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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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MindBodySpirit Offline
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Name: Not Michael
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I think I'm obsessed - January 26th 2013, 03:09 PM

I think I'm obsessed with the idea of suicide. I often fantasize about what it would be like if I just ended my life. I sort of play out peoples' reactions in my mind, and I've sort of figured out what I could expect for almost any situation.

I am very aware of different suicide methods, the time it would takes for it to be successful, the effectiveness, and the amount of clean-up. I even have the cost in mind for everything.

And would I do it? Well, yeah... I think I would, under the right circumstances. I mean, I don't want to make things difficult for people. I don't want to have them be in debt because I haven't paid off all my debt yet. I don't want them to have to clean up a mess.

Also, it's not that I feel like I need to end things right now. I don't. I just think about it lots, and I know it's not healthy. I WILL be alive for a really long time.

I really don't know why I'm making this thread in the first place. I guess it's just a confession, or something like that. I need to get it out there.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Reign. Offline
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Re: I think I'm obsessed - January 27th 2013, 01:00 AM

Well I'm proud of you getting all that out of your system. Life can really be difficult sometimes.
May I ask why you're having these thoughts?

And that's good that you plan on being around for a long time. That's the way it should be.



So dance if it moves you,
and jump in the fire, if it burns you.
I'll throw my arms around you darlin',
and we'll turn to ashes.

Kinda like the way you tell me,
"Baby, please come home. I need you here right now.
I'm crying underwater so you don't hear the sound."


What if I can't forget you?
I'll burn your name into my throat.
I'll be the fire that'll catch you.
What's so good about picking up the pieces?
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
MindBodySpirit Offline
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Re: I think I'm obsessed - January 27th 2013, 01:08 AM

I've sort of always had thoughts of suicide... Since grade school. A lot of people I knew happened to die that way, and even more have attempted. Whenever I am upset, I am almost comforted by the idea that I know how to, and could end it all...
   
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Reign. Offline
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Re: I think I'm obsessed - January 27th 2013, 01:25 AM

I understand that, I have the same notion sometimes. But you have to remember to fight it.



So dance if it moves you,
and jump in the fire, if it burns you.
I'll throw my arms around you darlin',
and we'll turn to ashes.

Kinda like the way you tell me,
"Baby, please come home. I need you here right now.
I'm crying underwater so you don't hear the sound."


What if I can't forget you?
I'll burn your name into my throat.
I'll be the fire that'll catch you.
What's so good about picking up the pieces?
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I think I'm obsessed - January 27th 2013, 01:51 AM

It's excellent that you can recognise that you have these thoughts and not act on them. I must say, if you ever feel the need to seriously act on them, please get yourself to a hospital immediately.

I'm glad you were able to feel like you've maybe gotten something off your chest. That's always good. It's honestly okay to think things like this, but what's not okay is going through with the thoughts. If you ever feel like the thoughts are annoying or are getting too much to handle, you should try to distract yourself with games or reading something, draw/paint, anything to distract your mind.

Here's a really big list of distractions, see if there's something on there that you fancy.

