Best friend vs boyfriend
 

Something to note: my best friend is also my recent ex girlfriend. A little bit of this story is also on these forums.

If you don't want to find it, here's a basic background: we broke up because her parents did not like me, and she wanted to get away from that hate and experience a boyfriend that her parents could be comfortable with. There was a guy that she saw she could do this with, so they started datin three weeks after we split. She said I was a perfect boyfriend so she never disliked me through this, she just essentially liked someone else due to her parents making her uncomfortable with me. They have been together for about a month now.

Throughout their relationship, me and her stayed best friends. She started hating me for goin to friends about this situation because eventually rumors spread. Eventually a true rumor spread that me and her had done things that basically constitutes as cheating. She was mad at me for opening my mouth about it, but saw that she was also in the wrong and decided to confess it to her bf. he is not a guy to forgive easily, but gave her a shot anyway. To prove that she would now only care for him and only him, she cut out friendship bracelet off and also now currently tries to distance herself from me when he is around. We both know he wouldn't like it if we continued to be best friends, as he had already said how he got jealous and scared of how close we always have been. But she isn't willing to lose me as her best friend, but she also still cares for him and wants to make it up to him and stay with him.

I'm not asking for anything specific, I would just like thoughts and opinions on this.

Re: Best friend vs boyfriend
 

Re: Best friend vs boyfriend
 

She had threatened to lie about all of it, until I had my sister text her so she had another point of view to realize I was not the only one to make things happen. I understand my faults in this and I'm letting myself hurt as the punishment.

It just hurts she kinda has to hide me. The fact that stuff started so fast with her and this other guy continues to hurt too, because I wonder what I had done wrong as a boyfriend. She also somewhat cheated on me before too, but I was quick to forgive because I forgive easily. It's hurting a bit that she wants so much to make him better; I guess that's also my fault because I always say how I would be forgiving always even if I was hurt. She's trying to keep this guy because she's at a risk of losing him. I almost made it seem like I was never a risk to lose because I always want to be with her, as a best friend or a romantic interest. I continue to love her even through all of it though.

Re: Best friend vs boyfriend
 

so, bumping this, but new problem:

her bf had broken up with her yesterday. he said that this entire thing has made him unable to trust her fully. so she is devastated by that.

she had thoughts of suicide. she started cutting in class. me and her other closest friend were sincerely worried, so i called her parents, expressing our concern.

we usually always talk to each other through skype calls. last night, we talked for a little while, just so i could keep her company and to make sure she was okay. she expressed her emotions, how she blames herself, and that she still loves me. i told her how everything will be fine after this breakup and that suicide is not the answer.

soon, her dad came in the room, asking to look at her arms for her cuts.
then, he took her ipod (where she was skyping from), and told me, verbatim, "get the fuck out of her life". more was said, about how they have not appreciated my relationship with her. he said to never have contact with her again, never hug her, and that they never want any association with me ever again.

at this point i was ready to give up. i had a nervous breakdown after he said all of that. then in the morning, she still secretly messaged me, making it clear to me she would defy her parents' wishes and want to continue being best friends, that she still will not let me leave. she asked me to give her an old iphone so she can message me secretly. we still talked, hugged intensely, cried with each other during school today.

at this point i just dont know anymore, dont know if there is ever hope of being amicable with her parents, being able to stay in touch with her, even the hope of ever being back together. the latter is selfish of me since that should be the last of my concerns.

but both of our top concern is how we both want to continue being the closest friends no matter what. that we would never leave each other regardless of what happens. and we're adamant about that.

Re: Best friend vs boyfriend
 

Re: Best friend vs boyfriend
 

One of our major concerns still is if there's ever hope for us to really stay friends, since her parents don't want association with me. Me personally, my hope that we're staying friends also means hope we can be back together in the far future. We both still want each other's company. We understand it's complicated and hard, especially since I graduate this year and she still has two years of high school left. We're still close at school, and she still secretly used my phone at home.