[Everglow.]

Hi Hazen,

Thank you for sharing this and reaching out. I can understand your feelings here and I get why you are considering your sexuality as a result of reflecting on yourself and what others have said. Figuring your sexuality out is always a journey. I think for many people there's a period of questioning or contemplating, and then adjustment. Somewhere down the line, you may find a label you feel works for you. Maybe it will take you right back to 'straight' and maybe it wont. Either way, that's ok, and questioning or reflecting is a healthy thing to do.

I think it's important to remember that there is no real way to act or behave 'gay'. Being gay is not a behaviour, it's an orientation. Being friends with girls, or wearing make up as a guy, or dancing in certain ways, are not enough to make you gay if you're not. I've met some men who are very comfortable in their own skin, who wear makeup, paint their nails, experiment with drag and are friends with women, who are 100% straight. On the other hand, I've met some very stereotypically 'manly' guys who are very much not straight at all. Behaviours are expressions of who you are in more ways than just your sexuality, so if being gay doesn't fit with who you feel you are, you can still do all of those things people think are 'gay', and be something else. There's nothing wrong with that.

On the other hand, if you find yourself feeling some sort of inclination towards men, then it's okay to take time to figure out what that means for you based on your experiences and feelings. You can experiment with labels as much as you need until you find one that fits. I went through many many labels before I settled on the one that worked best for me! I came out to my friends a few times before I was 100% settled on the label I use now. Some people don't ever find a label that works, and that's ok too. The main thing is, like the post above says, that you're happy and being authentic to yourself. Labels are restrictive sometimes because the definitions don't always fit us. But whether you choose to use one or not, and whether you're gay, straight, or anything outside of that, as long as you are happy and expressing yourself in ways that make you happy, you're all good.

I hope this helps a bit. If you want to talk about anything you're always welcome to reach out to me.