Quote:
1.Sleep
2.read
3.dance
4.sing
5.write
6.talk to pets
7.dance with pets
8.play with pets
9.poke pets
10.buy a pet
11.talk to plants
12. dance with plants
13.watch other people and make up life stories for them
14.sing into your hairbrush
15.experiment with makeup (even the guys)
16.do a fashion show for yourself or someone else
17.stay around other people
18.surf the net
19.look for stupid pictures on Google
20.go onto bored.com
21.make a cd
22.listen to music
23.make a video
24.draw
25.sit in front of the mirror and pull faces
26.change hair style/colour
27.draw over pretty people in magazines
28.make a collage of photos
29.make a collage that represents you (all positive pictures)
30.make someone a present
31.oragami
32.write a letter to someone
32.reorganise your cds or videos
33.make a happy box (put all the things that make you smile into it)
34.change your room
35.clean your room
36.clean the house
37.go to the gym
38.read the dictionary
39.read the bible
40.study
41.revision
42.work
43.learn another language
44.talk to a friend
45.phone someone
46.prank call someone
47.do the washing up
48.run around naked
49.put all the clothes in your wardrobe on and try to walk
50.jump up and down and see how long you can go for
51.count up to a million
52.try out new/different signatures
53.try writing with your toes
54.play games on the computer
55.play games on PS2, X BOX, PS etc
56.play cards with someone
57.learn new card tricks
58.Play solitaire
59.take a bath
60.take a shower
61.recreate a scene from a book
62.pretend to be someone stupid on Eastenders
63.write your own dictionary
64.write a book
65.buy a book
66.see how much gum you can chew at once
67.make your own board game
68.say the alphabet backwards three times in a row without mistakes!
69.Laugh at the number "69" haha!
70.do a word search
71.make your own word search
72.make a little flip book of stick men
73.go out with friends
74.go out with family
75.make a cake
76.melt kitkats
77.play an instrument
78.learn how to play an instrument
79.Paper aeroplanes
80.Redecorate some of ur clothes (ask for permission first!)
81.Hug one of ur teddy bears as tightly as poss. until the urges go away
82.watch the film you hate the most twice
83.Watch the complete trilogy of Lord Of The Rings? or read the books
84.Use a red felt tip pen instead
85.Go shopping
86.Prepare for the marathon
87.Go see a show/opera
88.Throw a party
89.If you had to organise a party for 100 celebrities what would it be like
90.Which 100 celebs would you invite
91.Count how many leaves there are on a tree
92.Play footy
93.Make up your own songs
94.Pretend to perform them for your sweetie
95.Pray
96.Read a thesaurus
97.Try and find the longest word in the dictionary
98.Paint your toes different colours
99.Try and keep smiling for 10 minutes? (it's so hard)
100.Play dares with your friends
101.Pretend it's April fools today!
102.Write a love letter telling the one you care about most how much they mean to you
103.Knit
104.Make your own wacky outfit
105.Go out with your mates n dare each other to try on whatever you pick out for em
106.Try and make pictures or faces out of clouds
107.Try join up all the stars with your finger
108.Learn what all the stars mean
109.Make your own quiz on here
110.Look at photos
111.See how much u can hole punch a piece of A4 paper
112.Try and see how many words u can type in 5 minutes
113.See if u can make a short story with the emoticons on msn
114.On RYL post to every thread in one section, then do another
115.Watch everything on one channel on the television without falling asleep or getting up
116.How long can u go without blinking
117.Give your guinea pig/hamster/pet rat or mouse a HAIR CUT (please be careful....for your pets sake!)
118.Scan your bum
119.Scan your bum then print loads of copies and give them to all your mates or post them thru people’s doors
120.Write in your diary/journal
121.Create one online
122.See how many channels u can go through on the Tele without ur thumb gettin tired
123.Miss call everyone u have saved in ur mobile? see how many respond
124.Research 'Okapi' on google.com
125.how how many words you can write in a minute, about anything!
126.Peel all the white bits off an orange
127.How much gum can u chew
128.Sit on the toilet
129.See how many times you can spin around without being sick
130.Teach your pet a new trick
131.how long can u keep your hands together
132.how bout counting how many distractions there are on this page then telling me how many
133.how long can you keep your eyes closed and not go to sleep!
134.PM everyone who has helped u saying thank u
135.Have a nice bath, listen to some relaxing music
136. E mail me...or a friend
137.Kiss everyone around you
138.put your phone on charge
139.Buy a phone!
140.Practise dancing
141.do some cheerleading
142.practise cheerleading
143.buy pompoms
144.play with pompoms
145.make your own pompoms
146.knit
147.Plan your dream wedding
148.Plan your dream holiday
