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Mallika Offline
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Name: Mallika
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: United States

Posts: 422
Points: 11,409, Level: 15
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Join Date: January 6th 2020

Re: Should i let my boyfriend have a girl best friend? - August 27th 2020, 04:53 AM

Hi Maddie,

Thanks for reaching out.

I completely agree with the above users that when we're in a relationship, it's unhealthy to expect certain things of our partners. Who your boyfriend interacts with is in his own hands. I understand that at your age, it would be normal to feel possessive, but do remember that being in a relationship doesn't mean that one needs to cut off interaction with their regular circle of friends (including friends of the opposite gender).

At the base of everything, relationships are to be built on trust. If you're having this concern about what will happen if your boyfriend is chilling with his female best friend, it seems to me that you don't fully trust his commitment for you. While I don't negate the fact that boys could cheat and that blind trust is also dangerous, we do need to have some degree of trust in our relationships, so that they'll be healthy relationships rather than obsessions. Also, think of it this way - I think it's nice that he openly shared with you that he chills with his female friend. If he was indeed cheating on you, his conscience wouldn't have allowed him to share that openly. The fact that he's being honest about his interactions probably means that he has nothing to hide, as far as cheating on you is concerned.

It's nice that you keep up a standard for yourself whereby you don't talk to other boys unnecessarily now that you're dating a guy. But it wouldn't be right to expect the same from another person. We as social creatures rely on healthy interactions from all kinds of people - from parents, teachers, friends (both girls & boys), romantic partners, etc. - so that our social circle is wholesome.

Hence, I don't think you have to worry too much about him spending time with his female friend. However, if you suspect that he's spending way too much time with her, more than he's spending with you, you have every reason to bring up the matter to him. Otherwise, you can let it be; bringing up the topic without reason might make you seem very possessive and restrictive, which could turn him off.

You can do little things to show that you trust him, for example, when you're on a date, you can say things like "I feel safe when I'm with you," or display small acts of care. These will automatically make him realise that you truly care for him and propel him to remain committed to you.

Take care!