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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Green Yoshi Offline
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I don't know what emotions are any more. - June 4th 2017, 08:04 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I go everywhere alone, and I kinda..... forgot how to smile.

No one else should be like me. No one should experience the pain I feel.

No one should experience the nothingness and void I feel.

My only wish is that everyone else will experience better days than me. I hope that i can save other people for a while.. but after that... I don't know what will happen to me.


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

http://www.teenhelp.org/private.php?do=newpm&u=27464

screwdriverneedsgas

As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I don't know what emotions are any more. - June 4th 2017, 02:52 PM

Yoshi, I am sorry you are feeling this way. Unfortunately, I am not able to give any advice because I'm afraid I'll sound redundant. Other users might be able to help you, but I strongly suggest you look over the threads you have made and take note of all the wonderful advice you have received.

Users have given you advice, time and time again, because you are worthy of being helped.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I don't know what emotions are any more. - June 4th 2017, 04:51 PM

Thanks Jenna.. I'll read those.


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

http://www.teenhelp.org/private.php?do=newpm&u=27464

screwdriverneedsgas

As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I don't know what emotions are any more. - June 4th 2017, 05:41 PM

Instead of reading, how about you actually attempt to make your life better instead of spending most of your time complaining?

Your life won't improve simply because you WANT IT to improve.

If you want something, work and earn it.


The risk I took was calculated, but boy, am I bad at math.
   
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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I don't know what emotions are any more. - June 4th 2017, 09:32 PM

Hey love !

Thanks for posting when you feel this way! I've seen you have made a few posts recently with a lot of advice/support fed back. Have you gone through these responses and taken on the advice? If not maybe that would be a positive thing to do?

I know it can feel really bad at times and I hope that no one else would feel the way I did, but unfortunately, many of us have been in similar places to one another and can relate. Life is full of ups and downs. It is never going to be perfect and when things are going some what well and good, something may blow up making us feel low again. But this is life. This is going to happen. I think you need to work out how to overcome the things bothering you now and from the past and learn to manage bad things and events/situations happening in the future because it's a journey where bumps in the road will happen, even for those people who don't struggle with any mental health illnesses.

Just remember you can do this. You have had a lot os support from us here and there is a reason for that and it's only a good one. Keep on fighting!

Hope and wishes,
Jessie


"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I don't know what emotions are any more. - June 5th 2017, 08:40 AM

I used to be that way.

I think. Fortunately I don't remember.

I remember wondering what emotions were. Or all my emotions were bad. Or there was this constant pain, my emotions saying, "Everything's horrible!". So I knew my emotions were useless to tell me anything useful. I'll just have to ignore them and figure everything out logically. Or find an external brain to help me along.

And the nothingness and void sound vaguely familiar.

Sure glad I don't remember that anymore. That was not a good time.

And it seemed to last forever.

I did have someone helping me through it though. Someone just sat with me through it, for endless days, weeks, months. I didn't go everywhere alone. I tried hard to find someone to be with, because that helped a lot.
   
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Re: I don't know what emotions are any more. - June 5th 2017, 07:17 PM

Thanks for everything..

L, I'll try to find someone like her again.. life is extremely tough without someone like that.

Jessie, you are so correct and I guess there's a reason for me to live. But .. I don't know what it is yet.

del677, you are not allowed to feel like how I feel right now. Its too painful and I don't know if its possible to last and fight through it. I might not be able to save myself, but I can save you.


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

http://www.teenhelp.org/private.php?do=newpm&u=27464

screwdriverneedsgas

As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I don't know what emotions are any more. - June 5th 2017, 08:59 PM

Don't base your happiness on somebody else being on not being there. I know there's this beautiful romantic idea about having that special somebody who literally makes your life what it is, but real life usually don't work this way.

If you depend on others to make you happy, you'll only ever get heartbroken, with every consecutive time more and more. You have to take control yourself.


The risk I took was calculated, but boy, am I bad at math.
   
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  (#9 (permalink)) Old
Green Yoshi Offline
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Re: I don't know what emotions are any more. - June 5th 2017, 10:54 PM

I have been forced to be lonely for most of my life, and its led to me feeling the way I feel now.

I have tried. Its hard.. very, very hard.


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

http://www.teenhelp.org/private.php?do=newpm&u=27464

screwdriverneedsgas

As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
  (#10 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I don't know what emotions are any more. - June 6th 2017, 02:41 AM

Hey friend, keep hangin' in, we're all here for you <3

Something I've been struggling with this year is trying to be okay with having some alone time and knowing that I shouldn't be dependent on others to feel happy or feel like I'm okay.

I think you need a balance. Reach out to others because I know it helps me and I think it helps you too. But it's true that you'll never really be happy if you are completely dependent on others in order to be happy.

Stay strong. Tomorrow is always another day and another sunrise. One day at a time. You're gonna make it.


"All will be well when the day is done"
-Peter, Paul and Mary <3
   
  (#11 (permalink)) Old
Green Yoshi Offline
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Re: I don't know what emotions are any more. - June 6th 2017, 06:51 PM

I'll try my best.

Life does feel extremely empty.. and I don't know if I can beat this.

I did show you some pictures of cats earlier.. and for some reason... they did help a little. Even the cats themselves could tell that there was something very wrong with me.

I hope that a miracle happens.. or that she will return. I am fighting my best without that.. but.... things aren't looking good.


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

http://www.teenhelp.org/private.php?do=newpm&u=27464

screwdriverneedsgas

As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.

Last edited by Green Yoshi; June 6th 2017 at 08:00 PM.
   
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Re: I don't know what emotions are any more. - June 7th 2017, 01:56 AM

I have faith that you can beat it.
Like your signature says, there's always a light!


"All will be well when the day is done"
-Peter, Paul and Mary <3
   
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Green Yoshi Offline
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Re: I don't know what emotions are any more. - June 7th 2017, 08:46 AM

Thanks Esme I hope I am right.

If you ever have a tough day, i'm always here for you to rant to.. you can count on me!


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

http://www.teenhelp.org/private.php?do=newpm&u=27464

screwdriverneedsgas

As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
  (#14 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I don't know what emotions are any more. - June 11th 2017, 10:46 PM

I understand exactly what you are feeling. I truly hope you get better and that you know we care about you and we want you to be happy. Feel free to PM me when you need to and know that suicide is NEVER the way to go (from s girl that has dozens of scars and has attempted twice) I wish the best for you.
   
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Re: I don't know what emotions are any more. - June 16th 2017, 04:05 AM

I just want to let you know that you are a great person. You might think that you wont be happy because she left you, but it isnt true. There is so much more happy things you can do and experience with everything around you!

I hope you keep hanging there, not for us, but for your own future happiness!


Do my best at everything I can to live a happy, perfect life.

Happy life won't come by being happy everyday. Struggle and always work hard.

Forgive other's imperfection, they will work hard about it once I point it out to them, just like what I should be doing.

On the other hand, never tolerate with my own mediocrity. Never slack and always strive improvement.

Never settle. Never give up.
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  (#16 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I don't know what emotions are any more. - June 16th 2017, 07:15 AM

I'm trying my best.. But life is extremely painful without her.

I'm already asking other people silly questions....

Sanjana and Ivan.. the both of you must be happy... no matter what.


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

http://www.teenhelp.org/private.php?do=newpm&u=27464

screwdriverneedsgas

As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
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