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Lonely.
.... I feel like there's no point in trying anymore. :'(
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Re: Lonely.
Ok Yoshi,
I'm gonna give you some tough love here. You have to let that friend go. She didn't bring you happiness, you chose it. I understand you were lonely, I had the exact same thing happen. Someone I became close to stopped wanting to be friends. Yeah it hurts, but you gotta move on. Unless you let her go, accept there is no "magical person" who is going to come into your life and bring you happiness you can't move forward. Friends, family etc can definitely help. Having good friends is the best and easiest way to feel happy, but the root thing is, You. Choose. Happiness. No one drops a pot of happiness in your lap. You really should meet a therapist, and actively try to move on. Accept that that chapter in life is closed. Put yourself out there, and meet new people, with the aim of friendships, not a magical person who is going to solve everything. That only happens in movies. You've gotten heaps of advice on previous threads, look into them and consider using that advice. Beyond that, I'm going to repeat something Psychomachia said, We are not going to tell you to give up. Just remember you are responsible for your own happiness mate. I'm sorry if this is harsh, but you need to hear the truth. Waiting for someone to make you happy means you're never going to be happy. Its not an easy lesson to swallow, but its a very real one. Cheers Tort |
Re: Lonely.
:( I'm going to try.. Its extremely tough. I don't think I can do this. :(
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Re: Lonely.
Hey there,
I'm wondering if you can tell me more about what youve been doing to cope? Maybe provide a few examples of things youve tried? |
Re: Lonely.
I've been feeding cats alone.. I've been binging on coffee...
Maybe looking up nice food places, but not much else. |
Re: Lonely.
Not going to say much but I am going to echo Tort's words on what Chess said earlier.
Nobody is going to tell you to give up. We don't do that here on TeenHelp. Do we feel tired of saying the same thing over and over? Are you getting less replies with more threads you make? Yes and yes. But it remains the same: NOBODY WILL SAY GIVE UP! |
Re: Lonely.
Thank you for sharing. I can hear how hard things are for you. Do you like spending time with cats? The cats seem pretty happy to be around you.
There are kind of 2 directions one can go in to cope with loss. There's disengaging from the reminders, triggers etc and there's engaging into something else. It sounds like you've been doing a lot to disengage and sort of block out the triggers. Is there something you can do that engages you? From what I'm seeing, you get along with cats very nicely. You can also alternate between engaging abd disengaging. For instance, you can do something that allows you to escape for a while (within a healthy range) and then something else to engage yourself and steer away from too much borefom. (A little boredom is actually a good thing) For me, I color to kind of escape. But then i do something like writing that involves a lot more activity, focus etc. Remember that a crisis is a sign that something in your life needs to change. It is only indicating the urgency of that. When we change, we also grow. And growth means we are alive. |
Re: Lonely.
Put your shit together. and make an honest attempt for once.
It doesn't look like you're doing this. We can't do anything above what we've done multiple times. |
Re: Lonely.
Quote:
Im sorry if that hurt. It should. I respect those who try. you are not trying. so please. just try. for you. for me. for everyone who has given you help. Just Try. |
Re: Lonely.
Yoshi, here's the thing. You've posted many threads recently (e.g. here, here, here, and here) in which you expressed feelings of hopelessness, emptiness, and loneliness. This thread doesn't mention anything new, which means that you're going to get the same responses. Have you noticed how the same few people reply to most of your threads? That's because we want to help, but we can't if you don't work with us. Since you didn't bring up any new points this thread, I'd recommend looking through previous threads that gave you advice on how to deal with all of these feelings. Another thing I'd recommend is to make use of your blog - that way you can express all of these feelings and work through your thoughts without having to worry about how people are going to respond or feeling obligated to reply to those responses. Your blog can be a private place for you to write about what's going on for you, without people trying to give advice.
But since you posted here, in D&S, I'll focus on advice anyway. What, exactly, have you tried to cheer yourself up? You said you like coffee and nice food, so that's a start. Could you maybe go out somewhere in your town/city and get yourself a nice cup of coffee or a meal? Sometimes getting out of the house and interacting with people (even if it's only superficial chit-chat with servers) can help lift your mood. Putting aside the issue of the girl whom you seem to think had solved all your problems, what do you want in life? What are your goals, dreams, aspirations? What can you do now to set yourself on a path to achieving them? Don't think about the obstacles right now, think about how much you want these things and what you can do to get them. If you can't come up with any dreams right off the bat, then spend a little time considering it. Think about what you wanted when you were younger, and the way you imagined your life would be. Your dreams don't have to be specific, either; a desire to be happy is just as valid as an aspiration to have a particular career. Finally, you need to accept that it's tough, but tough doesn't mean impossible. Life was never meant to be easy. This is just a bump in the road - it's not the end of the road. If you keep dwelling on the past, you're going to get stuck here. But if you look forward and start making plans to go through, over, or around the road bump, then you're going to actually start getting somewhere. Also, if you're not already, please consider seeing a mental health professional. They can help you get your life back on track and find your spark again. Remember that nobody here is going to tell you to give up, but we can only give you the help you're prepared to accept and act on. |
Re: Lonely.
I guess I always wanted a figure in my life to kinda be my secret haven after the stuff my family put me truth. I kind of think that ... true happiness is gained via bonds with people. :hug:
I'm trying my best. Lets see what I can do.. tough road ahead. I guess my goal in life is to make other people happy, to bring smiles to the faces of others and to kinda be happy to the point where I can say " I am glad to be alive " I'm a little far from that right now. |
Re: Lonely.
