[Ennui.]

I'm so sorry to hear that this is happening with you and your dog. I think it's pretty normal that you thought you were ready and then the time comes and it finally hits you.

The important part to remind yourself of is you can't change the past, but I bet he knows that he was cared for more than you let on. He definitely felt love in the house by your family, especially your mom, and that's the important thing. I know this may seem silly, but maybe if you can get some alone time with your dog you can tell him some things you may have wanted to tell him, even if it's just telling him what you'll miss about him and that everything will be okay.

Do you have any photos of your dog you can use to make a collage or scrapbook, where you write down your favorite memories of him?

Can you also talk to your mom about him? I bet she's feeling really upset over this too, so maybe you two can grieve together.

It is definitely one of those things that gets easier over time. I know when my dog died, I found relief after knowing she wasn't in any pain. Of course I was still upset, but it's all part of the grieving process and it's normal to cry, feel angry, guilty, etc. It eases up over time. <3