[Everglow.]

Hi Welcome to TeenHelp!

I agree with a lot of what Sarah said in that, if I look back on being a teenager I was definitely difficult when it came to tidying up after myself and doing what I was told at home. I think you tend to find that with most children and teens, at home they do push boundaries a bit - not all of them, but definitely a lot of them. I think having a chat with any concerns you have about your kids is a good idea, especially if they are ones you've noticed yourself, and not just ones your boyfriend has mentioned to you.

As well as this though, it might be good to have a talk with your boyfriend too as it's obvious that some of this is causing you some stress. Having this relationship means a lot to you and it's important to try and keep it on good terms, so being open with him and ensuring he knows how you feel might help. For example, if some of the things he is saying makes you feel like you need to defend your children, let him know about this. As much as it's good that he wants to be involved in your childrens lives, 6 months is a relatively short amount of time to base judgements on them, and you know them much better than he does. Equally, he should feel able to come to you if he has things which are upsetting or concerning him, and having an open conversation about that is always good! Communicating is definitely healthier than bottling upset and stress up and having it all blow up later.

Is there perhaps a way you could arrange some bonding with him and your children too? I know that with teenagers, this is tricky! I was definitely a socially avoidant teen (not much has changed there actually...), but maybe base it around their interests. For example, if they're into football, maybe find a local match and go as a family, or have a movie night where you order a food of their choice and decide the movie together. This way you're giving everyone some mutual, common ground to get to know each other better. Like you say, teens often do want to do their own thing, so maybe it will work and maybe it wont, but perhaps it's worth suggesting something like that so that your boyfriend can see beyond the stereotypically lazy teenager and get to know them better, especially if he's going to be a prominent person in their life!

I hope this has helped a bit.