm completely disgusted, and I feel hurt in a way. It's like he didn't even think of the fact that he has a DAUGHTER the same age as his potential GIRLFRIEND. Age differences are one thing, but this is completely different. You don't date a girl the same age as your child. It's sick. And I don't know if I even want anything to do with him anymore. Thoughts? Advice? I'm not even completely sure of what I'm feeling right now. |
Re: My father is dating a girl my age...
I can understand why this would hurt you. If my parent started dating someone my age, I would feel all those same feelings. Though, the fact that you and your dad have a rocky relationship to begin with, makes the situation that much MORE complicating.
It's like, there is only so much you can really do. Simple as day, he is a grown adult.. so he is entitled to date whom he want, so long as it's legal. My suggest is that you bring this up with him. Tell him exactly what you're feeling. Tell him that it hurts you and you're not so sure you want to take part in his life if he is going to date someone your age. Tell him why. At the end of the day, it is his choice on how he wants to handle all of this. But it's also your choice in whether you stick around or not. Can you put this past you and continue to build a relationship with your father? If you can't, will you drop contact with him again? These are all things to think about. I would suggest talking to friends or people you trust. Ask others for their opinion. Good luck :) |
Re: My father is dating a girl my age...
If my dad did that, I'd feel the same as you. Have you told him how you felt about it? If you're working to try and patch things up, talking to him about this could help that but if you feel that because of this, you don't want to try anymore then tell him that because there really isn't much you can do about the situation with your father and his potential girlfriend so the only option is to talk to him about it and decide whether you want to stick around and carry on attempting to work on things or leave.
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Re: My father is dating a girl my age...
I'm sorry, best thing to do is try to talk to him. Make him understand how you're feeling. If he throws a fit or tells you off, then cut all ties with him.
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Re: My father is dating a girl my age...
I can see how that would be a problem. Not only do I find that gross and disturbing on many levels but morally incorrect as well. My beliefs on age gaps is that if you could be the parent or child of a potential significant other than it is not right to begin with.
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Re: My father is dating a girl my age...
I don't know how I can help but my Dad and I have a strained relationship also, and he looks for girls my older sisters age. It disgusts me and freaks me out to. You're not alone, I still don't know how I feel about it. I will I could help.
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Re: My father is dating a girl my age...
Yeah i completely get how you're feeling. my dad likes to flirt and make jokes and creepy innuendos to girls my age ( like waitresses, bartenders etc) and its weird. I know people say age is just a number but a certain point it is gross and creepy to say the least. My mom has even said noone should date someone that they could be parents to. all you can really do is tell him how you feel and if he cant respect that then maybe dont talk to him until he can understand your opinion.
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