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Lukas1996 Offline
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Really depressed, and losing hope quickly.. - August 15th 2012, 12:52 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Okay, to start off I'm 15, in the 9th grade, single (never had a girlfriend before) and very shy. I have been diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder when I was 14 and that really made me depressed. I go to school and get constantly bullied and pushed around, I try day after day to get them to stop but they never do, I've tried the counselors but it seems like it doesn't help at all. I recently lost my best (and only) friend to suicide and after finding out about her death I've been EXTREMELY DEPRESSED, nothing is worth living for, I've tried therapy before, I don't cut myself but I'm tired of being the "background" kid, the kid no one cares about or even notices at school. Talking to other people, in front of a class or making eye contact with someone is extremely difficult for me.

PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME, there is nothing worth living for anymore, I don't know what do, and I'm scared.

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Katelina Offline
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Re: Really depressed, and losing hope quickly.. - August 15th 2012, 06:56 PM

So sorry to hear about your friend hun. It seems like you are blaming yourself for your friends loss.
You can't let a passing in your friends or family get you down so much. Think of it this way; is that
what they would want me to do? Is this how they want me to live life?

Ask yourself that; I can tell you that your friend wouldn't want you to live your life like this. She
would want you to accomplish your goals and dreams. Keep a photo of her in your wallet, don't
forget that she passed but do not dwell on this. If you are a writer, write poetry or a story for her. Go
to her grave on the weekends and read them out loud. If your an artist, paint/draw/stuff (I'm not an
artist) whenever you feel down in class or at home. You get the idea; remember her by the good moments
you two shared. But do not dwell on the fact that she's "gone" because she never really is gone. She's
always alive in your heart for as long as you remember/cherish her.

You state that you do not want to be that "background" kid anymore. Though you are scared to go up
and talk to people. Is it perhaps big crowds that frighten you? If it is; in High School there are clubs
you can join. Find a small one that you like and join it. If you think you won't fit in look at it this way;
who cares what others think. As long as you are having fun and enjoying yourself they can just walk
away. If you are frightened to stand in big crowds and give a speech for class, you can always ask your
teacher or friend to give it for you. Pull your teacher aside and tell them your frightened about standing
in front of people. Teachers have to respect that you do not feel comfortable with it and must abide. If
they don't report it to your principle and switch out of the class to a different teacher.

Concerning friends; you will always make more friends hun, it is high school. During class there will
be lots of people who could be just like you. Attempt to start a conversation with them, if you dont feel
comfortable doing that write them a letter. I find it easier to talk to people through letters myself.

Don't be scared, there is nothing to fear unless you make it. There is alot in life worth living for. Live
for your parents, live for your friends, live to make yourself happy. Set goals, accomplish them, set new
ones. You could sign up for your school musical, you could be one of the technicians. They help set up
the show, run it, produce it, take it down. You might have a lot of fun, and you don't have to be in front
of a lot of people. You could be a runner which is a person who takes props between right and left stage.
They also run notes between the light booth and backstage. That position doesn't require much people
interaction. You could be backstage; they set up the stage during the show and help run it. Examples:
When a prop needs to go on during blackout (Blackout: no light on stage), or when props need to be
taken off stage, they also help the actors remember what their lines are.

There is a lot of things that are worth living for, just have to keep your eyes open for the opportunity. (:

If you need anything, you are welcome to PM me or anyone else. You won't ever get turned down here.

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TheQuietGirl Offline
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Re: Really depressed, and losing hope quickly.. - August 17th 2012, 12:55 AM

Hey hun. I am the same age, and it is *tough*, I understand that much.

There are things to live for, I promise you. You have your parents, your future, and I will care deeply if you do anything to harm yourself. If you *ever* need someone to talk to, *always* feel free to message me.

I think being a "background" kid is something you can outgrow and learn to not be any more. I used to *fear* talking in front of people, being the centre of attention, etc. I still do a tiny bit, but I'm definitely a lot more outspoken than I used to be. I forced myself into theatre classes, and to talk in front of people, and I'm slowly getting used to it.

Don't be scared of anything. Life just throws tough stuff at you to make the good even better. For example, I was one of the most talented goal keepers (soccer) in my state. However I recently had bone surgery on my knee because of a soccer accident, and I got in a horse-back riding accident and I'm half blind. I'm still shooting to go pro. But you have to learn to believe in yourself, and that is a dreadfully hard thing to do! Life is scary, that is most certainly true. But you can get through it, I know you can.

Lots of love for you <3

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