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tomboy2011 Offline
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i am a outcast - August 31st 2012, 06:13 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

3 yrs ago today my cusen died from drugs he was 20 and i feel like me and him are the outcast of the family and he would be the only one to try and understand me cutting i want to be with him i miss him so much and my cuttings been getting worse and my dad might find out about it so i just want to kill myself what should i do
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Re: i am a outcast - September 1st 2012, 01:08 AM

Hi there,

I'm really sorry to hear about that, and I can't even begin to understand how losing someone to that might feel. I'm sorry that you feel the way you do, as well, and I want you to know that it wont last forever. I very much doubt that you are an outcast, but if you feel that way, it might be a good idea to speak to someone about it. Chances are they don't understand how you feel because they don't know, and you can't blame them for that. If you talk to someone, not only will they know, but that way they can support you and you may actually feel better for it too. Having some of the burden taken off of your shoulders can be beneficial to you, because what you're carrying around with you now doesn't sound pleasant at all, and nobody would wish that upon you.

If your cutting is getting worse, I think it would be a great idea for you to consider finding alternative ways of coping. No form of self harm is a good way to deal with feelings, so perhaps you could take a look here for some different ways of dealing with them. When you get the urge to hurt yourself, use something from this list to distract yourself from it. Not everything will work, but don't be put off by those that don't. Keep looking and stay motivated. Self harm doesn't help the situation and it's better to kick it before it progresses and gets even worse than it has.

Remember that your cousin will never truly be gone. While he may have passed away, you have the memories the two of you shared together which will keep him alive in many other ways. Hold onto these. Instead of focusing on the fact he's gone, and remembering the circumstances of his death, think back to the fun times and the things that make you smile. I've lost 3 family members myself, and while it was a long time ago, I often still find it hard to think that I'll never see them again. Death effects you for a long time after it happens, but I keep myself going because I find memories that make me smile, rather than upset me. If ever I'm missing my family members who are no longer with me, I think back to them, and I let myself smile at their memory rather than cry at their passing. It's not about the fact they're no longer with you, it's about the fact that they were in the first place. That's a blessing, and it;s something to think of. It's perfectly okay to miss him and to be upset, especially if you were as close as you two seemed to be, but it's also okay to smile at the past regardless of the present.

I hope this has helped a bit. Don't give up. Life right now might seem tough, but you wont always feel like this. Feeling like an outcast is a difficult thing, but there are people out there you have yet to meet who you will feel comfortable and accepted around. Hang on to the possibility that the future is going to be better, because th possibility is huge. You have the potential for a fantastic life, so don't give up while you're this young, with so much ahrad of you. It's not worth giving all of that up because you're struggling right now. IT gets better.

Take care,

❤ Nana ❤

As far as we can discern,
the sole purpose of human existence
is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.
- Carl Jung

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Re: i am a outcast - September 1st 2012, 03:04 PM

You should talk to someone, first of all. I am here if you need to air out your problems.
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