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KimmyKitty Offline
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Name: Kimberly
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Location: USA

Posts: 397
Blog Entries: 3
Join Date: December 20th 2011

Unhappy sexually abused and raped - September 22nd 2013, 04:28 AM

Ive dealt with sexual abuse more than once..... when I was 8 years old, I was molested by my grandfather. at the time, I didn't really think anything of it, I never understood what happened. I was too young to understand. but I think it has effected my self esteem my whole life, after that I pushed everyone away but my dad. I started to understand when got into my teenage years about everything. I feel horrible about myself. I am 16 now, and on August 18th of this year, I was raped. by a guy younger than me. it probably sounds so pathetic. he was living in my house, not related to me but living in my house, and he asked me to have sex multiple times and I kept saying no but he didn't take that as an answer, he grabbed me by my legs, did oral on me, and help a pillow over my face, the next thing I know, he was inside me. I was crying in fear and was saying stop and no, but he wouldn't stop. it burned so much. I ran away from home that night. I told my boyfriend what happened, and his mother called the police. the police didn't believe me and said that it was the guys word against mine, and he said it was consensual and I said it wasn't. because of his age, the law is protecting him, so I didn't prosecute because they didn't believe me anyways, and they said I could get it trouble because of the age. but it wasn't my fault. after that happened, my boyfriend didn't treat me the same, he would barely talk to me, he wasn't there for me when I needed him the most after that. we broke up. I've pretty much cried everyday after the rape happened, and Ive also had scary nightmares of it. I feel so worthless and dirty. I feel like its all my fault. I've tried to keep suicide out of my mind, but it has just came into mind again. I cant stop crying and I really just need some support. my family knows what has happened, they have supported me some, but I just need some support. I don't know what to do anymore. the pain is killing me


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