i want to kill miself!but i'm too afraid to do it

[lifesucks]

i don't know what to say....but i had this feeling...i want to scream so loud...so everybody can hear..i ...i feel so fuckin' sad..and this feeling just doesn't pass,i don't know what to do anymore...maybe is a deep depression that i have...it started long time ago...when i knew i can't tell to no one what is wrong with me;many times i tryed to show that i need them to be there for me;but sometimes i felt like is not right to make them suffer because of me...so,i end up feeling lonely and sad even when i was laughing or when everything felt like it was all right;now...i just want all this pain and sadness to end...i know it's selfish from me to say that;but i feel like i want to be selfish after all this time when nobody cared about me;i always cared about them,doesn't matter who it was;friend,brother,sister or my parents;i just cared and suffered when they we're sad or they had problems;i tryed to smile and make them feel better;but ...who tryed to do that for me?i never had someone to tell me that it will be ok,or just to be beside me trough this hard times..and that really hurts.i love them,no doubt,i would give my life for them just to know that they are happy..but i'm on the edge now..and i feel that i can jump in the next sec.i know it sounds bad...but it's just they way i feel now..i don't know where to search for help..for a good word,a cheer;no ideea..but what i know for sure is that i want all this to end...as fast as possible..

i'm confused,and desoriented....i would like to tell somebody what i feel ,but i can't.not because i don't want but i don't have anyone here to talk about my problems with;i just think i need a bit of courage to do what i want to do....to find a way...and just to do it.there's nothing left for me here...just pain and anger and sadness;i need a peacefull place where i cand close my eyes and everything it will go free;i need that....i need a new start,a new chance,and i hope i can have it one day;
the most painfull thing is to know that i have people around me ...or i had .now i am completely alone.i feel so stupid;i don't know why i'm writing this...I just need SOMEONE...someone to care about me;someone true,someone honest.

[lauri]

I feel the same sometimes like I just want to scream throw things and cry non stop. I think your parents do care about you but we often times push are parents away when really we shouldnt. If your crying or upset you need to let your parents know so they can talk to you and support you. There not mind readers so if you dont let your parents know whats going on they cant help you.

Your not a burden to any one and your not making them suffer if you tell them whats wrong. Thats what parents are there for to help there child to comfort and support them. You will not be causeing your parents any suffering if you just reach out to them let them help you. They actually will be glad and happy you reached out to them because they love you and want to know what goes on with you because they do love you.

Maybe you can talk to your mom or dad which ever one your closet to in private when your feeling like this. So you wont feel alone and they can support you and tell you that killing your self would hurt them very much and is not the answer.

So next time you feel really depressed or sad reach out to one of your parents if you cant say it then write it down on a piece of paper and give it to them. Hugs help too so when your crying go get a hug from your parents.

It will be okay not every day of your life will be bad there will be good times too. We all have rough times but you just got to get back up and start trying again. You do have a right to cry and feel hurt. Crying is good and once you do it you feel better.

[lifesucks]

Lauri,i don't have any member of my family near me..i'm in England and they are way far from me;since i was a child i kept all my struggles and deep toughts for miself,i'm not used to open my heart ..and yeah,i really don't remember when it was last time when somebody hugged me...i cry every night,and sometimes i feel like i wanna cry for no reason.but now i have all the reasons to cry;i'm alone,sad and is nobody who can help me..you know,today i was in train and when i saw the button OPEN for the train door i suddenly had images with me jumping out...it's so difficult...i don't ask for much..i just want to smile and be happy like most of people are;i ask too much?i feel like i don't desearve to be happy,all this years i tryed to tell miself that everything's gonna be ok and it will end;but i'm tired to wait...

[lauri]

Well thats your promblem you kept everything inside. You need to talk to some one when your upset or worried about something DONT keep it in. You can call your parent s up on the telephone Im sure when your sad. Wont they pick up the phone when you call? Tell them over the phone how your day was what is stressing you out so they can be there to comfort and support you. Try to make some friends at college or at work. Get into clubs or organizations. Or go to a bar meet some people there. You could look into seeing a counslor if you want if you think its that bad.

Of course you deserve to be happy and no your NOT asking for too much trust me you arent your a human being and you deserve these things. I think it will do you good to call up your parents once in a while and tell them whats going on with you. They wont know unless you call them up and tell them. Your never too old to talk to your parents. You can always rant to me if you want Im used to it because I do it a lot on here if you havent noticed.

[Imafrendly]

Well you shold talk to a livehelp operator about it i hear there great at helping people feel safer and better

[nandonadorobb]

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[Panda88]

Life sucks or Luari plz talk to me about anything I don't want either of I to commit suicide so please pm I'll talk to u about anything u need to tak about

[Snickers4321]

Just think about how sad everyone will be when they realize they will never see u again and that they should have spent more time with u. Dont do it !!! Just call ur family and talk call a doctor just do anything to make it better trust me i was thinking about shooting myself 3 years ago and i just started talking to my mom and dad and now i want to live forever! U can do it trust me just think about good times even a very little thing can go a long way