149.Go to a concert
150.Take photos of anything n see if they could mean anything to u
151.Joy rid a bus
152.Fall asleep on a bus and see where u end up
153.Play bop it that’s well cool!
154.Organise a sleep over
155.Play spin-the-bottle
156.Learn to play chess
157.Play chess
158.Play all the board games you have in the house
159.Buy the newest type of monopoly I believe it's Lord Of The Rings
160.Listen to every CD you own
161.See how long you can go without saying anything
162.What is the weirdest sandwich you can make AND eat it!
163.Name all the seven dwarfs
164.Watch every Disney film you have
165.Make up a friendship test, see how well your mates know you
166.Dress up as the opposite sex
167.Do a puzzle
168.Make your own puzzle
169.Clean the hover well the hover normally cleans everything else n 170.doesn't get cleaned itself!
171.Learn to ski
172.Read your old letters
173.Design new flip flops
174.Organise your wardrobe by colour
175.Go to your nearest farm
176.See how far you can walk
177.How many times can you run up and down the stairs
178.Do your own word association page on paper
179.Search for stupid stuff on e bay
180.Blow up big lemonade bottles
181.How many insects can u count in your garden
182.How long can you hold a spider for
183.See how long you can keep jus one eye open for
184.Eat cheerys from a jar with a toothpick! Try finish them all!
185.Get a mate, one of u dress up as an angel and the other a devil then go round shops telling people to buy n not buy certain clothes!
186.See how many songs u can download in 30 minutes
187.Record yourself on a tape n make copies and give them to friends...tell them to listen while they sleep. you can stay stuff like "I'm your best friend in the whole world i deserve lots n lots of presents!"
188.See how many words you can write in a minute
189.See how many of those words you could write in a minute
190.make pancakes
191.eat pancakes
192.pretend you're a ghost who would you haunt first
193.make three wishes
194.make more wishes
195.cook all types of egg , try them all and see which one you prefer i bet you tried them all
196.Write a list of cool places to go on different pieces of paper, screw them up and pick one
197.Paint your fingernails different colours
198.Send people messages on the net in white font (with white background)
199.Change your MySpace layout!
200. See if I made any number errors
201. Keep your hands busy.
202. Look for a really hard Maths question on the internet and try and solve it.
203. Write Stories such as FanFiction.
204. Write down things you are proud of.
205. Go to the gym and work out vigorously to get things out of your system.
206. Make a bracelet.
207. Write mistakes on a mirror with an erasable marker, and then wash them away.
208. Write on yourself with a Sharpie (or something you can easily wash off)
209. Take Pictures.
210. Private Rave. Listen to upbeat songs and dance and jump around like crazy.
211. Make a long paper chain.
212. Watch the night sky either in silence or listen to an iPod.
213. Go to the park and go on the swings.
214. Bake something.
215. Write out quotes.
216. Think of something and try and describe it.
217. Play with blue tack.
218. Throw eggs at trees.
219. Learn the alphabet backwards.
220. Play Guitar Hero to keep your fingers busy.
221. Jump on a trampoline.
222. Make a Happy/Distraction Box.
223. Make a Happy Board, pin it up on your wall and cover it with bright/positive things and things that make you happy.
224. Rip up photos and stick them back together again.
225. Climb something (safely).226. Shower/Bathe with aromatherapy soaps.
227. Aromatherapy candles.228. Listen to your cat purr.
229. Tidy your room.
230. Shopping.
231. Do crunches.
232. Make an A – Z list of anything you want.
233. Do a puzzle.
234. Throw confetti around.
235. Origami.
236. List all the reasons you have not to hurt yourself.
237. Untangle things.
238. Make a list of ten things you love everyday.
239. Go on your games console and play a game that frustrates you.
240. Try ‘tapping’.
241. Try and do a Rubiks Cube.
242. Go for a long drive.
243. Try and find hilarious videos on YouTube.
244. Try Yoga.
245. Put a picture of a loved ones face near your tools, it’ll remind you not to give in to your urges.
246. Find letters/postcards and reread them.
247. The Butterfly Project.
248. Grab lollipops, a colouring book and a box of crayons etc and be a kid.
249. Try Brain Training for Nintendo.
250. Hold ice.
251. Do some gardening.
252. Draw on a patio with some chalk.


“There is nothing beautiful about the wreckage of a human being.
There is nothing pretty about damage, about pain, about heartache.
What is beautiful is their strength, their resilience, their fortitude
as they display an ocean of courage when they pick through the
wreckage of their life to build something beautiful brand new,
against every odd that is stacked against them.” — Nikita Gill
   
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