Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.

I wish I weren't so conflicted. Can I make a change? Be more confident

[Kate*]

That was never in the post and it's never been an option in that department. There was NO WAY for me to know unless I was TOLD, and considering that you "don't have to tell me anything!" I was never going to find out. Not personal or targeted my fucking ASS

Why did you wait until now to tell me!? They called HOURS ago and now they're closed!

I don't care if I have something lined up or not, I'm not working 12 hours after you just fucked me over again.

[Mindfulness.]

Today was just too much for me.

[Kate*]

I just don't fucking want to. Things were perfectly fine before you, and now I'm only left with bad options because staying isn't one of them.

Exactly as I thought. That means one of two things. Either it IS personal, or the real reason would get you sued. And you have yet to acknowledge or own the fact that EVERYONE who hasn't already run for the hills has been demoted or is on their way out.

I'm so anxious it's making me suicidal it's passive but I hate the thoughts

[Kate*]

I will NEVER enjoy these.

Even if that wasn't too far away, they are unnecessarily strict so I'd never get it. I fucking hate this, and that it's the position I've been placed in by shitty management

That was literally the stupidest thing ever. Why offer a phone interview if it consists of you writing down information I already gave you and then scheduling an in-person interview?! I was just there YESTERDAY for a different company and now I have to go back tomorrow! If I'd known that I could've done it while I was there before.

[Starseeker]

I have been up since 4 am. Couldn't sleep. Everything is aching. I hate my life.

[Mindfulness.]

Why doesn't my life ever stop?

[Starseeker]

Hate my life, hate myself.

[FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""][FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""]Will I sleep or will I have to go into work with minimal sleep. Worst case I'll see if I can move up my afternoon appointment and see if my morning appointment still wants to meet

Once those are done I'll try and use my voice to ask to go home.

I'm also gonna talk to HR about reasonable accommodation which they should do for about 6 weeks but who knows. It makes me nervous and I know I'm making a bad impression[/size][/color][/font][/size][/color][/font]

[Starseeker]

All of this is getting out of hand. This world is straight up crazy and I absolutely hate it

[Mindfulness.]

Decision after decision.

[Kate*]

I guess I'm taking this job, but the fact that I was hesitant means something. As does the fact that she's giving me time to decide! I could always do both, at least for awhile, which is probably what will end up happening. I don't want to screw myself out of pay and benefits if I don't have to.

[Starseeker]

I wish I could take a rest from life

[Kate*]

Well, if you did your job right, it wouldn't be an issue would it?! You don't get to complain about problems you brought on yourself after your actions made everyone quit.

[Mindfulness.]

I just want to feel like this all the time.

[Soda_Voxel]

I want to sleep forever. Dreaming is so much more fun and fulfilling than real life. I want to dream forever, and never wake up and face the agony of life

[Starseeker]

Why do I think about dying all the time?

[Kate*]

Even if we assume that's the case, you're still a shitty manager. Giving me the hours would've been a lot cheaper than the cost of onboarding a new hire and then paying us both. So, this explains a week with 12 hours, but does not explain passing me over twice without a word. And now you'll have to answer for these poor decisions because you're consistently over budget on payroll. Like I keep saying, you want to own the decision to hire, you own the consequences of an unbalanced budget. And getting rid of me, as much as you may want to will never be the common sense solution.

[Everglow.]

My heads not in it today. I wish I could sleep properly before a Mondays shift.

[Mindfulness.]

I really wish my schedule was this crazy.

[Starseeker]

All the emotions and hatred for myself overwhelmed me. There was a point when I stopped caring altogether. It was just too much.

[Soda_Voxel]

You're just me but a million times better. i shouldnt even be alive but i dont have a choice

[Kate*]

I can't tell you how badly I want to call off tomorrow, but considering that all the available jobs are miserable with no money, I'm going to be stuck there FOREVER.

