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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Aesir645 Offline
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No one gives a fuck - February 14th 2013, 04:05 AM

No One Gives A ****
By: Me
Written on February 13th, 2013
I wake up, try and make it a good day, and go to sleep crying or wanting to commit suicide. The only thing holding me back is I'm scared of going to Hell. If it wasn't for that, I would have disappeared years ago.

I wake up, exhausted from the day before and stressed out already(right as I wake up) from the assload of homework I have to do. Get ready, go to high school and throughout the day, become routinely depressed. The teachers throw homework assignment after homework assignment at me and I have trouble keeping track of them all and even more doing it. Thats what I get for taking any AP classes. Classes that I'm doing average in. When I can easily go into a regular class and dominate it without much effort. I walk into the AP class, and everything goes downhill. I feel incredibly stupid in those classes. It just brings me down how I could torture myself studying and do just fine while the AP procrastinators and goof offs do amazing. What makes them so much ******* better than me. They have time to do all this work, still go to the gym and look great while I can't drop a single pound of fat and still go out and have fun. It always seems like nothing goes wrong for them. Meanwhile me, close to failing 2 classes, lost my car in a major wreck and struggling with my weight for a good 4 years now. What makes them so special that they get to be so much better than me? Why can't I be special? Why can't I be important? Why can't I matter? I don't remember a single happy time in high school. All I am is used by these "friends" I am nice to EVERYONE. Second I have a bad day and not in the mood to be nice and show how I really feel, the universe and its inhabitants are against me. People ask me for **** all the time but when I need help, I hear echoes. I don't really know if I have friends or not. To even talk, I always have to make the first move. I figured if we were really friends, he'd come up to me once in a while right? Its almost as if I'm not wanted around. I can't tell them any of this. I don't trust anyone enough, not even my family. They see me as an embarrassment. What parents who work in the medical field allow their son to get this fat? I could at least do something with my size and play football but no, I have to go and be a ******* nerd. My friends don't like me around, my parents are embarrassed of me...

Why stay here?
   
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Collies R Us Offline
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Re: No one gives a fuck - February 17th 2013, 11:34 PM

YOU DO MATTER.
Really, you do matter. I am grateful you didn't kill yourself sort of because of God, but I am sad that your reason was so you won't got to Hell.

I'm not saying suicide is okay, because it is not.

But God watches you everyday. He sees all your struggles and knows all your hurt. Can you believe that even if the entire world suddenly hated you, God would still love YOU? The Creator of the universe would still love you. He loves you now.

"Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28 (NRSV)
That is Jesus talking.

I know from being a student myself, how hard it is to manage to stay afloat in the endless sea of homework, but many times, in different ways, God has given me strength. And also rest; physical, emotional, and spiritual.

He does care for you. He wants you to love Him like how He loves you. He's like a parent, in a way God is a parent actually, but He's a loving and caring Father who sees your struggle and wants to help you, if you would only hear Him! He does care. Even if you mess up, He still cares.

He wants to be with you so badly that He Himself went down as Jesus, His son and also God incarnate, to die and pay for your sins. It's only valid if you accept Him though. Jesus died to give you a chance. Will you take it?

YOU DO MATTER VERY MUCH TO GOD.

-Collies R Us


"Be strong and bold; have no fear or dread of them, because it is the LORD your God who goes with you; he will not fail you or forsake you." (Deut. 31:6 NRSV of the Bible)
   
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