[Everglow.]

Hey there,

I'm sorry about the way he reacted when he found out. I understand that must not have made it easier on you when he was mad. I just wanted to tell you, though, that he probably reacted that way because he doesn't understand it. Often if a person doesn't understand something like SH, they have to deal with the misconceptions of it. It doesn't mean that you can't speak to him about it, and I think he would probably rather it if you did. Try explaining why you started it in the first place. It wont make SH a better thing, remember that, but it may make him realise that being mad isn't a good way to deal with it. He has a right to be upset - naturally he would be! SH is a horrible thing, especially when someone you love is dealing with it - but perhaps if he understood, he would be able to help you more effectively, and you would feel more comfortable talking to him when you get the urges to self harm.

In terms of your question, because I know about SH, and have dealt with it on a personal level, that being by going through it myself and knowing a few people irl who have been through it, I'd know what not to say. At least, I'd like to think that! I'd probably give my girlfriend/boyfriend my support and let them know that I'm there if they ever need to talk, and perhaps direct them to the list of alternatives here on TH. I'd probably use what I know they life as a form of distraction too, so for example, if they were artistic, I'd suggest they drew something to keep their mind off of the urges, or that they used a red pen to draw on their arm where they'd LIKE to hurt themselves when they get urges, rather than to actually hurt themselves there.

Generally, I'd try to be as supportive as I can, and of course, tell them that help is out there. There are people they can talk to and people who can help them break the habit and find better forms of coping with how they feel. I'd suggest perhaps speaking to a professional or a family member, or friend they trust to get some extra support, because doing it alone is something that is really not a nice thing to do.

I hope this has answered your questions, and if you have any more, feel free to shoot me a PM. Also, if you want to talk about anything, you're welcome to message me and I'm always happy to help.

Take care,
Hollie.