[Everglow.]

Hey,

It sounds like a difficult situation to be in and finding yourself in the middle of issues like this is always a dilemma, so I feel for you in that respect. I think it's important to maintain the confidentiality of your friend in this case though, and maybe encourage J to confront T herself and tell him how his actions have effected her. This way it would avoid you having to keep things from people, and also avoid you feeling guilty for doing so.

I think it's good to remember that although you feel T should know why J distanced herself, she ultimately trusted you to talk about these things, which it sounds like may have been hard for her to do. I would advise maintaining that trust if you can as it's clear you care a lot for your friend. She is upset about something which you haven't done, so the best thing you can do is be there to support her in healing from that. Who she decides to talk to should always be her decision, and although I see why you feel like T should know, it's a good idea to let him find out when J is ready to talk to him about it. If you were to go to him yourself, it might damage your friendship with J and upset her more.

I think it's good that T is aware ofhow he can sometimes come across, and it's good that he's asked to be called out on it when it happens. I hope that somehow that is a way for him to move into a more positive friendship with people as we all have to grow and learn from mistakes. Maybe you can let your friend know that this is something he is working on, and that it might be helpful for him to know how his words have impacted her. This might help her to consider talking to him. On the other hand, it's important to respect that sometimes, when someone has hurt us, talking to that person is not constructive to feeling better. If she decides that she would prefer to not talk to him, respecting that choice might be the best thing to do.

Either way, I hope you know that you're not in the wrong for maintaining the confidence your friend put into you. I hope you manage to find a way froward from this and that both of your friends find a way past this as well. They are both very lucky to have such an honest and caring friend, and I am sure they both appreciate you supporting them.

If you need anything else feel free to let me know!