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Name: Hollie
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Re: Asexual or Demisexual - December 29th 2020, 02:38 PM

Hey! Sorry this hasn't had any replies yet!

I'm asexual myself and I've done a lot of exploring online to try and educate myself about what that means for me and for other people, and here's what I've learnt:

Everyone is different.

Masturbation, looking at porn, naked pictures, kissing etc doesn't necessarily indicate your sexuality. Asexuality is about sexual attraction, not how your body does or doesn't respond to sexual stimuli. I'm almost 100% sure I'm asexual, but I also go through phases where my libido is higher, but the difference is that it's not in response to sexual attraction to a person, it's just how my body responds to certain things, and that's natural.

There are also different subcategories in asexuality which I think could easily be applied to demisexuality too. It's possible that you just have a low libido. The whole point of demisexuality is that you need to have a close connection in order to experience the sexual attraction that other people experience. That might fluctuate. You might be somewhere on the grey/demisexual scale, whereby you occassionally experience sexual attraction, but not regularly.

My advice would be, be open to labels and don't feel like you have to pick one and mould yourself into it somehow. Labels are there as a guideline, but they're socially constructed terms that aren't made to perfectly fit everyone. You're perfectly valid whether you realise in a while that you're asexual, demisexual, grey-ace or any other form of sexuality. If you're on facebook, there are groups that you can join too with whole communities of people who fall in different slots all along the spectrum, and for me those groups have given me so much insight into how felixible these labels can be.

I hope I've helped a little bit. If you ever want to talk it through you're welcome to message me. I might not know loads as I feel like I'm learning all the time about different asexual experiences, but I'm always open to getting to know people who see the world a bit like I do!

Hope you're well!


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