TeenHelp
Get Advice Quick Ask Support Forums Today's Posts Chat Room

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Chat and Live Help Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Safety Zone
   Hotlines
   Alternatives
   Calendar


You are not registered or have not logged in
Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!) As a guest you can submit help requests, create and reply to Forum posts, join our Chat Room and read our range of articles & resources. By registering you will be able to get fully involved in our community and enjoy features such as connect with members worldwide, add friends & send messages, express yourself through a Blog, find others with similar interests in Social Groups, post pictures and links, set up a profile and more! Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!



Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rate Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Through-Glass Offline
<3
I've been here a while
********
 
Through-Glass's Avatar
 
Name: Jessi
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Location: Eastern Tennessee

Posts: 1,282
Points: 18,014, Level: 19
Points: 18,014, Level: 19 Points: 18,014, Level: 19 Points: 18,014, Level: 19
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: January 7th 2009

My father is dating a girl my age... - May 4th 2012, 04:30 AM

My biological father and I have never been close. He's always been emotionally controlling, never paid child support, was often absent from my life, and has disowned me in the past.

I've been working hard to patch things up with him lately. But today, I find out that the girl he is "talking to" (and went on a date with tonight) is a 21-year-old college student. A little over a year older than me. I pretty much lost it, although he's not aware of that (the conversation was over text).

I'm completely disgusted, and I feel hurt in a way. It's like he didn't even think of the fact that he has a DAUGHTER the same age as his potential GIRLFRIEND. Age differences are one thing, but this is completely different. You don't date a girl the same age as your child. It's sick. And I don't know if I even want anything to do with him anymore.

Thoughts? Advice? I'm not even completely sure of what I'm feeling right now.


[/url]
"For the first time
in a long time,
I can say that I wanna try.
I feel helpless for the most part,
but I'm learning to open my eyes.
And the sad truth of the matter is,
I'll never get over it,
but I'm gonna try
to get better and overcome each moment
in my own way"

Motion City Soundtrack, "Even If It Kills Me"
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Just Peachy. Offline
Normality, my friends.
Jeez, get a life!
***********
 
Just Peachy.'s Avatar
 
Name: Lynds :)
Age: 31
Gender: Grill ;)
Location: Seattle

Posts: 6,614
Points: 63,646, Level: 36
Points: 63,646, Level: 36 Points: 63,646, Level: 36 Points: 63,646, Level: 36
Blog Entries: 199
Join Date: February 19th 2009

Re: My father is dating a girl my age... - May 4th 2012, 04:39 AM

I can understand why this would hurt you. If my parent started dating someone my age, I would feel all those same feelings. Though, the fact that you and your dad have a rocky relationship to begin with, makes the situation that much MORE complicating.

It's like, there is only so much you can really do. Simple as day, he is a grown adult.. so he is entitled to date whom he want, so long as it's legal. My suggest is that you bring this up with him. Tell him exactly what you're feeling. Tell him that it hurts you and you're not so sure you want to take part in his life if he is going to date someone your age. Tell him why.

At the end of the day, it is his choice on how he wants to handle all of this. But it's also your choice in whether you stick around or not. Can you put this past you and continue to build a relationship with your father? If you can't, will you drop contact with him again? These are all things to think about. I would suggest talking to friends or people you trust. Ask others for their opinion.

Good luck


  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Skeleton Offline
Member
Outside, huh?
**********
 
Skeleton's Avatar
 
Name: Charlie
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Location: UK.

Posts: 3,313
Points: 41,800, Level: 29
Points: 41,800, Level: 29 Points: 41,800, Level: 29 Points: 41,800, Level: 29
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: My father is dating a girl my age... - May 4th 2012, 08:18 AM

If my dad did that, I'd feel the same as you. Have you told him how you felt about it? If you're working to try and patch things up, talking to him about this could help that but if you feel that because of this, you don't want to try anymore then tell him that because there really isn't much you can do about the situation with your father and his potential girlfriend so the only option is to talk to him about it and decide whether you want to stick around and carry on attempting to work on things or leave.
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
DeletedAccount20
Guest
 
DeletedAccount20's Avatar
Edit avatar
 

Posts: n/a

Re: My father is dating a girl my age... - May 4th 2012, 04:57 PM

I'm sorry, best thing to do is try to talk to him. Make him understand how you're feeling. If he throws a fit or tells you off, then cut all ties with him.
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Member
Not a n00b
**
 
Sylinagigirox2012's Avatar
 

Posts: 56
Points: 7,992, Level: 13
Points: 7,992, Level: 13 Points: 7,992, Level: 13 Points: 7,992, Level: 13
Join Date: May 7th 2012

Re: My father is dating a girl my age... - May 11th 2012, 03:27 AM

I can see how that would be a problem. Not only do I find that gross and disturbing on many levels but morally incorrect as well. My beliefs on age gaps is that if you could be the parent or child of a potential significant other than it is not right to begin with.
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
AmazonQueen Offline
Why so Serious?
I've been here a while
********
 
AmazonQueen's Avatar
 
Name: Jess
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: Canada

Posts: 1,016
Points: 24,318, Level: 22
Points: 24,318, Level: 22 Points: 24,318, Level: 22 Points: 24,318, Level: 22
Blog Entries: 12
Join Date: June 25th 2010

Re: My father is dating a girl my age... - May 11th 2012, 04:03 AM

I don't know how I can help but my Dad and I have a strained relationship also, and he looks for girls my older sisters age. It disgusts me and freaks me out to. You're not alone, I still don't know how I feel about it. I will I could help.


The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows.
It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it.
You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward.
How much you can take, and keep moving forward.
PM me if you need to talk about ANYTHING.
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
Member
Average Joe
***
 
LittleMissOneBigMess's Avatar
 
Name: Tessa
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: Canada

Posts: 108
Points: 9,302, Level: 14
Points: 9,302, Level: 14 Points: 9,302, Level: 14 Points: 9,302, Level: 14
Join Date: February 7th 2011

Re: My father is dating a girl my age... - May 11th 2012, 04:56 AM

Yeah i completely get how you're feeling. my dad likes to flirt and make jokes and creepy innuendos to girls my age ( like waitresses, bartenders etc) and its weird. I know people say age is just a number but a certain point it is gross and creepy to say the least. My mom has even said noone should date someone that they could be parents to. all you can really do is tell him how you feel and if he cant respect that then maybe dont talk to him until he can understand your opinion.


"You're never gonna spread your disease,So take your hands off of me"
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
age, dating, father, girl

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


 
User Infomation
Your Avatar

Latest Articles & News
- by Rob
- by Rob

Advertisement



All material copyright ©1998-2024, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints | Mobile

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.