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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Mitch Offline
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My friend... - October 15th 2012, 12:22 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

So recently I just got facebook a few weeks ago, and last night one of my classmates found me on here and added me. And after talking for awhile about our school grades, he said he got a c+ in English, and I was on an A- so I replied, "aw it's ok" and much to my confusion and surprise he replied with "people seem to say that a lot lately".

I asked what it was about, and he said it didn't matter, and that it was nothing. I said that it must matter otherwise he wouldn't have mentioned it and so he told me to forget he ever said anything. We continued our conversation for a while on a more positive note before he accidentally posted something that was meant for another one of his conversations that read, "I'm not at that point yet". So naturally, I queried him as to what he meant by that and he said that his friend had just told him not to kill himself on him. :/

Jamie's never really been the boy to appear sad, or that you think would be affected by depression. He even asked if he seemed sad at school, which of course he doesn't. He acts like any genuine happy, and normal kid with his friends, not really displaying any of the typical signs of anxiety or depression.
I was really shocked and wasn't quite sure what to do so I just told him that if he ever needs someone to talk to, then I am here, because I've been through it (still going) and it doesn't ever work to get through it yourself. He just said, "no, really, I'm fine" and he was persistent about avoiding the issue. I said: "Jamie, I used to tell myself that all the time, and then I broke down in front of everybody..." and once again, "I'm fine...".

So I had another go at him this afternoon to try and find out why he is so sad all of a sudden and he answered with "that's just how I am". And obviously being sad like this isn't 'normal' - especially having suicidal thoughts. I said sorry, because I didn't know how to help him because I have no idea what the problem is to which he answered, I don't need your help - I don't need any help - no one can help. And I asked why they couldn't and he said: "I don't know". He then went on to say that this is how he is, and I don't talk to him outside of school so I wouldn't know.

I'm just so confused as to what to do, as we have so much trust in each other, and he has helped me so I can't understand why he is blocking me out like this.

He clearly isn't OK, because whether his friend said it as a joke or not, is completely irrelevant and I won't take such warning signs lightly, because so often that is what happens, people trust their friends when they say 'I'll be alright' and it always ends in regret. I've talked to some of my friends about this and Harry has received training to deal with this kind of thing via the school and so we are going to take it to the school nurse/counselor. Any 'healthy' person does NOT say that sort of stuff! It's a risk that shouldn't be taken.
The last thing I asked him: "Why do you feel the need to hide or avoid what's bothering you?". At that point, he stopped replying to me so I left him alone.
As much as I've tried to get through to him, I just can't, so I will refer him to the school tomorrow because he has even mentioned suicidal thoughts. I really hope he is ok, but I'd rather him be mad at me for telling someone and trying to help (even though this will be anonymous) than having to bury him.

He's also been hinting at Harry in their conversation that he is sad, like silent cries for help whilst trying to avoid the issue.
   
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Re: My friend... - October 16th 2012, 06:52 AM

Hey there, I'm sorry about your friend. It would be better if he's mad at you over the grief if he died or the consequences if he failed.
Just be there for him. I know that most guys have an ego thing and only hint at shit without fully conveying the situation so keep at him. Go up to him in person and just tell him that you were there to talk to.

I know how shit it is to be hinting at suicide or even pointblank screaming it out (legit, to my mum and she still didn't believe me, go figure eh?) and not getting any help when it's obvious they need it.
You could even suggest this site to him and see if he opens up.

Jay.

P.S I just realised his name is spelt the exact way as mine wow, I"m so slow. F**k my brain.


Buddy since 18/11/12 LiveHelp Operator since 22/12/12 Add me on Facebook Jay Louise Shorrock!
A whisper in the dark; is better than silence in the light. -Courtesy of your's truly.
My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!

When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
   
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