[Ennui.]

It is wonderful that you're at least getting help for the self harm.

Even though the tools are sterile, there is still a chance of infection. Also, what's to say that on a bad day, you don't cut deeper? Sometimes I've noticed that it starts out shallow, but sometimes after a while you need to do more to get the same affect that you did when you first started out, and because of that you either cuts or go deeper. That may mean either you have to move away from your normal hiding places to get more cuts in, or cut deeper. I'm not saying this will happen to you necessarily, but it's something to look out for.

Also, the problems come back as I am sure you know, since you are getting help for it. You aren't really doing anything to solve the problems by self harming,

Then there's just the fact that you're inflicting pain on yourself, and nobody deserves to feel so low where they have to resort to injuring themselves in order to stop feeling that way.

Again, I'm not necessarily saying this will happen to you, but sometimes I look at the cuts and feel guilty.

I do hope that you will be able to be honest with your therapist soon!

-Dez