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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Name: Jamie Shorrock
Age: 22
Gender: Female
Location: Australia

Posts: 53
Blog Entries: 7
Join Date: August 23rd 2012

I Don't Know What To Do Anymore - August 24th 2012, 12:10 AM

I don't know what to do, I used to, I used to be happy, I used to be able to get up in the mornings with a smile on my face. Now, all I think about is running away or taking my own life. I have a medical condition which can contribute to some of my depression but I have been depressed for years, also stressing about every little thing. I am sick of it! And I"m ready to say, I need help. I need a purpose in life, I mean, writing books is good enough to hold me over for a while but then something new happens. My past haunts my dreams, I am afraid of to step out of my house every morning to go to school because I feel sick with dread. I need control over my life but I can't seem to grasp onto the ride we call life. Is there anyone who can help me? Or am I destined to ride alone?
   
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Re: I Don't Know What To Do Anymore - August 24th 2012, 03:23 AM

Hey Jamie,

I'm not the most helpful person around here. But since nobody replied yet i'll just do it.
First of all, You are never alone. For example here are tons of people you can talk to, including me. I don't know about your past, I don't know why you feel sick with dread when you are going to school. But i do know how a depression feels. In my opinion the best thing to do is just talk with someone about your problems. I don't know anything else to help you. Maybe other people on this forum do. Anyways, you can pm me if you want to talk.

I hope you will feel happy soon.
   
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LifeIsOverwhelming's Avatar
 
Name: Jamie Shorrock
Age: 22
Gender: Female
Location: Australia

Posts: 53
Blog Entries: 7
Join Date: August 23rd 2012

Re: I Don't Know What To Do Anymore - August 24th 2012, 04:06 AM

Thank you, I appreciate you replying. I used to be able to tell myself 'Hey, there are people whom are going through life that are worse off than I am' but somehow it doesn't work anymore, perhaps if you tell yourself the same thing over and over again it doesn't persude you to remember, it makes you immune to those words.
-Sighs- I suppose things could be better but right now there is no bright light at the end of my tunnel, nor a speck of light.
When I found this I felt like I could talk freely, but I am still afraid of what everyone says. I would rather slowly die inside than have people thinking 'wow, this girl is stupid, she doesn't know what she is talking about'. Its hard to live with the kind of skeletons I have. I often stop and think 'it was all my fault, if I didn't do this, this wouldn't have happened'. It's hard enough to be in school and looking around at everything, people who think you're happy when you're depressed. There is no reason to laugh or smile so I pretend. I am getting good at hiding my feelings and then crying myself to sleep.
   
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