[Face Up.]

Hi,

I don’t think it would hurt to try and talk to her about her behavior. You’re right that this would at least make her aware of what’s going on because maybe she doesn’t realize. Make sure you use “I statements” instead of “you statements.” For example, “I feel (emotion) when (action).” This is supposed to make the person less defensive and more receptive to what you are saying. I’d also make sure that you sit her down somewhere private on a day when she’s in a relatively good mood to make her more receptive. It may help to plan out what you want to say before you talk to her to make sure you remember to discuss all the important points.

How she reacts will influence what happens next. She may understand where you’re coming from and change her behavior. That’s the ideal. She may get defensive and need a little time to think about things. Or, the friendship may end, either because she doesn’t want to accept what you’re saying or because you end up distancing yourself because nothing changes.

If you do have to distance yourself don’t feel guilty. Sometimes friendships come to a natural end and that’s okay. You still have good memories with her, which is what’s important.

I hope this helps!
Dez