There we go, we're getting somewhere now! Thank you for responding to my questions, you've definitely given some new insights and explanations.
It sounds like you're a very social person, so that's a good place to start. Is there anything going on near you that you could become involved in, such as a club or organisation? You could take up a new hobby or pick up one you used to be involved in, and use that as a starting point in order to make new friends and start feeling better. Just remember not to put all of your hopes onto one person being that ''special someone'' who will magically make everything okay. Instead, think about the fact that people make you happy, and that there are always going to be new people you can meet and befriend or even help. As far as safe havens go, here's a thought: what if you were your own haven? Even extroverts need time to themselves, and it's important to be comfortable in your own company. What are some activities you could do by yourself that would make you happy? For example, you could try hiking or meditating. If you can rely on yourself and feel okay when alone, you'll find that your relationships with other people will benefit greatly - you'll know you're spending time with them because you want to, not because you're scared of being lonely. So take some time every now and then to just be alone, and see if you can come to enjoy it. Finally, do you have any outlets for your emotions? It can help take the edge off negative feelings, like loneliness or emptiness, if you have some other way to express or explore them - for example journalling or creative writing. If you don't, it's definitely something you should look into. |
Re: Lonely.
:hug: Well.. thats true... I guess I might need my own haven. As for me... I kinda like feeding cats because their meows kinda .... make me go "aww" and stuffs I guess. :hug:
As for what I'm thinking of doing.. part of me wants to become an animal rights activist because I kinda like that.. I guess. :hug: I'll try my very best. I like reading, if thats a good outlet. :hug: ... I will always miss her.. :( :hug: |
Re: Lonely.
>> I've been feeding cats alone.. I've been binging on coffee... Maybe looking up nice food places
- First off that's great! Having a pet can really help when you are feeling alone. I know they arent humans but they are living creatures like you too. They show affection and love as well! Having pets can help nuturing the caring part of you, and let you realize there is so much more in you than you think! And yes, cats are adorable and its good that they do make you feel better! I am not so sure with coffee. It does help to stay awake during the night but it also induces anxiety. Perhaps you should reduce that espcially when anxiety doesnt help in making new friends! >> part of me wants to become an animal rights activist because I kinda like that - That's is amazing! You should write that on a piece of paper and stick it on your bedroom wall. Always remind yourself that you have dreams and things you want to acheive. And it seems to me that you love animals a lot, do you think that visiting a zoo can help lighten up your mood? Especially bears if you like them! >> I like reading, if thats a good outlet. - It sure does! Do look up for new books online and read them. I am sure you will love some of them, especially if you are a great reader! Reading is a good way to relax your mind and be temporary away from reality. But dont be too obessed with books and remember to take some time for your real life too! I promise, there are so many things you can try out, and most importantly, dont give up and keep fighting! |
Re: Lonely.
You should totally become an animal rights activist, that's awesome. Reading is a great outlet. I have tons of book suggestions but here are a few: The Memiry of Light, Red Queen, (if you're into romance) Kiss Cam, etc. VM/PM me if you need other suggestions. Don't give up. Try.
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Re: Lonely.
I'm trying my best... :hug: Thanks Ivan. I miss her though :( I hope that she returns because life is tough. :hug:
:hug: Thanks Sanjana. I see that you follow the Wheel Of Time series. :hug: |
Re: Lonely.
Being an animal rights activist is definitely a worthwhile pursuit, and it sounds like it could help you to feel fulfilled. Now you just have to figure out how to go about it. Are there any animal shelters nearby or causes you can get involved in? A lot of charities to do with animals are almost always on the lookout for volunteers so that's a good place to start.
Reading can be a great way to either distract yourself or help you work through your feelings. I find that sometimes there will be a certain storyline or character that resonates with me, and when I stop to think about it I can discover things about myself or my situation that I wouldn't necessarily have thought of before. It's okay to miss "her", as long as you don't put your life on hold waiting for her to come back. You can miss someone even with the knowledge that they're gone for good or that they can't be in your life at the moment for whatever reason, and not have it be a negative feeling. It's how you deal with it that matters, and the important thing is to not let this longing stop you from living your life. |
Re: Lonely.
Quote:
I agree that becoming an animal rights activist sounds like a wonderful idea! I am particularly devoted to raising awareness on trap-neuter-return and emphasize the importance of speutering cats, to reduce stray/feral/unwanted cats. Reading is another great outlet and like Chess said, you might connect with a character and find yourself in them. Also, you can join reading clubs so when you do read books and want to discuss them, you have a group to go to! Of course, there is the TeenHelp book club as well! :) |
Re: Lonely.
:hug: Thanks guys.
Chess, I'm thinking of becoming one.. but right now I kinda have the idea of fetching cats from places where they were treated badly to places where they will be adopted. Basically, I guess I'll be a cat transporter.. :hug: Btw, I really miss her. I didn't have anyone like her before this... :hug: I hope my suffering ends.. as long as it ends, its okay. It doesn't matter how it ends. :hug: Wanderlust, I'll keep that in mind. But the fact was that because of my upbringing, I didn't have anyone like her. :hug: So her leaving my life might prove....... decisive to how the rest of it goes. I just hope that no one else has to suffer the way I did. I will probably join the teenhelp book club. :hug: Here's hoping that I can find someone like her. :( :hug: Who can hang out with me and make new memories with me. :'( P.s Sandra. : That's probably me. HAHA! :D :hug: Well..... I guess you can tell that I'm extremely broken hearted and I think that i'm in a living nightmare. I just hope that no one has to suffer the way I'm suffering right now. |
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