Triggering (Suicide): at a complete loss for words...

[bayhorse321]

okay, My girlfriend sends me a text that I wake up and receive an hour later than she sent it. It says "My sister told me to kill myself, F this."
The next one said " I am going to do something bad."

You could imagine why me waking up to this would be troubling. I could not go back to sleep as my anxiety was through the roof. I couldn't get ahold of her because her mom takes her phone at night and she wasn't online like she usually is. I also had no way to get to her house...
Moving on. I finally get ahold of her this morning and she tried to kill herself last night through Over Doseing. And she tried to drown herself. I realize that I don't know what to do now. I Love her a lot and I don't know what to do. She obviously isn't happy. I am a Cutter of 5 years now trying to stop and get better. I go to therapy and even am trying to overcome my eating disorder... It is awful being on the other side of the suicide attempt of someone you love. It is a reality check, thats for sure.
I just I can't see how I am going to recover when everytime something like this happens or she cuts I cut too. Its not even just one time for me. I can't see how I can get better... Like I am not making sence I understand that but I really need help/support. What do I do????

[bayhorse321]

I also can't leave her because I care so much about her and her well being. I just don't think I am helping her at all. I want her to stop before it is to late and she gets to far into this cycle or she ends up killing herself. please someone help me.

[PurpleMoon]

If she has tried to kill herself i guess you should try to talk to her and find out why she feels like this and see if you can get her to seek help, if not i would definatly advise you to tell someone about this. Hopfully it will help and she will get better

[bayhorse321]

I know mostly why she tried and I know a bit about her past. She wants help but wont get it because she wont talk to her mother and her mom wont let her see a councelor/therapist. I am going to try doing something because I have to. I mean she will probably hate me but this is the second time within a month and I can't sit here. I love her and I have to help. I really don't know much of how I can being as how I just now got help after 5 years.

[.:BreakingBeautifully:.]

Hey there,

I am sorry you are dealing with so much; I know how hard it can be to see someone you love struggle. I also know how triggering it is when someone in your life is struggling with self harm or suicidal tendencies and I know it can deter your own recovery; I want to assure you it doesn't have to make recovery impossible. I come from a family of people that struggle with depression and what not so when I have been recovering from things like suicidal tendencies I would have to deal with family members who were dealing with the same things and it would trigger me quite a bit. A few times it almost pushed me to the edge but I was able to rationalize that harming myself would not help me and it definitely would not help them. I started telling myself that I could be a role model of sorts if I could go without harming myself maybe I could prove to them that they too could go without harming themselves as well. Well sometimes it was a struggle I would repeat this mantra when I would get triggered and it helped.

Another thing that might help is by making a reasons to live list and looking at that whenever you are feeling the urge to harm yourself. I know that a reasons to live list has helped me numerous times when I have wanted to end my life. Here is a link to teenhelps reasons to live list: http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f11-d...-reasons-live/ Look at the reasons other users have to keep holding on and then make your own reasons; remember no reason is too small.

As for the issue with self harm; I think it would be good for you to look at the list of alternatives and use those whenever you are thinking of harming yourself. Here is the link: http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-s...ves-self-harm/ Remember it took time for your body to get used to the self harm so it will take time for your body to get used to any thing else.

Do you have anyone that you can talk to about your struggles? If so I think you should try texting them when you are struggling. I know that it can be hard reaching out but it is better to reach out then it is too harm yourself.

I know you want to be there to support your girlfriend and I think that is great but you can only do so much for her. The truth is she has to be willing to help herself as well. Do you think you could talk to her about reaching out and seeking counseling? The truth is you can give her support and she needs that but a counselor can provide her with the tools to slowly overcome the issues she is having. If you have not talked to her about this I think you should; she might be reluctant at first but I think you should keep talking to her about it. However if she will not budge on the idea I think you will need to talk to a trusted adult in her life or your life and go from there. She needs help for this and you cannot be her only source of support.

Lastly, have you been talking to your therapist about your relationship? Maybe you could reach out to her as well; she would probably be able to provide you with some advice on what to do as well.

I hope this helped in some way and I am wishing you the best of luck. If you need anything feel free to pm me.

[bayhorse321]

I have talked to her about seeking help. She wants too but is under age so her mom has to be involved and that is a no go. Her mom is very tabo on these subjects. She had to convince her mom that I no longer cut in order for us to be friends. her mother does not know that we are more than that and she can't know. she is a homophobe. I talked to my therapist a little, but come Thursday Him and I will have so much to talk about. I need help to help her if that makes sence... I am so worried all the time and My anxiety though irrational at times does not stop. I havent slept in a few days just worrying..