Calling off because I just can't do it, especially since she'll be there all day. I'm basically making a decision for them and making sure i get paid for it.

You'd better clear the fucking absence. You require 2 hours notice, which I gave. If you want it cleared by a manager, then one needs to be AVAILABLE. And you were supposed to be there an HOUR AGO so its NOT my fault!

I am a valid human being; I don't want the material things. I just want your parental support!

[Kate*]

I want to believe it's all for a reason that will some day make sense, but I don't see how any of it has worked out. Like, after everything I survived, this was the "better" I held on for? Is this really as good as it's going to get, because it just doesn't seem like it was worth it.

[Mindfulness.]

I'm slowly sinking and I don't know how to stop it.

[Kate*]

I NEED more money, but these salaries aren't even close to competitive. Even if I stay for the high wage and the benefits, I need another job which is proving impossible to find. With almost 5 years of experience, I refuse to settle

[Kate*]

What if I take one on to make this work, only for them to screw me in return and I end up fired? If they want to screw me, they will and they obviously want rid of me. This bitch needs to get the fuck out.

After years of this, part of it is miserable. Night owl is one thing, but vampire for years has some serious drawbacks.

[Mindfulness.]

I just don't want to be this tired anymore.

[Kate*]

Trying not to count the chickens before they hatch, but I'd be surprised if I didn't get that. Which is shocking because it really didn't go that well. Found the link she didn't send and filled it out anyway because he said I should. Either way is fine, I'll just keep looking. Anxiety needs to CHILL

I can't fucking even. You hired her over me, she BLEW off 3 days in a row, and instead of calling me in, you prefer to drown me and then schedule me for ONE SHIFT. You want rid of all the good loyal employees who actually keep you up and running and you fucking win. Don't be surprised if I walk tomorrow.

[Kate*]

I'd give up, but I can't afford to. Playing favorites much?! Even if it didn't work out with her, I know now I'd NEVER get it because you'd rather screw everybody over until they quit than admit you're the problem, suck at your job and quit yourself.

I need a vacation, and more money so I can actually enjoy it. Too bad you can't have both. And I have to do this interview tomorrow even though I probably don't want the job, because I couldn't figure out how to cancel it. 30 minutes for a retail job, are you kidding?! It's fucking retail, get real!

[Kate*]

"You might've talked yourself out of a job." Well, fuck. I thought it went well, except that freaked him out, but once I disclosed, he showed me and said it could be accommodated. So, fingers crossed, but yes I'll be disappointed.

Considering nothing else has changed, I'm guessing it's fine, but I can't wait to get this checked out. And hopefully the new place can handle me because I probably need a new one permanently and they're the closest option.

[Soda_Voxel]

I AM SO BLOODY SICK OF SNEEZING AND HAVING A RUNNY NOSE OMG

[Starseeker]

I am angry and annoyed at the company my bf works in because they make him work unpaid overtime. He's tired and angry because of that, and it makes me feel down as well.

[Doodle.]

“I'm terrified that all the happiest moments in my life have already passed while I was distracted, hoping for better. I'm scared that I wasted my happiest experiences filled with depression and self-hatred.”


(not my quote, I saw it on a YouTube comment but damn that sums up everything)

[Soda_Voxel]

When I said I wanted warm weather I did NOT mean THIRTY TWO DEGREES CELSIUS!!!!!!

[Kate*]

Yes, I'm calling off again. No, I don't give a fuck. Quit screwing me over and give me my hours back. You wanted her, you got her. And if she can call off 3 days straight in her first month with no sick time consequence free, then I sure as fuck can call off one day with over 100 hours that are MINE that I EARNED. I don't know if she just sees them, or if corporate does too, and I don't expect anything to come of it, but you have NO IDEA how badly I'd love to see you get some karma after what you've done.

[Mindfulness.]

I really hope this doesn't last.

[Soda_Voxel]

I cant fucking live like this anymore and i don't know what im fucking meant to do about it. how am i supposed to cope