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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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TheQuietGirl Offline
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Lately I've been depressed - July 23rd 2012, 01:00 AM

And I can't really figure out why.

I'm recovering from surgery (bone surgery in my knee) and apparently I'm the best recovery case my Physical Therapist has seen (especially for this kind of surgery). So that's going decently well, even though I'm still having issues with it.

But I've just been in tears/crying and I haven't really a straight issues. I'll be in college in 3 years, and I'm determined to go to England. I'm aiming to play professional soccer, and go to school to become a physicist. I have all of that going for me.

I don't know why I'm getting all sad! It has nothing to do with relationships. I just broke up with a mega-clingy boyfriend, and I'm 100% fine with it lol. I just want to be in college. But I just hate who I am. I find myself ugly as roadkill, weird, annoying, etc. I asked my friends, and they don't agree at all. But I figure they *have* to say that. :/

I don't really know what to do any-more. It's really depressing for me and not to fun to deal with. maybe once I'm back in soccer (I've been playing since I was 4 years old) I'll be happier? Idk. :/


   
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Re: Lately I've been depressed - July 23rd 2012, 01:25 AM

Hello Abigail.

I'm sorry you've been feeling down lately. I know that stinks. Maybe you just don't know what to do with yourself right now?
I know what it's like to be so involved in a sport and then be unable to do it. It's hard! I think that things are probably hard because you can't do soccer... And I hope they get better once you start playing again!

-Leah


I wanna fly. So I do gymnastics instead.

I'll just keep holding on to what i believe and oh I believe in you. Give me the strength for the fight and the heart to believe cause I've got to believe in you. I feel so alive.

PeacewithImperfection
   
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Re: Lately I've been depressed - July 23rd 2012, 01:29 AM

I really hope so. My parents have been hinting that I'm not good enough of a soccer player to go pro, or smart enough to go to England for college.
So that really hits home. I know I shouldn't listen because I hear differently from teachers and coaches (and soccer parents), but still..


   
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Re: Lately I've been depressed - July 23rd 2012, 04:10 AM

I just realized I keep talking myself in a hole. I keep saying "i'm so gross" "I look like a toad that just got run over", but it's NOT for compliments. I make myself feel worse for saying that, and when my friends compliment me I feel even *worse*. I hate this, and I hate myself.


   
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Re: Lately I've been depressed - July 23rd 2012, 05:49 PM

Abigail,
Don't let the self-hatred grow. You have to beat it down before it gets the better of you. I know your feeling depressed, worthless, alone, etc right now, but you have to try. I don't want you to have any bigger problems,yeah? You can do this.
I suggest putting little notes for yourself in random places. Like before physical therapy, you could write "You can do this!" on the palm of your hand. When you get home, you could post little notes to yourself on your mirror, in your binder/folder, etc. I suggest putting things like "You are beautiful" on your mirror, "Smile because your worth it" in your binder, etc.

If you let it, self-hatred can grow like a cancer, and then it destroys your life.
Maybe when you start playing soccer again you'll feel more confident in yourself. Especially since you went from excersizing all the time to nothing. I know that can mess up your "happy chemicals" in your brain.

Don't let your parents get you down. You can be a pro if you want to be, your good enough. You just have to do your best. Don't put yourself down hun. <3

I know you can do this Abigail.
I know you can fight the darkness.
Stay strong, and if you need me or wanna talk you can PM/VM me. Sorry this was so long.
~paula


If you're looking for a sign not to kill yourself tonight, this is it.
"May the odds be ever in your favour"
"A strong person is one who can smile this morning like they weren't crying last night."
Your never alone, I'm always here for you. Shoot me a VM or PM.
   
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Re: Lately I've been depressed - July 23rd 2012, 07:53 PM

You are beautiful in everyway and I dont have to say tht im choosing to say that!!! Maybe the reson ur depressed is because of your dog and you have no self esteem... maybe this will make u smile... smile because happy looks good on you... u r pretty without makeup and u dont need designer clothes to b appreciated... ill appreciate u no matter what...:-D
   
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Re: Lately I've been depressed - July 24th 2012, 06:28 AM

Depression can sneak up on a person. It is a serious illness but can be treated. I hope you feel better and recover well from your surgery.
But do keep in mind...as advice from someone who has been there...if the sadness and crying don't get better, or get worse, esp if you have suicidal thoughts, please find a support group, a doctor, try medication, find a good therapist to talk to.
I just don't want anyone to have to go thru the hell I went thru with depression. It is treatable. it gets better. and life is worth living.
   
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Re: Lately I've been depressed - July 26th 2012, 03:16 PM

I'm not really a therapist kind of person, haha. I hate going to some stranger, and they think they can understand my thoughts just by what I chose to share. I know how to solve issues. I'm realistic that I'm not pretty. It bothers me when people try to tell me different (weird, I know. I just don't like liars).
Thanks for the help guys, you did help <3


   
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