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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Agony Offline
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Done. - August 10th 2012, 06:58 PM

Last night I completely lost it...I don't know exactly what happened but I'm pretty sure I has a panic attack or something similar to one. I took random pills and mixed them, hoping for something to calm me down. Turns out it didnt do much but made me really sleepy. I kept falling asleep and then waking up, then repeating the process over and over. My dreams have gotten worse...I can't even explain them. The best way to describe them is there making me believe my reality is in my dreams and my life is fake. You'd think I wouldn't let them get to me by now but I guess I'm not as strong as I thought. Right now I'm home alone and I feel like crap. We have a LOT of medicine downstairs and I'm about to take all of it...all because of my dreams. I have a pretty good life besides them, a caring boyfriend, lots of friends, pretty good athlete...but when it comes down to it my dreams dominate the good. I don't know why I even wrote this...I know I won't get help anyways. Been there, done that and I regret it. I'm a lost cause.



When I'm sad I think, "I got a jar of dirt, I got a jar of dirt!"

You can't change fate, but you can change your attitude towards it.
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
monkey01 Offline
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Re: Done. - August 10th 2012, 08:25 PM

you are definitely not a lost cause. please dont take those pills we all care about you


There is always someone who cares about you. It may not seem like it but there is. I can promise you that much.
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Re: Done. - August 10th 2012, 08:28 PM

Trust me, i am indeed a lost cause. And now I can't take more pills because my mom came home I should have done it before but I started listening to music -__- I swear this is like the 100th time music has saved my life



When I'm sad I think, "I got a jar of dirt, I got a jar of dirt!"

You can't change fate, but you can change your attitude towards it.
Former user: xArchDreamerx

Became a HelpLINK mentor on July 13th, 2013
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
monkey01 Offline
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Re: Done. - August 10th 2012, 08:39 PM

no you are not a lost cause and you should not of done it because so many people love and care about you


There is always someone who cares about you. It may not seem like it but there is. I can promise you that much.
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Agony Offline
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Re: Done. - August 10th 2012, 08:42 PM

They may love and care about me but they don't know the real me. Hell I don't even know the real me. If you look way back in my past I was good, but if you look not far into my past you see how of a pain I am. If I killed myself I'd be doing everyone a favor.



When I'm sad I think, "I got a jar of dirt, I got a jar of dirt!"

You can't change fate, but you can change your attitude towards it.
Former user: xArchDreamerx

Became a HelpLINK mentor on July 13th, 2013
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
monkey01 Offline
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Re: Done. - August 10th 2012, 08:50 PM

you would not be doing anyone a favor you would be hurting us all. people love you and care about you because of who you are not by your words or actions


There is always someone who cares about you. It may not seem like it but there is. I can promise you that much.
  Send a message via MSN to monkey01  
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Agony Offline
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Re: Done. - August 11th 2012, 12:36 AM

Who exactly am I? Because I don't know who I am. One minute I'm happy the next I want to jump out of my window. I'm so confused.



When I'm sad I think, "I got a jar of dirt, I got a jar of dirt!"

You can't change fate, but you can change your attitude towards it.
Former user: xArchDreamerx

Became a HelpLINK mentor on July 13th, 2013
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
monkey01 Offline
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Re: Done. - August 11th 2012, 12:38 AM

it takes time to figure out who you are i dont know who i am yet


There is always someone who cares about you. It may not seem like it but there is. I can promise you that much.
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Re: Done. - August 11th 2012, 03:04 AM

it doesnt matter if youre confused on who you are right now. that normal. things change, people change, YOU change. and nightmares suck. youve told me how bad they are. but nothing is worth killing yourself over, nomatter how much it seems like it. the world would NOT be better without you. youre needed. here. on earth. alive. there are people who care and love you, who would be devistated if you left them, especially in this way.
have you tried getting help with your nightmares? talking to a doctor, councler, or something? ive heard they can help sometimes. might be something worth looking in to. just try not to kill yourself. please? it can get better and im here for you too.<3


formerly snowstorm, GoneBeyondRepair, and Breathless in Love
Repose en Paix, Grandad/mom H., Sito, Nay, Mary, Aunt S., Peter, Katie, Lexi, Mrs. Radoye, Mandii, Trevor, Megan, Uncle T., Erika, Aunt R., Braxton, Connie, Adam, Grandpa, Buttons ♥
The world will bleed its bloody tale. People will throw their stones. But the one thing you must always remember is:
You no longer walk alone.
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Agony Offline
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Re: Done. - August 11th 2012, 05:15 AM

I have tried once with a therapist and I lied to get out of therapy. My mom totally freaked when she found out bout the dreams even tho I downplayed them a lot so I lied my way out. Told them they stopped and I was fine. Now my mom jokes about them all the time and it makes me so freakin mad. But whatever. I can't get help so guess I'm on my own



When I'm sad I think, "I got a jar of dirt, I got a jar of dirt!"

You can't change fate, but you can change your attitude towards it.
Former user: xArchDreamerx

Became a HelpLINK mentor on July 13th, 2013

Last edited by Agony; August 11th 2012 at 05:21 AM.
   
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